The Minotaur 46: Defiance by Jens Grabarske

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    Riana N
    5 months ago

    Hi Jens. All your scenes have been enjoyable, but I think this one is my favourite so far! It was beautiful, and the idea of the real world fading away so the statues can come alive has such a lovely magic to it.
    Long speaker turns rarely work, but here you’ve managed to make the Mask Merchant’s talk a moment of enlightening and encouragement, so well done.
    Don’t have much suggestions here, an excellent scene! 😉

    5 months ago

    HI Jens
    Have not read your work before but found your style intriguing. Contemporary and relaxed but with a fable like edge. Makes me regret not reading it earlier on from the start of the challenge so I can have the context to comment against. I found a few repetitions of words in succession that jumped out at me , and things like;
    ” like My eyes were closed and I didn’t dare to open them. “Monsieur!” I heard “This is an outrage!”

    My shoulders sank and I opened them again. ”
    which at first glance confused me about whether your protagonist was opening eyes or shoulders, but I know these are all things that happen in first drafts.
    I am very curious about the idea of the protagonist not wanting to be a protagonist anymore and enjoy how your writing makes your ‘magical’ realm and the real world as we know it blend effortlessly. Quite filmic this scene.
    Thank you