The Toast by RG Hughes

Helen offers a heartfelt toast, but what does it mean for her?

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Jeff Mauser
29 days ago

Ah, weddings are so much FUN!!!! Reminds me of a wedding I went to in Michigan back in the 80’s. LOL

Excellent descriptions, wonderful dialog, and yes possible dementia.

Or not, she knew enough to step aside when Mr. Sheila was about to get her. Funny.

Thanks for the fun read

Peggy
Member
1 month ago

This reminds me of the song “Friends in Low Places” only way more twisted and loads of drama. I loved the descent into Helen’s delirium, always wondering how much is true and how much is in her head. In the end, I decided it was all in her head, but I love that I will never know for sure! A great read, Randy. Well done!

Paul J P Slater
1 month ago

Hi Randy,

This is an entertaining piece keeping the reader on the page and always wondering, what’s next. I was left wondering is dementia plays a part or something deeper, less obvious.

I wondered about “halted next the Rye” when you probably intended “halted next to Rye” although the following sentence contains “to”. You may have been wresting with a repeat or an echo. There are few more but you will spot them on a re read.

The speeches at these events can be nerve wracking, especially when there is a reveal rather than the customary congratulations.

Well done in providing spiced up entertainment.

Thank you for sharing.
Keep writing.

Cheers,
Paul

Doug Liberati
1 month ago

Well that took a turn. You a great job with a lot of characters in a very small space. You gave the right details to draw each one engagingly in a minimum of space. And they all mixed it up with each other. Between that and the pacing, the story had the feel of a hot, small room with too many people in it. Just like a wedding reception. Good job.

Michael vK
Member
1 month ago

I reckon that Ryan and Sheila are missing out! Mr and Mrs Sheila seem to be getting all the action with Helen, at least in her head, 😉

Thanks for sharing this twisted little tale.

Catherine Garden
Member
1 month ago

Hi Randy. Jane picked up on the little typos already so I will not repeat. Yes, this is a twisty entertaining tale. The MC is engaging and keeps the audience on there toes as we move from silent cheering to real concern for her mental health. Ha ha. But the there is also the slight possibility she is telling the truth? Good story.

Jane
Member
1 month ago

Hi Randy. Gosh this is a twisted tale. So much going on, I really can’t keep up. I am wondering if our lovely Helen suffers from Bipolar or something similar. Even she doesn’t seem to know what the hell she wants.
A great read I must say. Even if I am still nonplussed about her and her crazy wedding toast.

A few small things that may need an edit:

What’s-his-head, the bride’s father,  – not sure what What’s his head means – maybe What’s his name??

“Helen, honey,” Mr’s Prence said, her lithe body sliding toward the stage, – Mrs

Mrs. Prence’s glide halted next the Rye – next to Rye

Well done and thanks for sharing:)