• Haha, where indeed? Don’t worry, I may meander but I know where I’m going…mostly 😉

  • Hi Martin, this scene would be hard to jump into and get all the relationships and yes they’re a quirky bunch. Glad you enjoyed the read nonetheless. Thanks for dropping in.

  • Hi Ben
    Glad you caught this season’s girl 🙂 Sheila’s a fun one.

  • Limor and Profile picture of NinaNina are now friends 2 days, 2 hours ago

  • Lovely imagery in this scene.I like the opening description if her waking up, drawing in the outside world. The third paragraph stopped me, wondering if she was really hearing her friends make their way through the village, maybe they’re outside her room by then? Nice use of dialogue to tell of her dream while also showing the close bond between t…[Read more]

  • It was nice to see Bernadette at work. Like Deryn, I was stopped by the giggling parents. And, like Becky, confused about Tom being in the boss’s office waiting. And I wasn’t totally sure who was talking at the end. Nice job moving the Vargas thread along, while creating more stumbling blocks for Bernadette. And the boss…good portrait of a bum…[Read more]

  • I’m sorry I haven’t kept up with your story as the scene had me riveted. I was interested and curious about Lucy and Catherine’s relationship, and suspicious of the matron. I like how played with time, weaving Catherine’s inner thoughts with both her own and Lucy’s situations, and Lucy’s spark of spunk at the end.

  • I keep thinking threesome with Chrissie and the guys…loved the discomfort on Gio’s part and Fran’s bluntness. Fun read.

  • Ramping it up. I love Poppy.nice use of dialogue to move the story along while showing Grey’s haughtiness and nervousness. Nice scene. There’s a dame that I think should be a damn midway through.

  • Oh David, this lovely. Something clicked for me in this scene from the start and then the spare and simple way you ended it, the way you phrased it on the page, was beautiful. At the start, the line that equates the sun nearing the horizon with him setting out was pure poetry. I was distracted at the wedding wanting to see – were there flowers,…[Read more]

  • The very end (which I changed on my copy) is Magda and Clarissa. Once Sheila says she has to pack,she’s gone. Glad you had fun reading it and thank you so much for all your reading to catch-up. Much appreciated. Yes Clarissa’s probably happy not to know what Wilder was saying, but you can possibly guess.

  • Thanks, Michael, for the nice feedback, and yes I should have put quotes and made Clarissa speak directly to Sheila.will change that. Fun bunch,hunh?

  • Alden is in his 40s but as an eccentric wealthy bachelor in some ways stuck in adolescence because he can afford to be and his people skills are limited.thanks for the read.

  • Thanks, Sudha. Alden has a unique personality and way of speaking,partly because he’s a Boston Brahmin and partly cuz he’s just odd. The apparently idea is a good one. Amy wasn’t in the living room but was sitting to Alden’s left at dinner not mentioned with everyone else cuz she’s a kid. As for the stories Magda andClarissa tell, well…&#…[Read more]

  • SM and Profile picture of NinaNina are now friends 4 days, 12 hours ago

  • Poor Larry. You do a lovely job of showing little we often know of others’ intentions. My favorite, though, was Rosella worrying that Ken won’t want to be Barbie’s boyfriend, now she’s been thrown in the mud. There’s a whole world in that. And I love the you mean we at the end.

  • Oooh the plot thickens. There was a nice reflective feel to this scene. I was a bit lost on who’s who but that’s because of following so many stories days between scenes. Climbing to her knees stopped me though with funny images filling my head. I like how you ended it, with a flurry of anxiety and that sense of now we’re going somewhere.

  • Haha, yes I think you will love to hate them. I think there’s no pain in a stranger’s past and too much in her own.

  • Oh good, I loved the image if the garment bag as effigy so I’m glad it worked fir you. Yes, Clarissa seems to hit a lot of buttons, but you’re right, she’s a young woman with a child who has never been in her own (though I suspect has in some ways always been in her own) and no better than she should be. Thanks for the compassionate take on her.

  • You’re right there and I’m going to add a brief scene with Clarissa and Alden to the first overnight but haven’t quite worked it out yet. I knew I wouldn’t get away with how it is but I wanted to fit all Rachel into the word count.

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Nina

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@nsbnina

Active 4 hours, 16 minutes ago
Short Story balance: 3
Poetry balance: 3
WTC balance: 8
52 Scenes balance: 14