• This is beautiful, Stevie. As I read I felt the excitement you were portraying. Lovely words, lovely images. My favourite line: ‘a stomach flipping smile’. Well done and thank you for sharing.

  • Thank you, Charles. Lovely comments.

  • Thank you for reading and for your lovely comments, Nina.

  • Thank you, Pam, for your comments and for showing me that this is a ‘tryptic.’ So, an acrostic, tryptic is what I’ve written. Thanks for reading.

  • Thank you for reading, Stevie.

  • Thank you, for your lovely comments.

  • I think the words your monster ‘reduced to fragments / and a frustrating pulp’ have worked very well here. I’m glad he left you those. Well done and thank you for sharing.

  • I love the way the rhythm of your poem reads just like Robert Frost’s, and how his last line fitted so perfectly into your poem. ‘And that has made all the difference.’ Very clever, altogether. Well done and thanks for sharing.

  • I love how this poem unfolds from an idea, revealing itself in full bloom by the end. This is my favourite line and says it all: ‘A poet’s whimsy hidden in plain sight’. Well done and thank you for sharing.

  • I love this skinny poem, Pam. The double entendre title is excellent . You’ve said a huge amount with so few words. Well done!

  • It was the photo that drew me in to read this poem, Mary Lou, and I’m so glad I did. The staccato lines really slam the point across. Thank you for sharing and well done.

  • Norman

    Never will I hold or see you again.

    Only photos and memories remain.

    Races run with knobbly knees.

    Music made from biscuit caddies.

    Abracadabra! We did a magic show.

    No one told me you’d be the f […]

    • Oh, June, I’m so sorry for your losses – here captured so well and so poignantly in so few words. There’s nothing one can add to this. It is your expression of loss, and it is perfect as is.

    • This is incredibly sad and yet a beautiful piece of work. This line “Tumours and turmoil wrenched us apart” is the lynchpin that explains it all….. I feel the pain, the grief and sadness of the sister left behind.

    • Your first poem about Norman describes the young you and him so well – the fun you shared and the last line is devastating.
      The second poem about Paul is so lonely and sad. In only four lines that spell his name you tell the tragic story of his end.
      The words you use in third poem leave nothing except tremendous grief.
      Respect for your clarity and honesty. I imagine writing this tryptic was cathartic. A profound take on the prompt.

      • Thank you, Pam, for your comments and for showing me that this is a ‘tryptic.’ So, an acrostic, tryptic is what I’ve written. Thanks for reading.

    • Your imagery of knobbly knees and magic shows in the first stanza and the cold dark of the second are powerful. Expecting to turn and see you both there. Devastating losses. A beautiful poem.

    • Hello June. First of all, I am sorry for your losses. I was deeply moved by the vulnerability and the grief you convey in these three pieces. It’s overwhelming yet, at the same, beautiful how you describe these two connections and the void left inside the heart after by their absences. As Pam did, I also noticed how each piece deals with specific things and I like how the use of acrostics renders them into more intimate pieces. The ‘Expecting to turn and see you both there.’ broke me. It’s so visual and so heartbreaking. I feel humbled by having been able to read this piece you share with us. Hugs.

    • Such a sad sad poem, June. I am so sorry for your losses. Your words brought tears to my eyes – I lost a brother fifty years ago and still am unable to read aloud any of the pieces I have written about him. Your words say it all, and the rhymes underline the intensity of emotion. Thank you for sharing it with us.

  • I need to add that your choice of photo is excellent. I remember standing in line in the Autumn sun in 1994 waiting to vote. It was a happy, fun time and nobody seemed to care that it took three hours or more to get to the front of the line. Your pic is reminiscent of that, yet it is a queue for food parcels. So very different. So very sad.

  • Oh Hanri, this is such a heartfelt poem. ‘Cry, Mzanzi, Cry’ indeed. I can almost taste the tears in these verses. This is my favourite line: ‘the tripod of our precarious poise’. So telling. Thank you for sharing this poem.

  • I love the fairy tale language of the story you have weaved, Michael. Your description of the rain and the handiwork performed by the aunt is exquisite. You’ve created a world of warm and cosy imagery in this piece, as well as intrigue. Well done and thank you for sharing.

  • Thank you for your lovely comments, Chantelle. Speaking from experience, I can safely say the protagonist is a she. :-))

  • Hi Tapan. Thank you for your comments. I think you might be reading some things into the story that I had not intended. No, Chuck wasn’t trying to put her career in jeopardy. No he didn’t know her weaknesses. No he wasn’t related to anyone she knew. I don’t think I’ve implied any of that in the story. At least I hope I haven’t.

  • Thanks, Debbie. I missed that punctuation error, so thanks for pointing it out. I love your comment ‘didn’t just suck it up’. Which is exactly what the snorter would have sounded like. Ha!

  • I really felt for this character, Debbie. Excellent portrayal of pain, shame, depression and just giving up.
    This puzzled me though: ‘new-mom memories ‘. Could this person have recently lost a child and this is the reason she overeats? Having read back over some of the other comments, I see Adam has already left her, although she hasn’t…[Read more]

  • Hi Carolyn. This is an intriguing story with a very different approach – hot air ballooning and twins. I have to say, I had to go back and read it a second time in order to try to make sense of who was who. Got very confused between Rena and Romie and, although I understood they were twins, I also had to think hard about who Sarah and Bekka…[Read more]

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June Hunter

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