Mason’s Folly by nsbnina

Is a story about a story a story?

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SM Prasad
16 days ago

hi NSB Nina
A very interesting story. A woman whose childhood and adult life has been marred by inexplicable tragedy and she struggles to make sense of it. She’s suspicious of who killed her brother and how her father died. I’m not sure if you gave us any clues to follow. I know that they drove from somewhere N of VT and ended up in FL. Perhaps because her father died in a one-car accident, her mother had something to do with it?
Anyway, the pace and the narrative flow is really good, but I’m not sure that I picked up on the story enough. You’ve got an intriguing set up.

Paul J P Slater
12 days ago

Hi Nina,

At 5 years old, your MC must have been frightened and saddened at the death of her younger brother.
As you say above, she does not have answers and may unknowingly be on a quest to find answers.

I am left wondering if her brother’s death was murder (which is premeditated) or perhaps an act of vandalism.
I.e. local thugs throwing rocks at the odd or different family and they remain oblivious of the consequences.

I look forward to reading more about Mason.

Thank you for sharing an enthralling read.

Keep writing.

Cheers,
Paul

Patrick
10 hours ago

Hi Nsbnina,
This is a good start to a BIG story. Perhaps too much for a small 500-word story. There’s so much going on.
I liked some of the description very much: “Icicles and paperwhites and sometimes there were promises”;”The room filled with broken glass and women wailing”. Both very evocative and moving.
The way I read it, I understood the italic text to be what Cecily was writing and the rest of the text narrative and backstory. Hope this was correct. There’s just so much going on in your backstory. Overwhelming.
I did not understand what Mason’s Folly refers to. The death of the child? The family leaving? The father’s suicide? Or even the name of the homestead?
This could be the start of a novel. A big challenging work! The reference to the mother loading “everything worth keeping, including Gramma Nellie” could be a chapter itself.
Good work.
Cheers,
Patrick