• Oh nice cliffhanger. Here I was wondering about the should have checked their email… was that a forewarning and then getting all cozy when pow. Well done. Except now I have to wait a week 🙂

  • Well played, Lenore. Once again, you I use the scene with emotion as the tension builds with mounting conflict. What a rich scene and powerful turning point.

  • Whoa! What a plan!! Fantastic image you’ve conjured up. Truly evil. Well done. Meanwhile,I think you did a good job with Bill and Connor, with Lottie wishing thePM weren’t coming and with her mum snapping at Connor, showing the stress of the wedding combined with the worry about her husband. That Izzy is a cheeky little bit.m

  • Hmmm interesting twist at the end. Worries me,which is good. Well done. Especially after such a cozy sweet scene. Perfect contrast.
    I wondered if you might have Barb say simply Where would I have gone and leave the bit about her parents dumping her to internal thought? It felt stilted having her say it, but for sure we want that moment of her…[Read more]

  • Arvilla held the last letter Frank had written her with shaking hands. She felt it smirking at her, as if this piece of paper from the past knew how she’d taken his words and laughed knowing what he’d been say […]

    • Hi Nina
      Wow, that first scene. I adore it. I was listening to Weekend In New England when I read the part about Arvilla and Frank, so I guess that sent it all over the edge a little, haha. I love those little hints about the death surrounding Arvilla, and Dorothea front and center throughout. The distance between Annie and Lucy is so beautifully communicated, adding another delicate layer to their story. Gorgeous writing once again. Well done xxx

    • HI Nina, what a big reveal about Arvilla and Frank. I admire that you found just the right touch of bittersweetness. I did wonder about Frank signing the letter “all my love”? For me, that’s a little too much emotion to be platonic…but maybe that’s just me.
      Your language was beautiful throughout but this line is particularly beautiful: “Loud as cicadas on a summer night. And to Arvilla’s bruised heart just as relentless.”
      When you wrote about Arvilla and the secrets revealed to her about her mother and grandmother, I instinctively thought “That’s another book!” So maybe think about turning this into a multi-volume saga?

    • Poor Arvilla! Such a weight of things left unsaid…you wrote her very sympathetically, which I think was the perfect approach.

      I also think Max adds just enough lightness to keep the Annie/Lucy scenes from being too heavy. He sort of provides the same type of relief that Jack did when he was there. I’m still looking forward to the mother and daughter Big Talk.

      Love the ending. You are setting up a big scene at the inquest, compelling for everyone in the book – and naturally, for we the readers.

      Great job, Nina!

    • Excuse me while I go burn some journals…ahem. It fascinates me of the secrets people leave behind, especially those that can hurt loved ones. All in the name of being “known.” The wat this is written makes me don’t the “accidents!” What has Dorothea done??

      this is another great, well paced scene. I’m already feeling grief that Gilly Falls won’t be here for me to visit by January. And I’ll never see Jack again! Which just reaffirms…great writing!

  • Oh nice. Thanks for the way you handled the party. We know who that congressman is 🙂 really well done.
    and perfect dynamic between Laura and Will. She def won’t want to let go, but Will is right and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Christine gets approval. There’s been an interesting and sensible move toward housing young people with the e…[Read more]

  • Yeah I agree with Bev. But good for you to have this.

  • Wow great ending. Nice visuals throughout mixed with the undercurrents made for an intriguing and dramatic scene. And what a cliffhanger. As always beautiful writing. Maggie is a deep one. As for Nathan, well you have us wondering. xoxo

  • Sweet scene. Glad things are going their way. Also I liked their talking about the what if’s connected to buying the property, triggered by Covid but a serious issue so well done there. Hope they find a cozy inn where nobody knows their name 🙂

  • Oh Ann, nice to see her thrown a bit and awkward which you showed so well. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for her with Gerry. And the dynamic with her friend was a great way to show how insecure she feels about her attractiveness to men. Lots of dynamics in this scene I realize now. Spot on with Patrick. I like how you’re nudging out the bac…[Read more]

  • Great scene. I almost forgot Bill wasn’t Connor’s dad. The pace was just right. Maybe you could do some tightening in the opening paragraph. Do you ever read your scenes out loud? But seriously,this was a tender scene between the two men and well placed given not only the wedding, but Bill’s health. Self-doubt is par for the course.

  • Oooooh thanks for keeping Riddick short. That works perfectly for the scene as well :). And I think you pulled it off withSasha 🤞🏽 I suppose Christine is too old to foster or adopt Michelle? Nice bit between Sheila and Paul,though I imagine it’s not smooth sailing yet. You’re doing a fabulous job skirting the edges of depravity.

  • Nina commented on the post, Gilly Falls #38 by nsbnina 1 week ago

    Thanks, Patty! I went back and forth but will now add quotes. I do scrutinize every phrase, pretty much, with the danger of losing story so I’ve been working on not getting lost in the writing.

  • Lovely scene. Makes me wonder if the girls will be the ones who bring Bettina and Morgan and their mothers back together. Renate is a good addition. Hope we get to go to a club meeting soon. I like how quickly and simply you show her relationship with Tom.

  • “Her name is Lucy, but they call her Luz.”
    What a tremendously odd moment this was. Annie and Max were bent over Annie’s phone looking at photos posted by Maggie’s daughter. Lucy didn’t know how to feel. Somewhere […]

    • Hi Nina,

      Your writing is so precise, so intentional, as if you’ve scrutinized every phrase, every word, and chosen the best of the best to make it to the page. I always look forward to reading your scenes because I know I will – however briefly – be transported to Gilly Falls and all its secrets.

      I especially love how tenderly you write Jack and Annie’s interactions. Jack seems to be a perfect man, doesn’t he?

      And poor Arvilla! Such a sacrifice she made for her sister. Or maybe not. Maybe it was made out of fear. Whatever the reason, she cuts such a melancholy figure.

      It’s all so so good. My one tiny editing suggestion would be to add quotes to the line where Jack and Annie are both saying the same thing. I think not having them is a distraction. But as always, that’s just my $.02. Do with it as you will. 🙂

      • Nina replied 1 week ago

        Thanks, Patty! I went back and forth but will now add quotes. I do scrutinize every phrase, pretty much, with the danger of losing story so I’ve been working on not getting lost in the writing.

        • That is so impressive. I fear that my writing ‘on the fly’ will come back to bite me at a later time. Spontaneous only takes you so far…… ACK!

    • Hi Nina
      Lucy is a piece of art herself in these scenes, especially the first. I how you framed her decision to do the show, with Frank and Maggie. It shows the magnitude of the roles they played in her life. Excellent conundrum, giving Jack the two career choices, with Annie beginning to rethink some things, examine others more closely. And that bit with Arvilla is just the cherry on the cake. Lovely picture of her, sad, serene, such a beauty surrounding her in it. Well done xxx

    • I knew it! Ever since you mentined that book of poetry, I knew there was something between Frank and Arvilla….but that’s it , in Gilly Falls, right? everybody meddles with everybody. Hidden links and relations everywhere. Like Maggie would name her daughter Lucy…It’s going to be interesting when we finally meet her.
      Lucy certanly took center stage here in this scene and you portrayed her very well. There was only one point where thing went a bit too fast for me. It’s when Lucy is in her studio , looking at Frank’s portrait and she’s unsure about the show. Then she looks at Maggie’s drawing and suddenly she’s sure? I think I need some internal thought here to understand the change of mind….
      Nina, you have lovely phrasings everywhere, I’ll only pick out the most beautiful one: “… the fire took stage, like a prima ballerina fluttering and flickering her wings.” So beautiful!

    • You always have such quotable lines – beautiful lines. the one that will stay with me this time is – That was the thing about mothering, wasn’t it? It had to be first. 
      Obviously plenty of other examples of gorgeous writing and also some fab verbs – lulled / slouched / clinked / tamped. You do settling / atmosphere / food so well – can almost smell it as I read.
      Now to plot – delighted with Jack’s job dilemma especially with Annie getting more keen on her childhood home! Great twist that Arvilla was the one who once romanced with Frank and good idea re checking out social media of adopted daughter. Love your work and this scene was no exception!

    • “Lucy was overcome with grief. She felt the loss of Maggie all over again.” Lucy seems to have loved Maggie more than Annie… no wonder she ran upstairs. Who is Maggie’s father? I think i’ve been told, but have forgotten. I’m glad Lucy is listening to her ghosts and going ahead with the show.

      “it’s not for you to do, Annie.” Sighhhhh. Jack is so intuitive and sensitive and… sighhh. I want to read the poems. Such a dilemma they will face now, with two offers. And the bean! You’ve written this couple so well, i really do feel like I know them! Please don’t tell Annie about my crush!

      “It does smell like home, doesn’t it?” Max was poking the logs to spark the flame.” Love how you bring all the senses in.

      “Sitting in the dimly room,” I’m shocked! I think you left out a word! You might have a little bit of human after all this perfection! 😉

      “Letters Frank had sent her when he’d gone off into the world. Letters she’d written back but never sent.” I am curious about the timeline… Clearly Lucy must have been in the picture when Frank wrote Arvilla? Or perhaps Dorothea was in the midst of her breakdown. Such a sad, poignant image: stack of letters, tied in raffia, from the middle desk drawer.”
      We are headed toward the end I think. I will be sad to not have Gilly Falls to visit every week!

    • Sorry for the late post. I’ve switched to my house in Portugal and I don’t know where the time went. Your writing is so beautiful and tender. Gilly Falls seems like a place lost in time to me and the story of maggies death continues to fascinate. I can feel the pathways are all beginning to meet up and the characters are coming to their destinations. Super writing

  • Well done. The anxiety was palpable and the fear and guilt. Again I would cut the qualifiers. Since we’re in Kas’s head, seeing things from her point of view the seeming is a given and takes away from the immediacy.

  • Nina commented on the post, You by nsbnina 1 week, 3 days ago

    Oh Christian, thank you!

  • Nina commented on the post, You by nsbnina 1 week, 3 days ago

    Thanks, Jane. I like to skirt that line of clarity and allusion. Glad you enjoyed it.

  • Nina commented on the post, You by nsbnina 1 week, 3 days ago

    Thanks for prompting me to look at my BrothersGrimm again 🙂 glad you liked the poem.

  • Nina commented on the post, You by nsbnina 1 week, 4 days ago

    Thanks, Christy. Those short lines do set the tone.

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