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  • Cute story, Sharon! I like the little hints throughout that there was a miscommunication. good dialogue between the couple.

  • Hi Sue,

    Fun take on the prompt. I love all that’s in there about the Maori culture, as well as the main character’s focus on the stars.

  • Nice response to the prompt. Fun imagery to give personality to Teacher-Nurse Kagi.

  • Thanks for reading, Sue! Yes fun was the idea 🙂

  • My Initiation as a Werewolf by Renee Shurilla
    #
    I’ve always been obsessed. Glossy to matte, MAC or Revlon. That night, I had on my trusty, solid, Ruby Woo, and was ready to go out on the prowl.

    When I’m loo […]

  • Great story, James! Action packed and exciting from the beginning. chilling at the end. Keep writing!

  • Fun story! You have created an interesting world with its own history and rules. I agree that it could benefit from more explanation. This story could be much longer, and give you a place to explore more about the characters you introduce here.

  • I thought this was an interesting part of the story. A scene that’s all in Ana’s mind. I myself did not have trouble following which Ana was talking, but I can see how someone might get confused. Looking forward to seeing what happens next!

  • Thank you Riana! I’ll keep in mind the repetitive nature of some of the sentences for the future. Glad that you enjoyed the story. Yeah I was playing a little with the grammar since it was a creature that had just been created. Glad it didn’t distract too much.

  •          The execution for the witch had failed. A rainstorm came at the worst hour to prevent the immolation as had been planned. The witch was put back in custody.

              Astor ran home faster than he h […]

    • That was a fun story, Renee. You pulled me into the story right away, and grew my interest as the story unfolded. I liked Astor’s determination, his desire and need for magic, and I especially liked the ending, when he accepted the witches words and asked for her smarts instead. I found your tale to be quite enjoyable, thanks for sharing.

  • Cute story, and I love the fable-type feel that it has. It makes me wonder what the man who lived there was thinking. Was it true that he didn’t like the spiders anymore because they weren’t catching flies?
    It might be interesting to bring him back in to the story. Maybe he destroys mom’s web, vut leaves Clav’s alone.
    All in all, good story though!

  • A touching story. It makes me angry for the character, and for everyone who has been subject to this kind of fraud.
    I really like the imagery of the wolves, and how they themselves can be deceptive.
    Great story!

  • This story was great! I loved the imagery you brought here. As others stated, I can really taste that cigarette and feel what the character is feeling.
    I also love the idea of carrying around memories in your purse. I agree that some of the sentences could be a little more concise, but in general, I saw the piece as very well written.

  • I enjoyed reading this part of the story. It was a good, important piece of information.
    It was interesting how you brought in reasons for the characters to talk about the world and give information. I would also caution, though, to make sure and stay away from the “As you know, Bob” dialogue. It was a little too close to that.
    What other ways…[Read more]

  • Thank you for reading! The idea behind it was that this was a being that had grown in a refrigerator from food that had been left in there too long. Have you ever heard people refer to the food that has gone moldy or start to grow things on it as a “science experiment” in the fridge?
    It was interesting to see how you interpreted it, and helpful to know.

  •          I wake up in the cold dark, surrounded by stale bread. It takes an eternity to free myself from the containment, and I am rewarded with an even colder, hard plastic surface. The smell of organic materia […]

    • Wow! I loved the imagery in your story, Renee, and the spirit you gave your “science experiment”! Am I correct in assuming it’s a worm ? Quite a thinker, this one 🙂 That last sentence is so sad and yet, so beautiful, too. Thank you for your story.

      • Thank you for reading! The idea behind it was that this was a being that had grown in a refrigerator from food that had been left in there too long. Have you ever heard people refer to the food that has gone moldy or start to grow things on it as a “science experiment” in the fridge?
        It was interesting to see how you interpreted it, and helpful to know.

    • Dear Renee, this is such an excellent and unique interpretation of the prompt! Loved it! I really enjoyed the angle and perspective from which your story is told, and unfolding it in such a mysterious manner worked so well! The story is intriguing and makes you put your thinking cap on!

      Here and there I thought you might have been a bit repetitive, for example mentioning twice that sustenance is in abundance, only two paragraphs apart. There is also a sentence or two that doesn’t flow well grammatically, but nothing serious that distracted from the story.
      Hope to read more of you! 😉

      • Thank you Riana! I’ll keep in mind the repetitive nature of some of the sentences for the future. Glad that you enjoyed the story. Yeah I was playing a little with the grammar since it was a creature that had just been created. Glad it didn’t distract too much.

  • This story was really interesting. Being spontaneous can be interesting, but terrifying at the same time. Who knows what will happen now? It could be one of the best things in her life. Doesn’t make it any less scary, though.
    Great story.

  • Hi James. No it isn’t part of a larger story, but I see that it might be. I’m using this platform to explore different ideas and see what ones I want to expand. I’ll keep this one in mind!
    Thanks for the suggestions. I made those changes.

  • Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll keep it in mind for future stories to keep the language in mind as it relates to the piece. Thanks for reading!

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Renee Shurilla

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active 3 days, 3 hours ago