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  • Well done and to the point, a closet Muslim in a Hindu household would be something. I want to read the next chapter.

  • Thank you for reading my story, James. I am glad that you enjoyed it. I had to cut nearly 300 words to make it under the word count, so it does seem a bit choppy in places. I would be so interested in your further thoughts.

  • He stretched. His body ached. He tried to turn over but felt constricted, his limbs couldn’t respond to the messages his foggy brain sent.

    He opened his eyes.

    Scratchy darkness.

    He found his arms and lifted t […]

    • I like it. A good story. It feels like the opening chapter to a bigger thing, and you have created two interesting characters with the man and dog. There are a few areas where wording could flow a little smoother, but on a whole, it reads well. I’d be happy to add comments on the few sentences that could be reworked and polished, but overall it is a well-written and enjoyable to read story. Good work.

    • Thank you for reading my story, James. I am glad that you enjoyed it. I had to cut nearly 300 words to make it under the word count, so it does seem a bit choppy in places. I would be so interested in your further thoughts.

    • Hi, Sophia! This was a tragic story with a heart-warming ending. It was exactly what it needed. I thought you did great in the details. The entire story was very easy to imagine. You appealed to the sight very well. I would have liked more appeals to the other senses, especially smell and touch. I also really felt for Nelson. Given a longer word count, I would love to see more development of him. Thanks so much for sharing!

  • Yes. I want to live in that community that is so creative and supportive of its vulnerable members.

  • What did Alice,

    facing

    the Looking Glass,

    wonder?

    When she pushed against the

    Glass

    did it strain at her touch or

    part

    easily

    a veil to the

    world

    unknown?

    Did she have a moments’

    hesitation?

    Or did i […]

    • Wonderful spin on the prompt and lovely phrasing in this poem, leaving me wondering how I had never wondered this myself. Typo I think in moments’ instead of moment’s hesitation. I like ‘did she imagine a cost’ which sets me thinking. And don’t we all indeed pass through the looking glass. Nicely done.

    • I love where you took this prompt, Sophia, deep into the mind and motivations of Alice and her looking glass. I like the whimsy and the pondering philosophy you pose.

    • Dear Sophia, this is indeed an intriguing interpretation of the prompt. You poem has a lovely use of metaphors and so aptly describes the way we are drawn to mystery and the unknown and at the same time have so that bit of doubts and fear nudging at us. I like the emphasis of “restless” and it sums up this atmosphere of the poem so well. Very enjoyable! 🙂

  • Interesting concept but a tad confusiong at times. I wanted more, so much more! Hard with a limited word count.

  • The energy was high. An undulating murmur floated along the air. The stage set was a simple backdrop, the familiar town skyline facing east and the nearby mountain range silhouetted in the background. Shifting […]

    • The Backstory smacks of realism – well told Sophia. I have to confess there was a lot happening, and I had to go back and check on the plans and conspiracies (similar to politics 😉 ). A worthy cause for a coalition – nice take on the prompt

    • I loved the sense of community running through your entire story, Sophia! Good take on the prompt, and a well-done story. Surprisingly, I remembered reading your previous story about Devas Dancers – was it in 2018? I just wondered – if you had to end the story with the curtains rolling up or something like that, it would maybe loop nicely with your energetic vibe at the beginning? Hoping to read more of your stories in 2020 🙂

    • An excellent take on the prompt, and just the sort of thing that can happen in a community. Well told.

    • Yes. I want to live in that community that is so creative and supportive of its vulnerable members.

    • I loved the way you brought out Coalition in the story… nice take on it. The beginning was a bit “slow” to read but once I got to the middle I was drawn in. It is a lovely community and, yes I would want to live there.

  • It’s the season of Samhain (Dia-De-Los-Muetres, Halloween), a time of mystery when the veil between the living and the dead thins. A time when those who have crossed over can approach the living; whisper in our e […]

    • Really Good. You have crafted a Ghost Story that is inspiring rather than spooky. I really enjoyed reading this. Perfect for this time of year.

    • Such a lovely story, Sophia. It’s lyrical and rhythmic and makes me long for my Dad, who passed away two years ago. Well done and good luck!

    • What an interesting take on the prompt and Samhain, one of 4 seasonal festivals in the Celtic calendar. Well done. Good luck, Paul

  • Kudos! This is a triumph of the soul. Thank you for your courage and your tenacity to come through the fires to the reality of Love.
    I am so happy for you and so grateful that you are willing to share your journey with us. We are truly blessed by your presence and your work.

  • “Why didn’t you tell me I was free to go earlier,” said Cinderella

    The fairy godmother said, “…I am here to help people but they have to ask…”

    Cinderella Liberator by Rebecca Solnit, 2019

    It’s Rudimentary

    As […]

    • So true, and so well said! I think these lines most resonate with me (as my own inner truth): We fret, we pretend/We do what we can
      Nice work, Sophie.

    • That’s lovely. I like the message (so true) as well as the beat/rhythm.

    • Jane replied 8 months ago

      Really enjoyed your poem Sophie, what a simple and elegant message you spread. If only we learnt to ask for help when needed! Well done.

    • I love that it grew from the quote at the beginning. You’ve really captured the essence of it!

  • This is a sweet story and I am always pleased to find strong women.
    You leave out a few details that might make the story easier to follow, however. I wonder why Freya felt the urge to leave. Where would she go? Was there someone, something she was going to? What was wrong with where she was?

    In the end we find out that she is going back to…[Read more]

  • I loved your story and found it flowed smoothly, captured my attention. I enjoyed the relationship between the woman and mountain cat. I followed the beginning of the battle but soon it got overwhelming, although I am a bit of a wuss when it comes to these things.
    Still in was potent to meet a woman warrior who is also tender with her companion.…[Read more]

  • “All I really need is a song in my heart/ food in my belly/love in my family…”

    Rafi’s song fills the air. The younger kids dance around the small-but-comfy house singing in their comical off-key way. The ten yea […]

    • How precious! Children, family, pandemonium, and life lessons, all wrapped in a short but lovely package. Bravo! I love this.

    • Jan replied 8 months ago

      Dear Sophie,

      This warms the heart like the wood-stove in the first paragraph! This was so precious and beautifully executed with so much going on in under 500 words. I miss my parents after reading this 🙂

      “double digit authority” – this is very original and will stay with me.

      Thank you for your contribution and well done!

    • Seyi replied 8 months ago

      Hi Sophie and thanks for some excellent short story telling. Your writing is very descriptive and the happy bedlam that goes with life in a close-knit family comes through loud and clear. I did wonder about the sentence “His Dad’s eyes met mine over the children’s heads.” Made me wonder if Max was not the narrator’s biological child. Perhaps if you dropped teh word “His” from teh beginning, that would take care of any ambiguity? Do feel free to ignore this suggestion if it does not work. Thanks for a very heart-warming story and very best regards, Seyi

  • This is what I see as I look over your story again. You don’t need to omit any of the details, they all work well to build your story, but there are a lot of extraneous words throughout. If you tighten upo your work, you will find that you have ample words to make your point.
    For instance,..
    “Serena, my only sibling, was a beautiful infant, too.…[Read more]

  • AW, lovely! Thank you for the easy ending.
    You captured the essence of emotion really well. The sense of betrayal from the husband; the desperation of having to accept the younger girlfriend; the feeling of being left out by the neighbours; the affirmation of ‘I can do it!’; the embarassment of failing; the shoring up of oneself in the face of…[Read more]

  • I wondered if Carley was pregnant.

    I totally agree with much of what SM Prasad has said. The tension keeps the reader engaged; theaccumulation of hints of Skylar’s connection with Carley’s experience really works; and I literally cheered (internally) when Skylar went with integrity rather than convenience.
    You might consider showing more of…[Read more]

  • I just love your story!I, too, enjoy retellings of traditional fairy tales and this one hits the spot.
    I wonder if you want to make a comment about the familiarity of the *robot’s* voice. Just to make the connection clearer. But that’s your call now, isn’t it.

  • Hi Carolyn,
    Your story is compelling and very well told. I totally understood and sympathized with Kyle. Serena needed a bit more filling out for me. For instance, how did she know about the drug ring? And what has happened to her? Is she dying? Of what? does it have anything to do with the drug ring?
    How much time has passed between Klye…[Read more]

  • Whboops, that *should* have read ‘Nurse’ not Norse!

  • Fabulous concept, Fran. A very well done and compelling read. The touch at the end of the daughter’s note was brilliant. As a person well over 50, you had be quaking in my boots!

    One question, towards the beginning and at places throughout you capitalize the roles people play (Doctor, Norse, Daughter) and then at other times you don’t. It might…[Read more]

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Sophia Bonnie Wodin

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@sophia

active 4 months, 1 week ago