• Enough (Nature Mage 352) by Michael van Koetsveld
    #
    NOTE FOR READERS: 
    This story continues directly from last month’s episode of Jenvik the Nature Mage’s story – so many people wanted to know what happened next. […]

    • Hello Michael! I was hoping the story had progressed (I confess I’ve already read this bit and was looking to see where it lead). You’ve been weaving a grand adventure and I am enjoying the ebb and flow as characters come and go. There was one bit that read a bit awkwardly and that was turning their mouths to molten putty and their tongues to cease to function (three infinitives in a row).

      • Cheers Teresa,
        There are more episodes to come in the beta releases but I wanted to give everyone else the opportunity to follow on from the last one as well.
        Thanks for your feedback and your continued support.
        Michael

    • The pacing is good for a continued story, so no can’t wait to read the next chapter. It was a bit confusing when your heroes had a bit of an argument. However, as part of a big piece, I think it would be a lot easier to get in the rhythm of the story.

  • Michael vK and Profile picture of Ruth NolanRuth Nolan are now friends 1 month ago

  • It Happened (Nature Mage 324) by Michael van Koetsveld

    #

    “They certainly all look alike to me,” said Aleratha. “How do you know it’s the same crow?”

    “It just spoke to me,” replied Jenvik quietly.

    She […]

    • This was interesting and well written, but ends on a bit of a cliff-hanger. Is the Wolf a foe or a friend? Is that who the crow is leading them to? Is the Wolf named Badger?

      • Hi Melissa,
        I love that you want to know more – the cliff-hanger is working!
        The wolf is neutral at the moment, but is a familiar of another nature mage that they are about to meet, and his nickname is “Badger”.
        It’s getting busy with badgers now – with three physical ones and one person with it as a nickname, but it all makes sense when you have the full story.
        Thanks for reading and for your feedback.

    • I enjoyed it, the surprise of the bear talking to her was so cool. Also the crow told them not to stop but they have so what danger is coming to them? I am very curious about who the Badger is and what is going on with the Wolf. Great read. Thank you.

      • Hi Angelique,
        There’s so much to explain about who is who that I have not included it in every episode. The story is now over 100k words long, this is just a snippet.
        The Badger that the crow refers to is not a badger at all, he’s a Gnome Nature Mage who has two badger familiars and “Badger” is his nickname.
        Thanks for reading and for your feedback.

    • Great stuff, Michael! I will have to read the entire novel when it’s finished to connect the dots, having joined only last month. ;°)

      Love the telepathic dialogue – just a cool trick. And anything that ends on WOLF will have me read on!

      • Cheers Vera, I appreciate that you keep reading the episodes and I will certainly put you on my list of interested readers for the final thing.

    • I like that your story is both unordinary, but also, easy to get into and follow. It keeps a reader on their toes and wanting to read the whole story.

      • Hi Bogdana,

        Thank you for your feedback – I’m glad that my writing is easy to get into, but even happier that it makes you want to read more!

  • Freedom by Michael van KoetsveldNOTES: Words in brackets in all caps are the translation of the old tongue that Jenvik uses to talk to animals. This is part 296 (one a day) of an ongoing story started in March […]

    • I do always love your continuing story, Michael, though I miss so much of it between times. I was quite amused at the hangover from the mead, it reminded me of my first mis-adventure with beer when I was fifteen! I enjoy the easy camaraderie of your characters, and Shireg’s playful humor. I also like that I felt like I was there in the scene, passing the day enjoying the freedom of the open deck, and sitting “in her favourite spot, up in the bow of the ship where she could watch what was ahead and listen to the ship cutting through the waves. Poppet and Gildrim, the bear, had joined her. She leaned back against Gildrim’s warmth, relishing the wind in her hair.”
      Just a few edits to consider:
      the opening paragraph: and tied to commit the scene to the kitty of memories – I think you meant tried to commit
      In this sentence: The crow spotted her and flew past in a dive that made her hair flutter in the downdraft of its wings passing. – I wonder if it would read better “in the downdraft of is passing wings.”
      My other suggestion would be to italicize the internal conversations, rather than CAPS enclosed in parenthesis. With CAPS, it seems like they are screaming at each other (internally), whereas italicized it would be a softer form of communication.
      These are just minor things and do not detract from the overall greatness of your story! Looking forward to more of Jevnik’s adventure! Lovely work, Michael.

      • I have made your two suggested edits, thank you.

        I have got them in brackets and caps for now because in the actual doc I am writing the text is in another font that I made specially to depict the ancient Ogham lettering. I use plain italics for thoughts inside Jenvik’s head and had to distinguish the animal speak in another way. I’m sure that once I get the first draft done, and if I ever get to publish it, I will have a more considered attempt at making it less shouty.

        Thanks for reading.

    • Love it, Michael! Very visual writing (I wonder why that is… ;°)).

      Having the internal dialogue in CAPS in brackets works very well for me – possibly even better than having it in a different font? Just because it makes it so stark and different. And also a little funny, somehow.

      Guess I’ll have to look out for / catch up on all the other bits of this story!

      • Thanks Vera,

        If you use the search bar at the top of the page and enter “nature Mage” all my initial episodes will appear.

        Alternatively, I could add you to my readers’ list and send you weekly updates, but be warned, I’m approaching 100k words already and it might take you a while to catch up.

        Thanks for reading.

    • I liked and think is is a good read. I particularly enjoyed the sense of adventure through the narrative and just enough description for one to have your own imagination making the story vivid. Good stuff and good writing!

    • Eek, not well travelled due to terrible motion sickness myself especially on water. I felt their hangover more than I would have liked. I really enjoyed this chapter and from what I read in your reply to Vera, I would like to do a catch up on previous editions and be added to your readers list for the weekly updates if you wouldn’t mind including me. Thank you.

      • I’m glad you enjoyed the scene (sort of), and I have send you a private message about joining the list.

        Thanks for reading

    • Invocative scene–though I’m just stepping into the story, I feel like I know my way around already. I agree with suggestions to italicize those internal conversations but, as you say, that may be a decision for later. Characters nicely differentiated, even in this short scene, and the plot moved forward. What else is a scene supposed to do? Oh, yeah–hold interest. It did that too. Looking forward to the next.

    • Hey Michael fantastic to see you and Jenvik again. I love all your tales but especially enjoy the ones when she is at sea. I still cant fathom how you manage to keep going with such aplomb when prompt/concept and word count are prescribed. This is one of my favourite parts of Jenvik’s story, I did giggle throughout and it flowed excellently, your pacing as ever is excellent and your use of both snappy dialogue and narration are spot on. Well done!

      • Hi Amy,

        Yes, it’s good to be back, though I haven’t stopped at all really.

        Thank you for your positive feedback, it made me smile!

  • Michael vK changed their profile picture 2 months, 2 weeks ago

  • Michael vK and Profile picture of LindaLinda are now friends 2 months, 3 weeks ago

  • Michael vK and Profile picture of del richardsdel richards are now friends 3 months ago

  • Michael vK and Profile picture of EimarEimar are now friends 3 months, 1 week ago

  • Michael vK and Profile picture of HyleHyle are now friends 3 months, 2 weeks ago

  • Load More

tbreit

Profile picture of tbreit

@tbreit

Active 1 week ago
Short Story balance: 0
Poetry balance: 1
WTC balance: 1
52 Scenes balance: 2