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  • Great poem, Honey Mustard. I love the imagery and metaphorical aspect. A lot said in few words but with a lot of impact. Thank you.

  • Thia Sawyer commented on the post, F(N) by DE 4 days, 4 hours ago

    Deep, dark honesty. Well done on that.
    Another comment mentioned the spacing. Did you mean to have that much space between the sections or did it just come out that way? I ask because my posted poem was meant to be single spaced and posted double space or 1.5, which I didn’t like the look of.
    Thanks for posting.
    Thia

  • The sadness and bitterness really come through in this poem. I did also find it a difficult to follow the love and loss of the relationships. But the difficulty of family life and struggles of separations is well portrayed. Thank you for posting this.

  • Thank you, Limor–
    Your comments are helpful to me. I was using shimmers as a verb, but maybe maybe it is no a verb. Also, I changed the last two lines to He offers her…. and She offers him…. I’m still toying with that change.

  • A common theme for this prompt and for writing. Maybe more specificity for the “Something” in Something tells me. What is the something? What or who urges the Something to speak to the writer?
    Thanks for posting!

  • Very scary! Russian roulette is such a horrible idea, just like duels. Thanks for posting.
    Thia

  • Hi Riham,
    What a poetic take on a river. I was particularly struck by the description of the river hitting the dam. And, also, your poetic take on the mighty ocean. I am wondering why you give the river the masculine pronoun. Thank you for the thought provoking ideas in your poem.
    Thia

  • Well done little little scene of this boy who could represent so many. Thank you.

  • Tidy and, well, bodacious. Thank you for this memorable haiku.

  • I love the title for your poem that is so full of emotion. Quite the contrast. The blank slate, new beginning and all that. Good detail writing of the scene. Thank you, Limor.

  • I love the title for your poem that is so full of emotion. Quite the contrast. The blank slate, new beginning and all that. Good detail writing of the scene. Thank you.

  • Local Catch by Thia Sawyer

    *

    Dinner at Gemstone’s

    Reservations at eight

    Premium Terrace Table

    Full Moon View

    Triangle of gold shimmers the lake

    Glasses clink a wordless toast

    Chef’s Specials–Local Catch, […]

    • Haha …so this proposal didnt go down too well then 😏
      Enjoyed this, thanks for sharing!

    • I read this because the title intrigued me – I like how the poem is woven around the stage and scenery, but the real point is the blank stare. Thanks for sharing, enjoyed reading it

    • This is brilliant Thia and I laughed out loud at the ending! The Gemstones in the beginning and the diamond solitare in the end was a nice tie in of the whole theme, I hovered a bit at your line ‘Triangle of gold shimmers the lake’ and felt it maybe needed a preposition but then again the wordless toast lifted it all back up again. Lovely work!

    • Thank you, Limor–
      Your comments are helpful to me. I was using shimmers as a verb, but maybe maybe it is no a verb. Also, I changed the last two lines to He offers her…. and She offers him…. I’m still toying with that change.

    • I like the way you’ve used the specifics for this: the name of the restaurant (very apt) and all the details of the food and drinks. The ending is unexpected and a good take on the prompt.

    • I loved the twist in the tale! How could the proposal be so misjudged? Well done & thanks

  • Cute ending. I, too, had to re-read some of the story parts because there are so many names for a short piece. A fun read.
    thia

  • I really like this story. As I was reading, I kept asking myself how I wanted the story to end. War romances are such great short story fodder. Thanks for reminding me! Writing in a second language is always tough, but keep at it and keep writing!
    Thank you for your story–
    Thia

  • I agree that you have a basic for a longer story, but you did a nice job of fitting it all in to the 1000 words. The spacing does make it a bit difficult to read, especially with the double quotation marks. I’ve noticed that some writers just use dashes, others use single quote marks, and others use nothing but work the dialogue so that the reader…[Read more]

  • Vyki–
    Ha–You did a great job of building up to something definitely not expected the job to be. Kudos for that.
    The style seems a bit wordy with sentences that aren’t really needed. An example would be when the interviewer calls back to inform Kate that she got the job.
    I love that she went out and bought a new pink dress for the job. What we…[Read more]

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active 4 days, 4 hours ago