The Light is Low by Peggy Rockey – Scene 47 – Roy

  • : Contemporary Fiction, Thriller

Comments

  1. Ben Hunt

    Hi Peggy, what a great scene again. I don’t know how you manage to keep the tension building up like this but it’s wonderful. A tiny thing for the rewrite, the line beginning ‘“Wouldn’t you have heard if they made it to the police station?” seems to be missing its end.
    The pace and tension as you have them walking through the building are brilliantly done. As a reader, I really felt like I was moving around the building with them, alert but curious as to what they were going to find. I really enjoyed that one!

  2. Jan

    Hi Peggy,

    My apologies I am late this week, but wow what a scene. Like Julie says, you must have done this before! These actions scenes are so characteristic trademark Peggy, I am in awe and they inspire me a lot.
    As I was reading, I did not even realise I had reached the end and your book is going to be that book that keeps you going until the early hours because you just can’t put it down and the story just won’t let you either.
    In particular, I loved this ‘The room reeked of antiseptic and lingering fear’ – that said everything, and I’ve been working about Dr Charles Manson, and happy you’ve brought him back. I imagine his got something on that cargo ship, something precious, and I’m happy that the heroes know who he is.

    Well done Peggy!

  3. Julie

    Peggy – you must have done this before (write a novel that is) This is so accomplished and as the others comment pulls it together and reminds us of the threads as well as giving us a break from pure action but still packed with tension. Fabulous!

    1. Peggy (PJ) Rockey Post author

      Wow, what a nice thing to say, Julie, thank you! This is indeed my first novel, but it is a second draft of this story. The plot is slightly different, and the ending is all brand new, but the characters have stayed true to who they were, just polished a bit and given a few character flaws to add depth. I feel like one more revision and it may be ready to publish. Thanks so much for your encouraging words!

  4. SM

    HI Peggy,
    So intense. And yet a relief of a calm scene while we piece together what has happened and that responsible people are now walking around the New Moon…Your description of the abandoned building with only one unconscious person left behind is really well done, I can see the depressing, dimly lit place in my mind. The action has cooled a little which is great pacing and quite necessary.

    1. Peggy (PJ) Rockey Post author

      I was on a call with Mia today and she said we should be in the dark night of the soul right about now, and I panicked, thinking I’m just coming out of that dark night, worried that the action ended just a tad too soon, and worried this scene might be a bit boring after all the action. It did feel like we needed a bit of a breather, though, and there is still the doctor at the docks, so I’m feeling pretty good about the overall pace, and I appreciate your comment all the more for it!

  5. Georgiana Nelsen

    Peggy,
    Great job of reminding the reader of all that had gone before with this search of the building. I didn’t expect Wu Te to be alive! And the doctor lingering at the dock… foreboding. You are setting us up for a great ending!
    G

    1. Peggy (PJ) Rockey Post author

      I decided to keep Wu Te alive, so there’s at least one bad guy still around to hold accountable for his crimes. Just a few more lose ends to tie up. The doctor at the docks was a surprise to me, but just the last little bit of action I needed to get us to the end!

  6. Michael

    Great action and pacing around the building. This club under construction is a great setting in this story. It’s got so much of its own character. I guess you could develop it like that when you revise. Let the building start one way then end up another – like a living thing with moods and a personality.
    The action was great as they surrounded the building and did a sweep. Kept thinking about that other entrance from the street I think it was – near the bakery – I might be wrong. I did expect someone to call for paramedics, so perhaps add that if suitable.
    Nice ending too.
    This scene was sharp.

    1. Peggy (PJ) Rockey Post author

      I like your idea about giving the club its own personality. Will give that some thought for the rewrite. I was a little worried that this scene would be a little boring after all the action leading up to this point, but wanted to use this scene to begin wrapping up some loose ends and give the reader a little breathing room. Good point about the paramedic – I assume you meant for Wu Te? I’ll add that into the rewrite for sure. Thanks!

  7. Kathy Sanford

    Wow. I enjoyed piecing things together with Roy and Williams. This is a terrific reaction scene, allowing readers to catch their breath but not lose interest, with a nice nugget at the end to make sure we turn the page. Good job!