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  • Yeah it’s pretty hard telling a story backwards with no letter ‘e’s. Makes keeping the tense and POV a bit challenging. Good fun to see if it was even possible (I had my doubts when Elaine first posted it).

  • I did do said task. An Adam first 🙂

  • Ah, two original sin yarns today. Good on you! R.L had another. Congratulations. And any story with Adam in it has to work 😉 PS I now avoid that nasty No.2 non-consonant.

  • Hey Georgiana, there is something magical about lighthouses and there is everything magical about this piece of writing. I love it. I love the man, his dog, their rhythms and their prospects. There’s no sentimentality in this. It just is, and its fabulous. You should spend more time with these guys. So good.

  • This is great from the first line. I love this tho “A tall, blonde, slender cliché, everything else about her was Irish.” So good. But then I could have included a handful of other lines from this. Well done

  • I’ve tried and bailed/failed on a few challenges in previous years (One challenge actually helped me out of a total mindblock) so about time I stuck one. It was kinda hard and then kind of came out like I guess all stories do if you sit there long enough. Thanks for reading.

  • Thanks Peggy – hope all’s well. Look forward to writing something with lots of e’s next month!

  • Adam commented on the post, Tempted by Seyi 1 month ago

    Hey Seyi. Great writing as always. Love the tension build as the cops make their way to the apartment. The glimpes of the ‘old lady’ are great. Sure we’ve had a discussion before about the fine line between intrigue and confusion. I needed a few more guide rails to not have to re-read. Even then, to get the full story had to google and read the…[Read more]

  • Adam commented on the post, Tempted to Taste by Seth 1 month ago

    I like this alot. Feels like something you could keep working. I love the idea of strength and power in dishevelment. Well done.

  • Adam commented on the post, Temptation by R.L. Nel 1 month ago

    A original rendition of a story that has left bitterness in the mouths of so many. All power to those who think that when “someone forbids me from having something, I want it.” Great stuff. Hope you’re doing well.

  • Hey Ray. I love this scene. So much in so few words. I love the two characters who we learn so much about. Great stuff. Thx for sharing.

  • Hi Annette. I love the opening. So simple and vivid. I wanted to stay in the moment with Tim as a child. 300 words is so short, but you’ve done so well to weave in a second element. It took me two reads and some extra back tracking to pull all the threads together. Clearly the early lesson stayed with him. Thanks for sharing

  • Arrrrrrgggggghhhh – damn that last minute edit. Had done a ‘find’ earlier and my “very clean” version had about 12 e’s in it. These two sneaky guys just lept back in at the 11th hour under cover of darkness and panic. Sorry. Fixed. And thanks for reading so closely!

  • RIP Mick.A man who will, no doubt, miss what our world could bring.Fatal crash. Ran off that road. Hit his own wall.Could throw fault at him. But Mick’s not around to say a word in his honor.So I will.Ok. You c […]

    • I really liked this. But I caught a couple e’s near the end. “Sacked. Shamed.” I had three when I finished mine. I didn’t even see them until find and replace flushed them out. I liked your description of his comfort just watching TV after a hard day’s work. Great job.

      • Adam replied 1 month ago

        Arrrrrrgggggghhhh – damn that last minute edit. Had done a ‘find’ earlier and my “very clean” version had about 12 e’s in it. These two sneaky guys just lept back in at the 11th hour under cover of darkness and panic. Sorry. Fixed. And thanks for reading so closely!

        • It’s nearly impossible to write in reverse time order and not use -ed verbs.

    • I’m so impressed with everyone that took up the challenge, especially since you came up with a compelling and interesting story. I applaud your work!

    • Ana replied 1 month ago

      RIP Mick. I got the feeling I know him after 300 words. I don’t know about the extra challenge bit this works for me as it is. You portrayed his frustration and the destruction of his lust for life. I think you did a pretty good job Adam, any complaints? 🙂

      • Adam replied 1 month ago

        I’ve tried and bailed/failed on a few challenges in previous years (One challenge actually helped me out of a total mindblock) so about time I stuck one. It was kinda hard and then kind of came out like I guess all stories do if you sit there long enough. Thanks for reading.

    • Seyi replied 1 month ago

      Hey Adam and howzit? I realized belatedly that ‘Hit his own wall‘ is literal and ties in with the last line. Sorry, I’m extra slow today I think. Your terse sentences feel extra intense, as you describe Mick’s tough day. Very effective. The narrator (omniscient friend of Mick?) seems to change hands at the last though. That’s the toughest line to read. Well done and regards, Seyi last though

      • Adam replied 1 month ago

        Yeah it’s pretty hard telling a story backwards with no letter ‘e’s. Makes keeping the tense and POV a bit challenging. Good fun to see if it was even possible (I had my doubts when Elaine first posted it).

        • Seyi replied 1 month ago

          Eish, I would tend to agree. I didn’t know the detail of the extra challenge. (I’m not on FaceBook, and have missed these challenges – may be just as well) Kudos for pulling this off. Regards

    • Well done, Adam! So glad you did the extra challenge. It was a tough one but I always believe that the extra challenge is what really helps our creative writing muscles work! This was a great story. As Ana said, we got to know Mick really well in 300 e-less words! Start brushing up on your q words. You’re going to need them for the next extra challenge!

    • Bravo Adam! I played around with it, but just didn’t have time to do this challenge justice. This was great use of the challenge and the intensity of flash. Loved it.
      G

    • Bloody hell! I had no idea what the challenge was until I read the comments. I searched high and low for e’s and found none. And you managed to make a whole story out of it! Well done, Adam! – Rachel

  • Adam commented on the post, The Plea by Adam 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Hey Seyi – all good here. Sun out today after about 6 weeks of rain and cloud and flooding up the coast a bit. Thanks for the feedback – I did find one super long sentence – sorry. Although I do like the idea that using short sentences buys you the right to use a longer one from time to time. That said, I’m not feeling this piece that much – was a…[Read more]

  • Adam commented on the post, The Plea by Adam 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Yeah I’ve got a bad habit of leaving things hanging…both in life and in my ss’s haha! Take care. A

  • Hey Lauren, I love this line near the start. “Little towns like Bowlin have short attention spans but long memories” Feel like it could be the opening (even though I quite like the actual opening too – although for a while there I thought he was onstage talking to an audience). The voice is great – really consistent. I love that we dont know much…[Read more]

  • Hey Cobus, This feels very Kurt Vonnegutt and kept me reading and laughing. There are some great moments (I really like the opening death) but I have to say I did get a little confused as the scenes shifted rapidly and dramatically (might just be my woolly head space). Maybe it needs a little more subtle guidance for the reader (Like when the…[Read more]

  • Hey Rachel, there is some seriously powerful writing in this. For me the strongest moments are in the opening scene. The child’s recollections of the book, choosing a toy, the mothers busyness. It’s so vivid and foreboding as we know what’s happening even if the narrator speaks with naievity. If you want feedback, just check the commentary of the…[Read more]

  • He Chris, I really love the opening. Poised to go on stage then the wandering, meandering mind. You captured the building anxiety so well. I did get a little discombobulated as it flicked between placed in the narrators recollections. I also wondered if to get a TED talk the narrator could have had a more successful backstory (but one they still…[Read more]

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Adam

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@adamjeffrey

Active 1 month ago
Short Story : 4
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