fbpx
  • Hey Georgina and how goes it? i really enjoyed your submission again. I’m reading the ‘Area 52’ submissions pretty late and am glad I got to yours. It’s a really imaginative storyline, and you used a very effective style to deliver it. Plenty of dialogue (which you excel at) and the way you tease information into the conversation is great. I trust…[Read more]

  • Hey Nina and thanks for reading. Yeah, Oro is a figure of pity at some level. I had not intended to project that but you and Randy picked up on this. I may try and use that angle more in the re-write. Thanks, cheers and stay well. Regards Seyi

  • Hey Gold, and how goes it? Great visuals, throughout this piece. From your carefully constructed (I assume) sentence introducing Arabella, to the brilliant description of the night club (I had to look up crepuscular, awesome word) I could pretty much see everything your narrator could. I especially liked the ‘surprisingly small feet’ you gave your…[Read more]

  • Seyi commented on the post, promises by nsbnina 2 days ago

    Hey Nina, and how goes it? Tough reading month for me, so I’m getting to 12SS stories horribly late. Glad I got to yours and I enjoyed meeting Daphne DePew (wonderful name, by the way.) I agree that first sentence may have lost it’s way somewhat, but the rest of the tale more than makes up for it. I liked the impassive Sheba. The line ‘Sheba, who…[Read more]

  • Hey Glen and how goes it? Very cool storyline and I like the way you eased the prompt in. Great descriptions, and I like the way you choreograph your characters’ movement. I struggled a bit with sentence beginning ‘She drops to the ground…’ as I first got the impression she got warmth from the steel. It does seem like he the preacher man was…[Read more]

  • Seyi commented on the post, Area 52 by Seyi 3 days, 5 hours ago

    Hey again Dionne and thanks for your kind comments. Glad you liked it. Stay safe and best regards. Seyi

  • Seyi commented on the post, Area 52 by Seyi 4 days, 3 hours ago

    Hey Randy, thanks for reading and I prize your viewing this story from Oro’s point of view. (Your comment about his ‘turn at the bucket’ is priceless). Glad you liked it and best regards. Seyi

  • Hey Dionne and how goes it? Been a long month and I’ve been looking forward tp reading your submission. As always, you do not disappoint. I also like the mashup of scifi (implied) and fantasy. I can’t help but wonder what other ills were in this hallway that needed a radiation monitor? The mind boggles. I’d suggest you make it clear that Malcolm’s…[Read more]

  • Hy Mike and howzit? You killed it with the dialogue. I felt a couple of old buddies going to watch a game in the time of COVID, carrying on an old ritual with the aid of luckily allocated seats (‘pulled out of a hat’). I did wonder why they would have to stick to old assigned parking if there were so few cars at the stadium, though? Also the…[Read more]

  • Seyi commented on the post, Prey by RG Hughes 4 days, 4 hours ago

    Eish, Randy. I agree. Dark, twisted, but also very very cool writing. It read almost like a screenplay for me. I could ‘see’ this couple (fake smiles and all) as they spoke so casually about their hunt, and planned the next one. I was a bit confused by the reference to ‘rising divorce rates,’ with respect to their last victim, though. I assume…[Read more]

  • Seyi commented on the post, 52 by C Alexis 5 days ago

    Hey C and how goes it? This is one of your tales that I enjoyed immensely, without understanding fully. I’m a sucker for alliteration, and you paired enough greta words, to keep me smiling throughout this story. There’s a fair amount of mystery, and plenty unexplained but I liked the sense of a closing circle as her Aunt guided her to a point…[Read more]

  • Hey PFG and howzit? I agree your opening line is stunning. Impossible to stop reading, after encountering such a loaded sentence. I like the storytelling feel you gave to this piece, with your unnamed narrator drinking in tales from his exciting aunt. The ending is great, and I’ve already ascribed three or four different fates to the perplexed…[Read more]

  • Wow, Barbara. This is epic. I am blown away by the world you have built and populated, motivated in such an economic fashion. The reader is draw in effortlessly and must be rooting for your main character halfway through. I really hope you return to this storyline soon, it’s way too rich to leave alone. All the best and regards, Seyi

  • Hey SM and how goes it? I really enjoyed this piece the first time I read it but I couldn’t say why, so I put it aside for a moment to read again and unfortunately, got distracted by life. I’m glad I did that though because I made several failed attempts to read it again before finally finding a window in which to read it through to the end…[Read more]

  • Seyi commented on the post, Area 52 by JM Barrie 1 week ago

    Hey JM and how goes it? great to see the Griffin / Bentley duo back in the saddle. I always enjoy the undercurrent of humor you have running through even your most action-packed scenes. I particularly enjoyed Griffin’s mental monologue in the opener to this piece. I did think Bentley progressed pretty rapidly from being ‘slumped in his chair’ to…[Read more]

  • Hey Christopher and how goes it? I was laughing like mad from your second line, and the phrase ‘almost post-coital relief’ made me stop, stand up and applaud. The sentence beginning ‘It’s my great grandfather…’ may have run overlong a bit, but that did nothing to take away from a really fun read. Your story construct is great, and the funny is u…[Read more]

  • Hey Charles, and how goes it? Long time no read, it has been especially tough this month and I am reading the submissions very late. Glad I got to yours, the earlier version of ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’ (both versions) ranks among my favorite sci-fi movies. Probably why I also pictured this scene in black and white. I enjoyed your usual wry…[Read more]

  • Hey Ismael and how goes it? Much respect for the imaginative technique you created and described so vividly for ‘mind reading.’ The sibling dynamic you introduced at the beginning is back and has a great effect. Not sure I should call it ‘dialogue,’ but their communication is cool and I am looking forward to their joint efforts at finding and…[Read more]

  • Eish, HM. Wow. I loved this. Great technique and great tone. I also especially liked the descriptions you used, and the many references to ‘home’ show just how homesick Anna is. I won’t repeat the praise you have received but affirm all of it. Wonderful piece, really well done, and all the very best. Seyi

  • Hey Maria and how goes it? I am reading 12SS submissions late this month so I regret I am late to almost every story. I really liked this, and always enjoy the dark humor you sprinkle into your writing. My favorite line was “I don’t think mom bought brains,” that one cracked me up like crazy. I had first thought the zombie was their MIA mother but…[Read more]

  • Load More

Seyi

@afrobru

active 3 hours, 21 minutes ago
Short Story balance: 2
Poetry balance: 1
WTC balance: 1