Tin’s Bended by nsbnina

  • : literary beach read

Comments

  1. Mia-admin

    Oh, how sad for Amy. Bloody Michael. This was a scene. Mel is a great addition. I can’t wait to see what Alden is going to do about the cheque.

  2. Julie

    Hi Nina, this was a very emotionally satisfying scene as well as really elegantly written. I felt for Sheila, and was shocked but gladdened at her honesty. Even frosty Emmy had to talk to someone after all she was human…and Sheila’s observation that her lack of social standing made it acceptable. I hadn’t realised Rachel’s lack of complicity which is why I have sometimes misunderstood her. I was so relieved that she’s dropped the crew idea. Amy has a turd for a father – why of why is he hanging on – Oh I know – he’s actually the child in that he’s emotionally mature. When I first read this story which has captivated me every week I couldnt quite work out what kind of people I was reading about – except that they mostly seemed pretty imoral and cold. Clarissa has shot up in my estimation by showing Alden the cheque. He’s still a mystery player for me but I think you’ve made him vague, vacuous and superficial on purpose. But I still feel sorry for him. Great work. 🙂

    1. Nina Post author

      Hey, Julie
      They’re a quirky bunch for sure. You can only see Alden through Clarissa though I think she’s sees him as he is, clearer as the scenario unfolds before her. He’s a sad man. You’re right about that. Thanks for staying with Clarissa’s story all these weeks. Bittersweet as we head to the end. What are your plans for deadlines 2022? How’s the leg?

  3. SM

    Loved this scene. Threads are tying up. I didn’t realize that the check was the one that Sheila gave Clarissa –I really like how Clarissa plays this family–they will never be able to push her around. I like how we still aren’t sure what the deal is with her and Alden…just as much as Alden doesn’t seem to know either. The part with Mel analyzing the ring was captivating…it teased us but I still have questions. Poor Amy–it is heartbreaking to see how she suffers from her father’s behavior toward her. The twists throughout this family funeral are really interesting. I have really enjoyed this story so far.

    1. Nina Post author

      Thanks, Sudha, your comments have been among those that have improved this story and I appreciate you’re staying with Clarissa and me as we find our way. I’m glad you liked Mel and the ring, which came out of feedback here. I wonder what your questions are and if I’ll answer them. Hope you enjoyed your thanksgiving. This community of writers now friends was high on my list to be thankful for.

      1. SM

        hi nina
        i dont totally remember who Mel is which is more a circumstance of reading many stories weekly. my main q was how the origin of the ring toed into the origin of Emmylines ring. could clarissa have inadvertently purchased another of Emmylines jewelry?
        why did Clarissas father sell Emmyline’s jewelry?
        i k what ypu mean by community of caring writers…its such a beaitiful affirmation of good people in this world

        1. Nina Post author

          Mel is Wilder’s ex-wife who showed up for the funeral. The ring coukd be Emyline’s. Mel thinks it is. You’ll find out why Clarissa’s father sold Emyline’s jewelry for her soon.

          1. SM

            Hi Nina,
            Thanks for the clarifications.
            looking forward to learning the rest of the answers.
            Thanks
            SP

  4. Deryn

    Hey Nina I just want to tell you incase I forget at the end, in all the jubilation of finishing 52S, that this is really one of my favourite reads – apart from some of the OTT ribbons in previous scenes (🤣🤣) it is understated, excellently written, great story and characters and with such rich descriptions that we can see and feel exactly where we are , so truly well done and here’s to the last 5… x

    1. Nina Post author

      Oh Deryn,
      Thank you so much for this message and, even more, for your feedback throughout, which had an enormous impact on this last quarter, a complete departure from the previous draft. And the ribbons – I don’t know what that was about – we’ll always have those 😉 despite their being cut now. xo

  5. Nina Post author

    Hey David
    We’ll see about Angus…but poor Rachel, she didn’t help sink the boat, wasn’t in on the planning though she did do her bit in front of the camera. A bitofa lark she thought, but she’s learning about consequences.
    You’re right about fending. I’ll cross it out. You need to do the next round of 52 scenes…barring that, I’ll need to keep your voice in my head 😉
    Thanks, as always.

    1. David

      Hi, Nina-
      Funny, I was thinking much the same about you. We seem to have lost a few people & I need some reliable voices in my head as well. I was looking back over early scenes, thinking, gee, I haven’t heard from that person in a while, either in a comment or a new scene. There used to be 4 pages of scenes, & now there are barely 2. 30-40% attrition rate.
      I’m planning to do the 6-month program. I think I need the break. Which one are you doing?
      And you’re welcome, as always. 🙂

      1. David

        Never mind, I see your answer below. Mine needs some major reworking. Some things I learned along the way need to be fixed. For all the research I’ve done, I still made some mistakes that I don’t think I can let go, even if no one else would notice them (& probably somebody at a publishing house would!). Lots more sensory images, especially early on. Straighten the story a little, although I stayed pretty true to my original concept. So I’m not ready to embark on a new one.
        I agree that Clarissa is ready to go out into the world. You’ve done a wonderful job with her. If I can’t read the new 52 scenes, maybe you could just send them to me direct. I would like to stay in touch. And I’ll probably stay with the poems.

        1. Nina Post author

          Well, you have to stay with poems. And I would love to hear your thoughts on Gilly Falls, thanks for wanting to read more. I would love to read your next draft – maybe in larger chunks, if not altogether, to feel the flow between the centuries. So much to be thankful for in this process and this community Mia created.

  6. Michael

    I do like that Amy (in a sad way) is kind of figuring out what kind of person/father Michael is. Not an easy thing for a kid of accept. Let’s hope Alden is better or finds a way to bond with her. They’ve kind of been at opposite ends with Clarissa in the middle.
    I need a reminder how Frank Monroe fits in again, it’s there somewhere in a foggy recess in my brain.
    This is an interesting way to look at it, “Maybe she felt free talking to me because I didn’t matter. I’m not anyone of consequence.” I like this line.
    Nice job – glad the cheque is out in the open.

    1. Nina Post author

      Hi Michael
      I wanted to go gentle with Amy, let her see it herself. I think Clarissa did well and yay for Rachel, yes?
      Frank Monroe was the inmate at Lakeside Penitentiary who called Clarissa on Alden’s landline looking for Michael and scaring her (and Alden). Sortofcame out of nowhere, was convenient, and needed tying up.
      Yes, I like that line, too. I needed a reason Emyline would open up to Sheila, who was nobody in the Smythes’ world, when she married Wilder and that seemed to work.
      Thanks for staying with me here. Are you doing the next round?

      1. Michael

        I don’t know what I’m doing to be honest. I need to revise the current one. I like the deadline structure – keep me working. But don’t want to end up with too many projects under construction and none finished. But then if I don’t, will I do anything anyway. I’d like a 6 month break then start again in June perhaps. 🙂 You?

        1. Nina Post author

          I am doing the scenes. I have a tucked-away novel, written in an unofficial nano- 28 days one February – and unearthed for an official 30-day nano and stuffed in a drawer. So scrabbled together without much thought or skill.
          Clarissa worked so well – and the feedback took me to another level as a writer – that I’m confident I’ll polish her up and send her out so I’m not doing the six-month rewrite.
          Hoping the new 52/52 – Gilly Falls – will ease the postpartum sure to follow our last scenes here.

  7. David

    Hi, Nina-
    So Angus makes a return, just in time to learn that he’s too late…maybe. I always felt that there was mutual attraction there, so this is interesting.
    “After the shit he pulled? Come on. I’m better than that.” Rachel. After she helped him sink the boat for insurance money. Well, okay, if she says so.
    Not sure I understood this: “Clarissa touched Alden’s cheek with one hand while fending him off with the other.” Is he getting handsy? Not sure what she’s fending off here.
    I’m glad I was right about the check–not for being right but because it was the right thing to do. Alden needs to know what his family is feeling. He doesn’t seem to care much, though. Too smitten, I guess.
    Clarissa is right not to make any announcement until she’s talked to Amy, & good ol’ Michael keeps messing up the chance to do that. I expect we’ll see that soon, though. Looks like Amy is becoming resigned to no more dad.
    But if she’s going to renege on Alden, he needs to know sooner rather than later. It would be a shame, if only because Wilder would think he had won–and without his big check.
    Lots of threads to bring into a final knot. You’re looking good, though.