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  • Thanks Amy Rae. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I hadn’t thought of the shooting on that movie set but you’re right, it could make quite a thriller.

  • What a lovely compliment – that you are so invested in the story that you enjoy playing with the characters yourself. Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate the comments and suggestions.

  • Thanks for reading Jane. I appreciate your kind words.

  • Thanks Nina. I appreciate you reading my story and the lovely comments.

  • Thanks Sharmayne. I appreciate you reading my story and your comments. I liked your idea. I’ll have to ponder it to see how it would work.

  • What a wonderful job you did teasing out the differences between these two. I feel sorry for poor Nathan but kept yelling at him in my mind to stop basing his life on anyone. He’s going to be so disappointed when Kat asks along someone else. I don’t think they view life the same at all.

    Great job on your first short story!

  • Thanks so much Barbara. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you reading and commenting. I’m thinking about the suggestions you and Becky made to see how I might have done it differently.

  • Thanks, Becky. I’m glad you liked it. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments. I’m pondering your idea to see what I might change. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

  • I really enjoyed your story Susanne. This was perfect for this time of year. I can certainly relate to wanting to ditch all the hype and enjoy a quiet holiday without frantic preparations. I liked that you took each tradition and skewered it. I do think it was reminiscent of Moon – the getting down to business approach. Very fun read!

  • What a beautiful, sad tale. One holiday a year for the love of your life. I can’t imagine the torture. I thought you had a wonderful pace for the story – taking time for setting the scene and giving us insight into both characters. Wonderful job, Sharmayne. I really enjoyed the read.

  • What a wonderful story. I really enjoyed the read Mike. I liked that you didn’t make your MC be the biggest, smartest, etc. He was an everyday guy meeting a Princess. Wow! You did a great job on building up the story. He had a good reason for traveling – over with his friends. And they met once and enjoyed their conversation, setting up the…[Read more]

  • It was good to read about the Detective again. He stoicism in the face of such tragedy is remarkable. I don’t know how he could be anything but and do his job. I really loved the line “Freedom works in tandem with safety and they both prefer daylight.” I found it a bit heart-wrenching considering the circumstances. And the two children across the…[Read more]

  • It was great reading about Polly again. She is a very interesting character. I never thought of what she did as “aiding those looking to cross the River Styx. ” You did a great job of building the picture of their relationship and how Arthur was part of her growth in her chosen field. I was glad to have a bit more time to get to know Polly in this story.

  • Great story Barbara. I loved the way you lead us to what was happening slowly, setting the scene just right and building on it. The description of the crystals – for the layman – as a tacky Swarovski habit, made me laugh. I’m invested in the story now and it has me wanting to find out what the potion does and how it will help.

  • As an inveterate list maker, I can feel this woman’s pain. I loved the way the list kept growing despite constantly marking things off. This was a different way to tell a story that I ended up really enjoying. And her husband’s advice at the end made me laugh out loud.

  • Great story Amy Rae. I loved the vivid descriptions of their lives there. Very imaginative. Have a great holiday!

  • This could be a conversation in most any family I’ve known. There’s always a Gwyn to contend with. I wonder, though, if the Mom won’t surprise them all. I think you bring all that family conflict out beautifully in the dialogue between these two characters. I’m increasingly impressed with your ability to communicate so much through the use of…[Read more]

  • In town for the evening, cowboys, farmers and the like line the bar and mingle throughout the smoke-filled saloon. One table stands out by its silence and the somber mood of its occupants; each gamester, holding […]

    • Hi Shelley, This is great! I love how the beginning pulled me in and I slowly got to see the reality of the setting–layers of a onion. I think you have done a really good job with maintaining present tense in this story. I like the ghost-visit (and the slight resemblance of it to Scrooge’s ghost of Holliday past–brilliant) , and the moral. Because I know you welcome constructive feedback, I wonder if there’s a better way to end the story? I did appreciate the story even more after explicitly being told the moral, but I wonder if you could show it to us within the story itself somehow? I dont know how–would have to think about it some more. And maybe your other readers would disagree. All in all, a great story.

      • Thanks, Becky. I’m glad you liked it. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments. I’m pondering your idea to see what I might change. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

    • What an original use of the prompt – well done. Lucky Chris getting the inside take on his character. I’ve thought about what Becky said about the ending and I was wondering if it would have more weight if perhaps Chris had shown arrogance at the start and believed he knew all there was to know about Doc Holliday? Just a thought. I loved the picture of Chris racing down the stairs wielding an umbrella! I’m glad he got awards for his efforts. Very enjoyable.

      • Thanks so much Barbara. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you reading and commenting. I’m thinking about the suggestions you and Becky made to see how I might have done it differently.

    • A great story and take on the prompt. You set the scene so clearly that I was immediately pulled into the story. I loved the ghost visitation and Chris’ openness. If you wanted to tweak the ending, perhaps show Chris at the awards night and hearing his name called. Just a thought. Congratulations on an intriguing and well written story.

      • Thanks Sharmayne. I appreciate you reading my story and your comments. I liked your idea. I’ll have to ponder it to see how it would work.

    • Oh I love where you went with this story. That last line is epic. I’m saving it as a reminder. So nice to be reading you again.

    • Hi Shelley, Enjoyed your story, a great take on the prompt. I like that the actor took his craft so seriously and that he wasn’t at all put off by the fact that a ghost was mentoring him on how to do things better:) Thanks for sharing.

    • Shelley I had a peek at this and loved reading it. The twist at the beginning was awesome, and I actually loved the ‘moral of the story’ at the end, which felt very inkeeping with the Western genre. Maybe the final three sentences do pack a lot in and might have been better “shown”. Could he have been giving advice to a younger actor or some such?
      My favourite detail: the cough and the sip of whiskey that tells Chris what he needs to do. Would have loved a more psychological detail too – maybe something about his ‘tell’?
      You can tell it’s been a lot of fun reading this – I’m already imagining writing it!

      • What a lovely compliment – that you are so invested in the story that you enjoy playing with the characters yourself. Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate the comments and suggestions.

    • I like the moral to this story. I appreciate how you had many layers to this story, 3 characters who are all the same character ha
      This makes me think also of the accidental shootingon the site of the western movie set and feel like they could be twisted together for quite the thriller

      • Thanks Amy Rae. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I hadn’t thought of the shooting on that movie set but you’re right, it could make quite a thriller.

  • Thanks so much for your comments and suggestions Paul. I’ll start looking a bit more for those repeated words – it looks like that would be a good way to get my word count down too 😉
    You make some great suggestions and I’ll definitely put those to good use. I’m eager to learn and happy when I get info that will help me to do that. Thanks for reading!

  • Thanks for reading and your comments Barbara. That part about the father resonated with me too. I agree with you about the past tense – I haven’t tackled it yet but plan to make those changes soon. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

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Shelley North

Profile picture of Shelley North

@slnorth

Active 1 week, 6 days ago
Short Story : 3
Poetry : 0
52 Scenes 2022 : 0