Wow, such a visual and suspenseful story with the intrigue starting from the very beginning. The dialogue was great, as was the setting. I could see this as a movie or television series. I wasn’t sure why the kids were being shot at, but that didn’t lessen that edge-of-my-seat feeling. Small suggestions would be change ‘O’ to ‘Oh’ and also have…[Read more]

Wow that really surprised me. You started by throwing me right into the middle of some terrifying action and then I became confused because I couldn’t quite work out what was happening. The reveal of your main character being a dog was great and I can’t tell you how relieved I am to find there was a happy ending. Thanks for a great read.

Thanks so much Yerushah. I thought I had replied, but maybe I didn’t hit ‘comment’. Really appreciate you taking the time to read it. Looking forward to reading your story.

Thanks so much Bogdana, really appreciate your feedback. Believe me, there wasn’t much thought in this. In fact, I was writing it thinking how am I going to make this match the prompt! Looking forward to reading your story. Thanks again.

Great story and I loved the second person narration. That’s a hard thing to pull off, but you did it superbly. I really felt your MC’s frustration and that feeling of being frazzled came across strongly. Congratulations!

Thanks so much, appreciate your feedback. Good on ya Mate 😉

Thanks so much, appreciate you reading it and your feedback. Good on ya Mate 😉

Thanks so much Lucian.

Thanks very much for your feedback Nina.

Thanks so much Ruth. I like your idea of changing the ending. I intend to rewrite this story as it’s not what I want yet, so I’ll definitely play with the ending. Thanks again; really appreciate your feedback. Now for a 2500 word story (aargh). I might do some WTC as a way to procrastinate, or I might just clean the kitchen (again).

Haha I KNOW. Don’t you love it when you submit and then re-read and find a typo. The word was ‘smacking’ in my head. Thanks very much for your feedback Charles; really appreciate it.

Thanks very much Deryn. I wasn’t really happy with it actually; too much exposition so it’s on my rewrite list. That’s the benefit of this wonderful group though, isn’t it. Glad you picked up on the intention of humour. Really appreciate your feedback.

Well done on creating a great story. I fell for your characters straight away and was desperate for them to get together. I agree with Kim in that the pre-empt reduced some of that delicious anticipation that you built so well. Your setting is very believable and I too loved the reference to Playtex, as well as that Audrey wants to leave her…[Read more]

That was terrific fun. I loved the voices of your characters and the way they spoke around each other. I don’t have any constructive feedback Ruth. Thanks for the really fun read.