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  • I sniffed the air discreetly and could tell that while some children were human, most of them were ‘other’. It wasn’t just pups surrounding me but a variety of paranormals, and they all had two things in commo […]

    • Could imagine the setting and all the children around. Great raising the suspense.
      Might be one or two misplaced commas, but I’m lucky if that’s all I would have.

    • Is this part of a bigger story? I want to know more, especially who belongs to those eyes. I love this description: “That tilt to the head and fierce features that made you want to make them happy.” While reading, I felt like I was in the same place as your MC. I thought you did a great job of keeping the suspense going throughout. I enjoyed reading your story.

  • Thank you very much, I just posted the next instalment from the other character’s perspective, I am having a lot of fun so far and letting the characters drive the story.

  • Thank you Michael really appreciate the feedback

  • Hi Neta, thank you very much, it is very encouraging, I am glad you liked it. I plan to continue, probably with the next prompt. I am really enjoying my characters and their interactions.

  • The flight was uneventful, nothing to distract me from my nerves. The car ride was long and exhausting. Lili and my pack decided to tag along with me. The unknown situation I was walking in made us all weary. I […]

    • Hi Celine,

      I want more!! Yes, at the end I repeated “what the hell?” Downright captivating and enthralling. You build the suspense wonderfully and I was devouring every word in haste… Please continue working on this piece. Very nice indeed.

    • Hi Neta, thank you very much, it is very encouraging, I am glad you liked it. I plan to continue, probably with the next prompt. I am really enjoying my characters and their interactions.

  • I scanned the bustling pub around me, but there was no sign of my friend. It was always busy on a Sunday night. People were excited for the pub quiz and it helped smooth over the fact that they would go back into […]

    • Hi Celine, this is a wonderful world you have quickly built which draws me in to find out more of how the story goes. It is like a great start to something more. Your descriptions bring the pictures to life of what the place looks like and feels like. Great job. Thank you for your story.

      • Thank you very much, I just posted the next instalment from the other character’s perspective, I am having a lot of fun so far and letting the characters drive the story.

    • A few minor typos do not spoil another great episode.

      I know it’s not always easy to find those pesky words, but I suspect that a few extra minutes before submission, or even a re-read before hitting submit on the story when adding it in here would iron most of them out.

      This is building into an intriguing tale, with characters and groups already in conflict and huge scope for future adventures. Keep it up.

      Thanks for sharing.

  • Thank you very Juanita, really appreciate it. I hope to turn this into a novel or novella one day. And I will definitely continue if I can with a different prompt if it fits the story

  • Thanks Michael for your comment. I definitely will make time to revise it as I plan to make this into a novella or novel one day. I didn’t pause and take time to do it before publishing here as I hadn’t been able to write for a while and wrote this on the day of the deadline. I knew if I took the time to revise, I would never hit send.

  • Sorry Amy to only write back. Thank you very much for your comment. This is definitely a story I want to explore more. I know where it is going and I will try to continue it on a different prompt if it works.

  • Michael vK and Profile picture of Celine PouponCeline Poupon are now friends 4 months ago

  • “Huh.” I woke up with a start, my heart pounding. I looked around the room looking for what could have woken me up. I wasn’t a light sleeper, so it must have been big but I couldn’t see anything, between the dar […]

    • This was a good read! It flowed very well and kept me interested. It made me want to read more and know what the “pack” is and what is happening. Great writing! You have a few spots where words were missing but you already mentioned that it wasn’t editted. Thanks for sharing this! I would love to read what happens next!

      • Sorry Amy to only write back. Thank you very much for your comment. This is definitely a story I want to explore more. I know where it is going and I will try to continue it on a different prompt if it works.

    • Shifters and packs give us a great clue as to what is going on here, but I still want to read more.

      You should try and make the time to tweak the few minor errors, it would make a big difference to the flow.

      Here’s an obvious one I spotted:
      “a light squeak living him before he could speak” – I think it should be “leaving” him.

      Thanks for sharing.

      • Thanks Michael for your comment. I definitely will make time to revise it as I plan to make this into a novella or novel one day. I didn’t pause and take time to do it before publishing here as I hadn’t been able to write for a while and wrote this on the day of the deadline. I knew if I took the time to revise, I would never hit send.

    • Same here — I’d like to know what happens next, who these people are, and what the Pack and the inheritance are. You have definitely aroused my curiosity! I hope you do write more. I didn’t notice much that you needed to revise. I thought it was well written and intriguing.

      • Thank you very Juanita, really appreciate it. I hope to turn this into a novel or novella one day. And I will definitely continue if I can with a different prompt if it fits the story

  • Oh and Jamie is a were-fox and witch and Ethan is a witch. He is sorry for pulling Ethan (the POV character) into his mess

  • I quite enjoyed this story, the poetry in it is what did it for me. Loved the mystical aspect of it. Great job

  • I enjoyed this very much, the carefree fun of a young child. It was a great short story

  • Very interesting story. Really sucked me in, now I need to know more 😁

  • Hi Maria, it’s a continuity of the previous 6 stories for this year. We meet Ethan in story 2. Jamie is running away from his uncle and he is a were-fox and witch. Ethan is a witch, thought he just discovered it. They are ‘fated mate’ but don’t know it yet. I’ll explore their running away from yet one more ‘bad guy’ coming after them in the next story

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Celine Poupon

Profile picture of Celine Poupon

@celpompom

Active 1 week, 1 day ago
Short Story : 11
Poetry : 0
52 Scenes 2022 : 0