•  The motion sensor in front of Julia’s unit goes dark a minute after Antonia has closed the front door behind her.

    Anne has been staring into the night. She is not sure whether she just heard Julia speak, or if […]

  • Lockdown Day #63

    “Can you get me my Chrome book, Mum!”

    “You are 16 years old, you should be able to get out of bed and get it yourself.”

    “But, Mum!” he yells. “Class starts in five minutes.”

    I return to my be […]

  • The door bell announces a new customer. Sally enjoys her work at the thrift shop. It doesn’t pay much, but she gets first pick on incoming goods. 

    As she looks up, Melvin has just come in, a bouquet of pink tu […]

    • I enjoyed reading your story, Melanie. I wonder what was in the box?!

    • Oh no – hopefully no more shortbread. I don’t think there’s enough tea for that. I don’t think mother has bought into this relationship. Let’s hope Melvin can handle that. Well done.

  • Like a true pedant, Phil can’t help himself.

  • Melanie commented on the post, Pedantic by Eva-Maria 2 days ago

    Was that person using a spoon and fork to coil the spaghetti?

  • There we have it. Dr Gott’s secret. I was kind of dreading this. The double betrayal of father and priest.
    Will JD and Dr Gotts be meeting in the static tonight?
    In the second paragraph JD nicely sums up modern society.
    One thing puzzled me: ‘She was not J.D.’s mother: she would not burn for him’. I tried to google Satan’s mother. All kind of o…[Read more]

  • To be honest, the inverse conclusion that God must exist, if Satan exists, hadn’t crossed my mind either in the context of the book.
    I have a feeling that there is a lot more to Dr Gott than we have seen. What is her secret? What is her connection with James? Is his last name King by any chance?

    I had to chuckle at the last line: Gott’s plan.

  • Hung up on twice in one day. That would dampen Maisie’s confidence. But is also a great way to create tension in the story.
    It looks like Maisie is not trusting her sisters very much. Interesting family dynamics.

    I don’t know why, but I picture Colleen and Ritz as the Pink Ladies from Grease.

  • Hi Becky,
    I like how you vocalise Colleen’s realisation of who Maisie is: “Who? Oh. Uh—Okay.” – Maisie imagined Colleen climbing another rung of the ladder of understanding with each syllable.’ That’s nicely done.
    I had expected Colleen to be a bit more ‘out there’ or crazy. She seems almost reasonable.
    So where does the mystery really lie?…[Read more]

  • John to the rescue! Endless chicken soup for the soul. I didn’t pick up on the soup ‘plate’ as Becky did. It seemed normal to me. So it must be a cultural thing. I looked it up for clarification: “A soup plate is defined as a wide rimmed plate with some depth, especially meant for serving soup.”
    Lilli seems physically in shock. I was worried for…[Read more]

  • Could Godfrey get any worse? What a nasty piece of work. I think Katharina might not know about the money either. My favourite line: ‘God, I hate it when his hands try to calm me down like a little child. If he pats my head, I’ll bite ‘em off.’ It shows how removed Godfrey is from being a functioning father. Will this be Lilli’s dark night of the soul?

  • Such eloquent sentences. At first I thought the narrator was the stalker. All the descriptions add to the vivid image we get of the trains station. Well done.

  • I watch you all the time. I watch you every time you speak. You cannot tell, but when my eyes are on the screen they are on you only. I volunteer as the host and unmute you again and again. Every tiny noise you […]

    • Super creepy, but so effective. I loved the details of it and how deeply involved this stalker is. Excellent work!

    • Suspenseful, creepy, ominous! It is scary to think we open ourselves to stalkers whenever we are online! Good use of the prompt.

    • Oh wow that’s creepy and so real. I wonder how many stalkers or plain old creeps we allow into our lives when we engage in ‘harmless’ online activities. Great storytelling

    • Super creepy! Now I don’t want to hop on my next Zoom meeting. Good job! 😀

  • Hiding in a bush by Kate Bush’s house. The cats and the hounds. So much adventure to be had, but all the landlady thought important was the proximity of Margaret Thatcher’s house.

  • Great plot twist. Poor Steve, indeed. I like the parallel between the cliff she drove Steve down and the pit forming in her stomach. Fallen twice.

  • Hi Sandy. Maybe the car died of a broken heart. I thought the new car offered her the cookie and the coffee. If so, I want that car.

  • This is a great story. It describes the MC’s position in the world as defined by others. But nobody takes into consideration the MC’s wishes. I think I have met all the people described here.
    A sad and beautiful story.

  • Ellie was so excited when her classmates asked her to the party.

    Now she sits plonked on a chair in front of an illuminated mirror, wearing her favourite dress.

    “We can’t take you like that.”

    Ellie looks at he […]

    • This brought back memories of high school! It’s such a lovely, tender piece and I really felt for Ellie. Well done 🙂

    • This is really good. You really feel for the character with those not so nice comments – although hard to tell who was talking. The visual of cracking makeup was also really impactful. Nice ending too.

    • Ah so sad, you did a great job showing and bringing out sympathy for the character without ever telling us how she’s feels. The word choice was efficient and strong, great job!

    • Poor Ellie, high school is hard and traumatising and those ‘friends’ made it worse. Very well told. 🙂

  • Chuck: You know their right, right?

      

        Wilbur:  Their right to do what?

             Chuck: There right to complain about them pendantics out they’re.

               

                  Wilbur: You mean pedantics?

      […]

  • ‘Lying in your lies’. Perfect!
    I noticed quite a few people went down a poetic path on poetry day.

  • Load More

Melanie

Profile picture of Melanie

@melanie-wittwer

Active 1 hour, 9 minutes ago
Short Story : 9
Poetry : 9
WTC : 0
52 Scenes : 42
Dialogue : 29
Flash Fiction : 20