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  • Thank you for sharing from your personal story and how that moment changed everything. I liked how you used rhymes even though it has an uneven rhythm – makes it flow a certain way.

  • I can actually see her in my mind’s eye, sitting in a corner, in her own world. This evoked sad feelings in me about getting old to be honest – is that how we are supposed to end life, alone, lost in our own world? (I know, a tad morbid) I like how you expressed it in simple language yet creating the image of where she is and what state she is in

  • I like how this is so concisely matter of fact and yet says a lot about the reality of having ageing parents and not being able to take care of them any more. Growing up I lived with my grandmother who had senile dementia. This resonates with me at a deep level.

  • I totally feel all the feelings that are in this poem – the guilt and the overwhelm and the reality. Sometimes putting it down on paper like this makes it all so clear. I liked your use of rhymes and yet being expressive of the situation and why it is necessary to adjust expectations. Rather sad, but evoked empathetic emotions. Nice work

  • Blank by Stevie Kadangwe

    *

    The whiteness of the page

    Is like an insurmountable mountain for days

    My brain jumps from idea to distraction

    To a wisp of a formulation

    That when held, becomes nothing

    The email […]

    • Yes, we all feel exactly what your poem says. Well done.

    • Very nice, Stevie! The poem very well explains the journey of a writer from beginning to end.

    • Haha! SO relatable! Well done!

    • OMG, I so relate to this. I’m drawing a blank for the Red Lipstick prompt, even though its only 300 words, and should have several obvious plot lines to choose from. I don’t often suffer from writers block, but when I do, it’s just a great big Blank, just as your poem suggests. Well done!

  • So many of us struggled with the empty page on this prompt. I like your piece, thank you for sharing

  • Hahaha! This is amusing and especially relatable because it is also true for me. Excellent work

  • I read this because the title intrigued me – I like how the poem is woven around the stage and scenery, but the real point is the blank stare. Thanks for sharing, enjoyed reading it

  • I have a friend telling this very story so this resonates with me in a tangible way. I liked your use of rythm especially in the first stanzas. I like it

  • Thanks Peggy – sadly a reality . Thanks for reading

  • I like how you have navigated through what worked and what didn’t, and the tangibly sympathetic way you have tackled the subject of seeking help and healing after a crisis. This is a powerful read, thank you for sharing

  • This was so moving and realistic, pain palpable in the way the hurt think and act towards others. I also liked the multiple POVs, made it even more alive and both characters sympathetic (I felt triggered when I read the potatoes part, but telling it from Frank’s point of view helped me process what was happening better. Well done, I have been to…[Read more]

  • I enjoyed reading this. The title intrigued me when I read the first part, and I liked how it ended. Nicely done, I also liked your balanced use of dialogue and description to pull the story together and express the humanity of the guardian angel

  • This made me giggle “The worst thing to happen would be a bare chested man bursting through the door to ravish them. She was overdue for a good ravishing.” – would that not be the best thing for her hahaha. I loved how you effectively used the dialogue and how present all the characters were. (sidebar: I also like the idea of writers getting…[Read more]

  • Oh interesting! At my former workplace, they called it a scheme. I was completely out of ideas and was quite surprised that I was able to make something of this topic. Thank you for reading and your comment

  • Thank you 🙂 no doubt there is more that she could have fallen for, but exploring a few of the things was fun

  • The sun was setting in a beautiful golden array as she stared out of the window in the kitchen, waiting for Phiri to come home. She had made the small house they lived in into a cosy retreat for her family of four […]

    • For being a last minute entry, you managed to pull this together quite well. There are a few word choices that are questionable – the term ‘medical scheme’ is particularly one that kept leaping out at me. The word ‘plan’ or ‘program’ would fit more easily. Unfortunately this is the sad reality a lot of people face in countries where there is no government-supported medical coverage.

      • Oh interesting! At my former workplace, they called it a scheme. I was completely out of ideas and was quite surprised that I was able to make something of this topic. Thank you for reading and your comment

      • Kim replied 1 week ago

        Medical Scheme is used in South Africa,its the same sort of ‘health plan’ as Medicaid in USA or NHS in UK.

    • This was such a sad, yet realistic story. I was quite moved, emotionally at Sarah’s plight, wondering, as she did at the end, whether she wouldn’t have been better off not knowing of the lump, especially since there was no affordable medical treatment to be had. I wonder how many people try to self treat themselves in such a manner, only to cause worse damage to their bodies than the disease they are treating. For being a last minute submission, I am so impressed!

    • Kim replied 1 week ago

      A compelling read.
      I felt your protagonist’s bitterness at the system that was meant to improve her health and not plunge her and her family into a crisis.
      Unfortunately the system doesnt help those not in a position to afford the monthly premium – a sad reality for many.
      Well relayed!

    • Oh, I’m so enraged, once again, at the inequities in our system! Your story shows this in such a humane and honest manner. And the saddest of it all is that this happens in real life, all the time.
      You’ve chosen to focus on the most frustrating spot in the entire spectrum of wealth – what has been called the “missing middle” a few years back: those people who are just well-off enough not to be destitute, but certainly not in a position to bootstrap themselves out of poverty.
      This is a really good story, Stevie. I would make one suggestion: the big idea of “wellness” for the rich brings “illness” for the poor (especially that last line) – I think it would be even 10 times more powerful if it was inside a dialogue, i.e. if it was the direct words of one of the characters.

  • Stevie commented on the post, Taken by nainasays 1 month ago

    The repetition is great and works for this poem. Good work!

  • Thank you Beth 🙂

  • This is an interesting poem. I have felt the emotions of the MC with certain books. I liked how you said nail biting “and my nails dwindled” – that was really cool. A well written piece about being taken into the world of fiction.

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