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  • Susan O'Neal and Profile picture of NinaNina are now friends 1 month ago

  • Hi Peggy – the others have said all I would say – the ‘Mateo missing’ kept me wondering and upped the tension so it was a surprise when he appeared with no problem. I see that you had plans for that but not enough words (don’t you hate it when that happens?) As Charles says – maybe it’s not finished. I look forward to finding out! Merry Christmas…[Read more]

  • Hi Peggy – lovely feedback, thanks for this! I’ve had the photo saved for so long that I can’t remember where it came from now (sadly.) Probably a newsfeed, I often snag things that make me do a double take… Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. Here’s to 2022 and more fun writing for all of us.

  • Thank you very much Ana! Glad you liked it.

  • Hi Maria – I understand your rush to finish (hope the vet had some ideas to help your dog) and Jane has covered the editing points but I liked the tension between Andy and his wife: it was well done and I could feel myself empathising with each in turn – what a situation! I love it that our alien is so polite with his ‘Excuse me’ opener. Your…[Read more]

  • Hi June. Glad to know that the little story set various ideas running! I had another picture saved (but can’t find it now) of a little yellow car that also had a pickaxe embedded in its bonnet. Sounds altogether unlikely, but there we are! We live in interesting times…

  • Thank you Maria, I appreciate your comments. I am old enough to remember when Crimplene first came out – it seemed such a good idea – but it’s really not…

  • Hi Terri. Beautifully written, avoiding all the clichés. I found this a very tender piece and liked the transition from the wide view of the prosaic shift end and cheap house wine, to the intense world of the encounter. I stumbled a bit around ‘until she swollen to burst’ and I think there’s a word or two missing there, but that’s easy to edit.…[Read more]

  • Thanks Teresa. I’m glad it kept you wondering, (and I do like a bit of inevitable justice for the wrong ‘uns.)

  • Thank you Georgiana. I think there may be rocky times ahead for Russ… Happy Christmas to you too

  • June, this is a Christmas cracker of a story. I loved it that Ted could use his ‘little problem’ to amuse the children so marvellously and you told it in such a matter-of-fact way that the story moved along at just the right pace. My favourite line is “…Ted, the residue of his recent emission wafting out from under his coat as he shrugged it…[Read more]

  • Delightfully warm story, well set-up and then explored. As Susanne remarked, your dialogue is very good, totally authentic in style and carries the story along at a delightful pace. I really enjoyed this one.

  • Oh I loved this Ruth. I very nearly caught on when I read ‘Hen’ at the beginning and then I thought, no, don’t be silly, it can’t be. Only when I got to the end I realised you had me – they were the turkeys! I had to go straight back and read it all again to understand how you did it and it was all in there, I’d just missed it. Very cleverly done…[Read more]

  • Hi Ruth. Thanks for reading and I absolutely see what you mean about that ‘after’. It’s a colloquialism round here but could easily be misconstrued – I’m changing it right away. I wasn’t at all sure this story would work, but when I found that photo on the internet, I had to give it a try. I have no idea what the real story is, but it’s just ODD.…[Read more]

  • Awww! This one made me smile. A lot. Perfect festive story, thank you Georgiana!

  • There was me and Big Reg chasing the courier job and I snatched it from under his nose, the despatcher owed me a favour. There’s no love lost between me and Reg, and this job paid really, really well.I had plans f […]

    • Jeepers! This gives Santa’s naughty list a whole new meaning! Another great, pacey story with lots of mystery and intrigue. You always seem to be able to keep that momentum flowing at a tremendous rate. Lots of sinister undertones here and you have great skill in dropping just enough ‘hints’ here and there – that you don’t even notice are hints until they’ve clicked into place later on. The Queen of Aha! lol
      If I had one suggestion, I would change the ‘after’ in the first sentence to ‘chasing’ (or something similar. Just one of those quirky things which might ONLY be me, but I had to read that sentence half a dozen times until I realised what was happened – I kept understanding the ‘after’ as ‘when the job was finished’ … in other words, it was just me and Reg once the courier job had finished …… and then the rest of the sentence didn’t make any sense haha Semantics 🙂 A wonderful gem to finish off the story year. Looking forward to Jan already. Merry Christmas x

    • Hi Ruth. Thanks for reading and I absolutely see what you mean about that ‘after’. It’s a colloquialism round here but could easily be misconstrued – I’m changing it right away. I wasn’t at all sure this story would work, but when I found that photo on the internet, I had to give it a try. I have no idea what the real story is, but it’s just ODD. I would like being ‘the Queen of Aha ‘- that’s brilliant, thank you!! Merry Christmas to you too x.

    • That’s quite a photo prompt! You did a great job fashioning the story around it! “ ‘What’s been going on then, Russ?’ she said.” Seriously Russ, enjoy your tea…..
      Love it. Merry. Christmas Susan!

    • Loved it! Great suspense served up with a generous portion of serves you right. I was wondering all through about different options, illicit drug delivery, mafia, even letter bomb at the end. What an adrenaline rush!

    • Hi Susan,
      Great story with a twist I didn’t see coming. The pace of the story kept me gripped all the way through. I loved the little bit of humour along the way . The phrase ‘gigantic crimplene-covered turtle’ will stay with me for quite a while. Thanks for a very entertaining read.

      • Thank you Maria, I appreciate your comments. I am old enough to remember when Crimplene first came out – it seemed such a good idea – but it’s really not…

    • Hi Susan. This is a great, fast-paced story. I had all sorts of possibilities running around in my head all the way through the story. I love that you gave the ‘axes in the bonnet of the car’ theme an extra good punch, by putting another one in his own car as well. 🙂 Well done and thank you for sharing.

      • Hi June. Glad to know that the little story set various ideas running! I had another picture saved (but can’t find it now) of a little yellow car that also had a pickaxe embedded in its bonnet. Sounds altogether unlikely, but there we are! We live in interesting times…

    • Hi Susan,
      that’s a brilliant wrap-up for a highly suspenseful story. The frenzied rhythm is addictive, and the noir tone is right up my alley. Great one!

    • What I want to know is, what keywords did you search for that resulted in such an image? It’s definitely a thought provoking image, and your imaginative story does it true justice! I so enjoyed your story, I love the way you doled it out, with little hints and clues about the MCs character (Queen of Aha indeed!) Your humor clearly shines through in this piece, as well as your mastery at storytelling. Well done and thanks for sharing.

      • Hi Peggy – lovely feedback, thanks for this! I’ve had the photo saved for so long that I can’t remember where it came from now (sadly.) Probably a newsfeed, I often snag things that make me do a double take… Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. Here’s to 2022 and more fun writing for all of us.

  • Hi Estelle. This was a rattling good read and I thought you captured the voice of the main character just perfectly. I enjoyed reading the delightful relationship between this boy and his Great Grandpa, with the underlying story of how much he missed him. I didn’t quite understand the reveal about Doc Holiday and had to look it up but that didn’t…[Read more]

  • Thanks for the feedback Carolyn, glad you enjoyed it!

  • Thanks for reading Jessica, and for commenting. it’s always helpful to know which bits worked well. Glad you liked it!

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Susan O'Neal

Profile picture of Susan O'Neal

@mimi-oneal

Active 6 days, 23 hours ago
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