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Honey Mustard commented on the post, Scene 21 – Getting Out 7 hours, 29 minutes ago
What a relief that she’s out and not so very shell-shocked any more.
Loved this para: “As a kid, Johnson had believed being a police officer would feel systematic, rote and procedural … -> …. ordinary people who made poor choices.” This feels profound in the scheme of the story.
I also think your amendments and additions will add a lot of…[Read more] -
Honey Mustard commented on the post, Scene 20 – Reaction Scene by hanna.jh 7 hours, 35 minutes ago
Hi Hannah,
I’m reading your last two scenes in quick succession, so just a short note here:
“But, laying on the cot without no one to hold me except my own arms, I sobbed.” – there’s a double negative in this sentence (without no one) and I’m highlighting it only because I think you can make something special out of it.
E.g. it might have…[Read more] -
Honey Mustard commented on the post, Starry Night by Cathy 10 hours, 53 minutes ago
I’ve heard theories that he was neurodiverse (or bipolar?). What an amazing worldview it must have given him.
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Honey Mustard commented on the post, Beneath the Brightness by Debbie Gravett 1 day, 7 hours ago
Beautiful and unsettling indeed. So many masks worn for so long that the truth gets too confusing to bear. Well done.
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Honey Mustard commented on the post, Starry Night by Cathy 1 day, 8 hours ago
It’s a brave thing you did, Cathy, to choose something this famous, that has already been the subject of further art. Putting your voice out there with all those great names puts you in conversation with them and in their company. Well done!
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Honey Mustard commented on the post, Photo by Megan Choritz 1 day, 8 hours ago
Oh, those last two lines… They tug my heart right out of my throat. The loneliness and loss expressed by this poem throb with pain. And it is such a heavy moment when that realisation dawns that you, the child, are their legacy. Beautiful, Megan.
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Honey Mustard commented on the post, Calculated Recklessness by Christian Donovan 1 day, 8 hours ago
Earthy and visceral – signature Christian Donovan. I adore this, just like your other poems. And you made me wonder what it would be like to hear this poem from the POV of the Bull!
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Honey Mustard commented on the post, Lifting Cloud by Sue MacDonald 1 day, 9 hours ago
Hi Sue – a delicious line this: “not yet clear yet not / obscured”
I love this symmetry and the paradox rolled up in it! -
Honey Mustard wrote a new post, FIT & PROPER (21). Chapter 13 Scene 26 (Something to Tell) and 27 (Bruised Ego) By Hanri Mostert 1 day, 15 hours ago
Recap (hover over the italicised words if you want to be taken back to the previous scenes):
Rebecca Bolder, an upcoming law scholar at the local university, is pursuing a promotion to associate professor, a […]
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Honey Mustard wrote a new post, [13] SEVERAL SHADES OF SILENCE: Chapter 18 Scene 28; Chapter 17 Scene 26, 27. by Hanri Mostert 1 day, 15 hours ago
Recap (hover over the italicised words if you want to be taken back to the previous scenes):
Alma Lindley, a well-known labour law attorney, is married to Michael, is a successful advocate who has suffered a h […]
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Honey Mustard wrote a new post, Daphne, Transformed – by Honey Mustard 1 day, 22 hours ago
I, cause and object of lust unrequited,
beset by fear of the shame to follow
from unsought pursuits of lovelorn Apollo,
and failing to escape his grasp by flight,
sought to hide in plainest sight:
Toes, ankles, […]-
I love the sonnet form and here you have composed a perfect one. I haven’t seen the art but thanks to your words I can see it clearly.
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Seen the painting- clever! Plus gone to your links. My all-time favourite depiction of this myth is the sculpture by Bernini.
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Hello Hanri,
A brilliant sonnet and how nice that you have written about an artwork you own. I’ve learned a new word, too – anadem. Thank you also for directing us to the interpretations of the myth. You certainly caught Daphne’s defiance with your poetry. Great stuff. -
I feel this so strongly today. Women are marching in the street, worried that they will be next. The idea of becoming a tree, bound, solid, unable to be penetrated, to SAVE one’s self. Your poem is brillant.
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Yes, I’d be surprised too – and not too pleased. I like the way it gradually dawns through the poem that this might not be the rescue she would have chosen.
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What a beautiful form the Italian sonnet is, and very hard to write. I love your choice of artwork (one that you own and love) and the story you have written for it within this poem. A lovely myth that works so well in this poetry form. Well done Hanri.
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Honey Mustard commented on the post, Loose Ends by Georgiana Nelsen (19, properly) 2 days, 22 hours ago
“I trust you! It’s just sometimes if you think it’s something I want, we get it whether you want it or not. For once, I wanted it to be about you.”
Reading this, I can’t help thinking that old Leslie has quite a strong manipulative streak. 😉
She so, too, wanted to keep it a secret so that she could get all her ducks in a row and overpow…[Read more] -
Honey Mustard commented on the post, Loose Ends by Georgiana Nelsen (20, didn't call) 2 days, 22 hours ago
I love these people! The way they lace their adventure with the everyday ordinary. Where they’re talking about taking the boat out to go spy for pirates or drug lords, then this couple comes back in with their conversation whether they should buy the farm. Entertaining.
You know, someone once advised me that an MC should never be older than 34,…[Read more] -
Honey Mustard commented on the post, Fiery Dawn by Jane Bradshaw 3 days, 23 hours ago
A nice spin on the old story! Well done! I think you should give us a line early in the story which suggests that the narrator is prone to self-destruction. So that the choice in the end, even though unexpected, is entirely believable.
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Honey Mustard commented on the post, Gilly Falls #20 by nsbnina 5 days, 9 hours ago
Hi Nina!
A really believable scene – it struck me how much of the modern woman’s conundrum is wound up in this scene where the undercurrents are about going “back home” “to your roots” “where you are needed”, and how all of those expectations rob Annie of the hard-won freedom that generations of women before her had trailblazed for her. No…[Read more] -
Honey Mustard commented on the post, FIT & PROPER (20). Chapter 14 Scene 29. By Hanri Mostert 5 days, 9 hours ago
Ja, sorry Nina, I had to go back to the previous scene to sneak him in, as I’m going to need him in Act 3 for the court scene. So I thought he could fulfil a secondary function of making Daniel a bit jealous.
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Honey Mustard commented on the post, Static (Rewrite, Scene 20) by Elizabeth Strehl 5 days, 10 hours ago
Lucky you! My grading has just come in. 🙁
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Honey Mustard commented on the post, WhatsApp by Teresa Preziosi 5 days, 16 hours ago
Hi Tereza,
came looking for you but I can’t find your May submission? -
Honey Mustard commented on the post, Permanent Creativity by Sue MacDonald 6 days ago
wow, Jenny-Mae went to a lot of effort for this crush! Fun story!
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Honey Mustard commented on the post, Permanent by Matt Bates 6 days, 5 hours ago
Nice combination of crises here. The beginning had an echo of a goldilocks kind of story to it – biggest bed in biggest room and all. So the pressing “dead”line and the “ghost”writer – lovely play on words there.
The other thing I liked was Suzie’s voice/diction – well done.
I’d imagine the ghost with a much more archaic turn of phrase though -…[Read more] - Load More
Nicely drawn character. Great portrayal of how she knows exactly what she’s doing whether it’s with her dad or interested onlookers. I do hope Jamie drops her in it.
(Occasional reference to Amala rather than Imala)
Nice change of scene – definitely show her with her father rather than just a phone call. Absolutely no hint of dragging. Lots of trouble brewing