The Minotaur 49: Complication by Jens Grabarske

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    Riana N
    4 months ago

    Hi Jens. This was a very entertaining although very “deep” scene; I enjoyed it, well done!
    You can perhaps consider making a few things with the role-switching a bit clearer. For example, when they switched roles, did they switch belongings too? If so, it would make sense that the new Mike has the masked, but if Mike simply switched to Alphonse, shouldn’t the new Alphonse have the maks?
    Anyway, the way they had to face their fears was great, I especially liked this sentence: “After all, knowing that he was fear made him seem a lot less scary.”
    Since you already compared where they are to an Escher painting twice in the previous scene, you can perhaps leave out the “like an” here and just refer to it as “the Escher-like map” or something, else it becomes a bit repetitive as it seems the speaker is drawing the conclusion all over again.
    I loved the switching back to their true roles and the “reconciliation” between the two.
    🙂

    Carolyn
    5 months ago

    Hello Jens,
    The fight, with fear or the father or with being alone, was very well done. I felt the tension and the pace was fast and flowed. I did get a little confused about who was the first person – did it switch again from Alphonse back to Mike?
    I understand the difficulty that you had earlier on when Mike was out of the picture, so you continued the story with Alphonse. Consider staying with Alphonse for the ending.?
    Also, the love the personality of the book, very fun and funny!
    Thank you for sharing, Carolyn