• Hi Marilyn, thank you so much for going back and catching up with so many scenes. I am so grateful. I apologise, I too, have fallen behind but in a slightly better position now that the short story is out of the way and I have caught up with my missing scenes so I’m very much looking forward to catching up with my favourite cosy πŸ™‚

  • Hi Peggy, another great scene. Roy is such a wonderful character, I love his nonchalance, especially in this situation – it really shows his experience and control. You are so skilled at characterisation. Nice to see that he’s staking his claim to Helen too, in his own way. It all feels like the story is building up nicely towards the big…[Read more]

  • Hi Peggy, it’s hard to add anything to the totally deserved praise you’ve already received for this scene but I’d like to join in and reiterate what a great scene it is and how much I enjoyed it! I was on the edge of my scene all the way through. I especially loved how you depicted Cho and reminded us of how young and scared he is.
    Brilliantly done πŸ™‚

  • Wow, thank you so much, Peggy – that means a lot! I’m sorry I’m not too familiar with many romance writers so I don’t know Mary Stewart but as I do need to read more in this genre, is there a specific book of hers that you would recommend? xx

  • Hi Peggy, I am utterly gutted that I have not followed this story before and have just found it now. I might be biased because Goodbye Blue sky is one of my favourite songs ever but I really enjoyed this instalment of this story. Even without the benefit of knowing the story so far, I was completely grabbed by the plot, the characters and the…[Read more]

  • Thank you so much, Peggy. There’s always so much more going on to people’s lives than what we can see – I love exploring this in stories. I’m really grateful for your feedback and so sorry for the delay in responding xx

  • Hi Adam, the letters being returned took me by surprise, in a really good way, that was a great idea. Like Michael, however, I found it a little confusing that they assumed that she took off on her own. Wouldn’t the hospital have notified Lucy’s dad as next of kin? But that aside, this is a great plot line to develop. The mum had played such a big…[Read more]

  • Hi Adam, thank you for the read and for taking the time to give me all this great feedback, I really appreciate it. First of all, can I say how jealous I am that you get to go bodysurfing? It’s several hours drive for us to get to the nearest beach where the waves are good enough to do so and with the travel restrictions, accommodation costs there…[Read more]

  • Ben Hunt commented on the post, Sad man by Ben Hunt 1 week ago

    Thank you so much, Mark and sorry for the delay in responding πŸ™‚

  • Hi Mark, wow, that was great! I didn’t pause from beginning to end, you kept the tension going so well. I really enjoyed that, well done on the extra challenge too!

  • Thank you, Nina. Thank you so, so much for the read, the encouragement and for not giving up on Pierre πŸ™‚

  • Oh wow, Nina, this was an absolute corker of a scene. Magda not even bothering to try to get Billy’s name right was great already, but the scene between Billy and Clarissa was just such a treat! You captured such sweetness and innocence in Billy, that was beautiful. And I’m also so intrigued by the letters.
    The only thing is I don’t how much…[Read more]

  • Ben Hunt commented on the post, Sad man by Ben Hunt 1 week ago

    Hi Kim, I love the Limp Bizkit version (although I know that’s controversial to fans of The Who) – you should give it a listen and see what you think… As for his daughter’s death, the word count wasn’t enough to develop that part of the story but people choosing not to get involved (and how that makes them as guilty as the perpetrators of…[Read more]

  • Hi Becky, this is truly beautiful. I love how you unfolded your MC’s grief through the everyday things of life carrying on, like the opening of the box of teabags, the grandchildren coming round, the reading of a bedtime story – that made the whole tale so much more poignant and real.
    What was the song you picked? I tried to work out the line…[Read more]

  • Ben Hunt commented on the post, Sad man by Ben Hunt 1 week ago

    Hi Becky, I’m so sorry for the delay in getting back to you (I feel like I’m apologising all the time now…eek) but thank you for the read and the lovely comments! xx

  • Hi Susanne, I was a little surprised at first as to the severity of Lilli’s reaction, she seemed to be physically in shock. Once John got her talking though, the conversation flowed and it was good to see Lilli explaining why she was so upset. It especially helped to read about the financial difficulties her and her mother and sister experienced…[Read more]

  • Hi Susanne, thank you so much. I think she’s trying hard to hate him…maybe a little too hard to be convincing, me thinks πŸ˜‰

  • [Note: this scene immediately follows scene 35 chronologically…where Kate found out Pierre’s involvement in the tanks mystery.]

    Kate continued finning underwater towards the endless blue ahead, putting all her […]

    • Hi Ben, I admire your skill at managing the reader’s emotions. Kate goes on quite a roller-coaster ride here and skillfully, you take the reader along. At first, we are scared, together with Kate, that there might be sharks, and then elated to see the dolphins. With Pierre, It’s just like that: he starts out as a grumpy guy, then Kate falls in love with him, now she hates him. I just wonder, will you turn Kates emotions once again? Of course, we all hope so…

      • Hi Susanne, thank you so much. I think she’s trying hard to hate him…maybe a little too hard to be convincing, me thinks πŸ˜‰

    • Nina replied 1 week ago

      Oooh nice barb at the end. Really smart way to go. Lets Kate have her edge and lets Pierre know she knows something and lets us know we’re in for some serious drama. You did some serious dream weaving in that dolphin scene, actually all the underwater time was spectacular. Still rooting for Pierre.

      • Thank you, Nina. Thank you so, so much for the read, the encouragement and for not giving up on Pierre πŸ™‚

    • Adam replied 1 week ago

      Hi Bene, The opening is fraught and you capture that anger pushing out of Kate in the water (I did stop and check myself when you switched to a different view point (to the surface) in the second par – minor thing but wondered if she could simply look up and visualise that under surface perspective which can be so magical, or revealing? I too loved the dolphin scene – as a bodysurfer here, often have amazing experiences with them in, around and even on the waves (they scare the hell out of me at times – you forget how big and powerful they are). You captured the magic and the movement so well – I was intrigued by the sounds – guess I don’t hear them in the moving water. Again I did wonder if you needed ‘chase the image of circling sharks’ – because in one line you’ve already given us this unnerving sense. Just a thought. The rest of the scene just rolls along – and yes I agree, perhaps Kate needs to ease back her inner anger towards Pierre…maybe she just keeps up the appearance while she resolves the mystery? Great job as always.

      • Hi Adam, thank you for the read and for taking the time to give me all this great feedback, I really appreciate it. First of all, can I say how jealous I am that you get to go bodysurfing? It’s several hours drive for us to get to the nearest beach where the waves are good enough to do so and with the travel restrictions, accommodation costs there have sky-rocketed beyond our budget. Can you catch a wave for me please, next time you’re out? πŸ™‚
        Now for the story, I was surprised to read your comment about the point of view change as the whole story is written from Kate’s perspective so in my mind I was describing what she was seeing from underwater but after a re-read, I now see what you mean. I will have to tweak that as it’s such a magical sight, I really want to make sure I get it right.
        Good catch about the circling sharks – I Benexplained again, didn’t I? πŸ˜‰
        As for Kate, she’s just lashing out. She’s hurt, I hope she will calm down….but who knows with these characters!
        Thank you so much. I have to rush to work but I look forward to reading your scene tonight πŸ™‚

        • Yeah the pov was a minor thing. No biggie. The explaining – yeah, you got this! The bodysurfing – pics sents, plans afoot for a Bene wave when the rain sets – swell coming on Sunday. Take care

    • Another great scene, Ben! I just love your descriptions of the ocean and the way Kate uses her time there to let go of her emotions if only for a short time. I loved the tension you created with the idea there might be sharks, and then to discover the dolphin was wonderful, you captured Kate’s enjoyment of the dolphin’s antics so well, along with her disappointment when it left to join its pod.
      I also thought you did a great job portraying the range of emotions Kate experiences during this scene, her desire to avoid Pierre and her anger and disappointment is palpable and justified. I’m still hoping Pierre has a reasonable explanation for his actions and that it’s one Kate can accept, assuming she cools down long enough to hear him out πŸ™‚
      Great work, Ben – can’t believe there’s only 10 more weeks to go!

      • Thank you so much, Peggy. I started this year’s challenge knowing my descriptions were my Achilles heel so reading that you enjoy them means an awful lot and is really encouraging me to feel that I am making progress. Thank you so so much for that.
        I know, I can’t believe there’s only 10 weeks to go either but what a 10 weeks it’s going to be for our stories and us as writers! I am both totally terrified and excited in equal measure 😊 xx

    • Hi Ben,
      That underwater scene was remarkable. I was so envious in that I would love to play with a dolphin that way. Kate was sad to see the dolphin go, but at the same time, happy that the dolphin belonged to a pod. Perhaps some foreshadowing that Kate can’t be on her own either? Kate’s personality is very specific to a certain type of person who gets angry first and asks questions later. She feels justified based on what she’s overheard and she’s not the type of person to consider a possible alternative explanation. Although I feel bad for Pierre, the truth is that his grumpiness was something that she bore with before he softened up and hopefully he realizes that and will give her some room instead of being upset with her.
      The parting shot was great and it threw the ball in his court quite well.
      Really great scene!

      • Hi Sudha, thank you so so much for these awesome comments. I feel so lucky that you’re sticking with my story and so grateful for the encouraging comments. Kate does have serious trusts issues (not surprising given her experiences) but somehow I’m going to have to make her face these. I just need to work out how to weave that into the plot line…eek. πŸ™‚

    • Hi Ben, this was well done. I felt like I was with Kate in her emotions, and also with the dolphin–I like how you toyed with us first, letting us think it might be shark. Great descriptions and detail throughout this scene. I appreciate that she didn’t avoid Pierre, but let him know she was frustrated. I think and hope Pierre has an explanation that Kate will be able to accept, but she also has good reason to be upset with him. Let’s not forget that he has reason to be upset with her, too.

      • Hi Becky, thank you so much. You’re so right, in her anger and hurt, she’s forgetting he has a reason to be upset with her too… he just doesn’t know it yet 🤣

    • Hi Ben – such rich descriptions – I think I have said before I am too scared to dive or snorkel and so can do it vicariously via your scenes . I would LOVE to swim with dolphins so I was v jealous of that bit! I’m glad Pierre at least got why Kate is angry with him…and that rumble on the ocean floor couldn’t have been a few tanks ful of ??? being dumped could it, by any chance??!! You are certainly keeping us on the edge of our seats…

      • Hi Deryn, thank you for the read. In scene 35, Kate overheard Pierre and Matt transferring the tanks to Danny’s boat, along with the reason why she was given the job, which is why she’s pretty mad at all three of them. Not tanks being dumped, although if my planned ending doesn’t work, it’s not a bad idea 😉

  • Hi Deryn, I’m so glad the relationship between Guy and Fran is mended and back to normal. My favourite bit of this scene was where Fran asks Guy if Freddie has had gay relationships before. It was just lovely to see her being concerned and caring for her friend, like a big sister would, wanting to make sure his heart wouldn’t be broken xx

  • Hi Deryn, don’t worry at all. I’m constantly playing catch up. You’re right there are so many great stories both in 12 and 52, I wish I could read them all too. Yes, I wasn’t sure about the budgie smugglers either but couldn’t think of a way to describe them without using a brand like Speedo which doesn’t seem quite right for Momo somehow – I’ll…[Read more]

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Ben Hunt

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@benhunt

Active 1 day, 2 hours ago
Short Story : 11
Poetry : 6
WTC : 0
52 Scenes : 42
Dialogue : 0
Flash Fiction : 0