• Hi Nina – Please let the prompt lend itself then…! Thanks for passing by!

  • Hi Seyi, thank you so much – I confess to drawing on bits and pieces of real life. Now I’ve told you, I’ll have to kill you…

  • Hi Megan – thanks, I didn’t necessarily intend to take it past ‘Foundation’ but ‘The Gift’ was a gift!! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  • Nope, Kim, I think Pete’s toast!! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  • After she discovered the email revealing his affair with Jen, all hell broke loose. Hauling herself up from the floor of their study, she gathered up the pieces of the email that she had shredded in her fury, […]

    • hell hath no fury… and all that

      don’t see how Pete is going to get himself outa this mess…

      good one – very compelling

      • Nope, Kim, I think Pete’s toast!! Thanks for reading and commenting!

    • I love this thread. I love how you are working through it in a timeline and exploring the different phases of it.

      • Hi Megan – thanks, I didn’t necessarily intend to take it past ‘Foundation’ but ‘The Gift’ was a gift!! Thanks for reading and commenting!

    • Eish, Pete, Pete, Pete. Even more clueless? This is very realistic writing. I like the bit where she realizes she had torn up the offending e-mail and painstakingly puts it together. Well done with this and very best regards, Seyi

      • Hi Seyi, thank you so much – I confess to drawing on bits and pieces of real life. Now I’ve told you, I’ll have to kill you…

    • Oooooh can’t wait until tomorrow 😉

      • Hi Nina – Please let the prompt lend itself then…! Thanks for passing by!

  • Eish, indeed, Seyi…In the words of Laurel & Hardy – here’s another fine mess you got us into!! Thanks for dropping by! D

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  • Hi Chloe this is excellent! I was gripped even at the teaser and immediately wanted to read more. I love pictre of the detective trying not to roll his eyes! Great characters and dialogue – and story line. Well done!

  • Hi Martin – Not sure being so obtuse works for me which is a shame because I like the concept. I thought maybe the wife was disabled and he was getting her in to the garden? I liked the dialogue with the nosy neighbour and the MC’s thought bubble! Did wonder about the machine ‘ hissing’ in the opening tho…airbrakes maybe? All just a little odd…

  • Hi Dionne – I also liked the Jenga analogy. The concept of it coming crashing down so you can rebuild is a very valid one, but because it seems so overwhelming, we carry on wobbling indefinitely instead. (spoken from experience!) A couple of edit remarks – ‘something happened along the way or (the) game was getting more difficult, to(o) many holes…[Read more]

  • Wow Beth. This is a poignant little slice of life. The last line packs a real punch. Love the concept of the ‘ in this together’ between the kids that are always inevitably caught in the middle of separations/divorce. Really excellent.

  • Hi Marilyn this is a cute little story, and the accompanying picture is perfect!

  • Haha Hi Sue – your disdain for all things make up is brilliantly portrayed! I must say, during this lockdown, make up free, I am beginning to review foundation and all the other lotions and potions that go on top and underneath!! Well done on making me smile!!

  • Hi Joseph – I wonder where the conflict between the 2 comes from? What is the theme here? The house or the relationship between the 2 men? Is it just good natured banter or something else? Was intrigued with the story.
    Just a couple of edits…You mush choose… should read must and What might work should be That might work (I assume)

  • Hi Timaeus ! Have to admit it made me smile the thought that someone had wasted and poured a mass of concrete into a hole meant for a pool! I blame the foreman!! Having gone through 3 major home renovations I can feel the exasperation of the building contractor! Well done!

  • Hi Michael – I went to school with identical twins that we always called Twinny (both of them) until one of our teachers, herself a twin, gave us all a good talking to about individuality, so I applaud your approach with your boys. Parenting is not for cissies and it sounds as if you and your wife more than rose to the occasion, so well done (on…[Read more]

  • Hi Will – Hawkswood’s discomfort is palpable but I think I would have liked to see that explored far more, sweaty palms, beating heart, etc and make that the focus of the piece. His speech about the foundation of the city can be incidental and the vehicle to describe his utter terror at public speaking. A great story concept well done, nevertheless.

  • Hi Adam – this is a really sensory piece – from pushing the chair back specifically with his calves, to the actual sensation of the quake. I love the ‘ carpet became a turkey trot’ – I was in Greece one summer when we had a series of distinctive tremors and I was living at the top of a building that literally swayed. It is a very scary…[Read more]

  • Hi Anne
    And Persephone and Hades lived happily ever after ruling the underworld! Nice descriptions and imagery here, well done!

  • Hi Shae – I thought I saw on the FB page that you were stopping writing on the theme of COVID19,.. or did this story pre date your decision? The Foundation prompt is a little tenuously used here but the sense of ‘ all in it together’ is well portrayed. Now on to other topics!

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Deryn

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