A great story Ana, and I love the image of him becoming a paper man. That’s so well done. Terrific imagery as well. I really enjoyed your story. Well done.

That’s very generous of you Ana. Thank you for taking the time to read it and give me that feedback.

Thanks for taking the time to read it Susan. Appreciate it.

This is a terrific story Susan. Congratulations. The setting, the characters, the suspense and the weirdness were compelling. This is a highly polished and well crafted story. Send it off somewhere. It deserves a larger audience. Bravo!

A great and devious twist and there’s so much to explore in this story. I liked the parallels of the protagonist and her grandmother’s story, and you created a great setting. Well done Linda.

Thanks for taking the time to read it and for the feedback, Linda. Much appreciated.

Thanks June, I really appreciate that.

I really enjoyed this June. You did a great job painting a clear picture of a neighbourhood and its different personalities. I also thought your protagonist was realistic and I too loved the ‘Yappee’ line and the way you finished with that as well. Well done.

Thanks Jane, appreciate you reading it.

Thanks for your feedback Richard, appreciate it.

Thanks so much June. That’s great feedback and I really appreciate it. Very helpful.

Thanks Megan. Appreciate you reading it.

Wow, I’m tempted myself. Well done June on creating a smooth and compelling story. I interpreted your last line to show that she let the heady fragrance escape as a way of resisting temptation, and hope that’s what you intended. Congratulations on a great story. I hope you submit it for publication.

Great ending. The missing businessman on the TV news is such a great touch. One very small suggestion to think about is removing the second time you used the word ‘violet’ as I thought ‘mesmerising’ worked well the second time. The suspense in your story built so smoothly. Congratulations on creating such a chilling and visual story.

Well done on the internal dialogue. I was really inside your protagonist’s head the whole time and would have loved him to have said hi to at least one of the men he was shyly eyeing. Congratulations on creating such a realistic character.

Wow, what a killer ending! I didn’t suspect the identity of the man on the platform until the very end. Congratulations on creating such a powerful story with such a great shock factor.