The Flying Lesson by Delrae Goodburn Lurie

Getting left behind sucks. That's all there is to it.

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Peggy
10 months ago

Oh my word, this feels raw and authentic. You did a great job relaying a lot of background history with so few words, and setting the tone and the tension while building empathy for the MC. Sad story, but great writing! Well done.

KB
KB
10 months ago

That was a hell of a ride. I can’t say I enjoyed this story, but it was really well done and I thought the bird metaphor was nicely managed.

Martin
10 months ago

Hi Delrae

Well, this was a gritty little tale! I loved the way you interspersed the dysfunction with the love of and focus on the little bird’s survival as a contrast. It tells us that whatever the challenges we face, we can make a valuable contribution to others – if we choose to stick to out own principles.

There are lots of messages in this and to get that out there with such a small word count is great work.

Thank you for sharing.

Martin

Charles R.
10 months ago

Delrae this was a terrific read albeit a sad ending – I felt bad for Mom. The imagery was very good and I really enjoyed the idea of the bird leaving the nest in the end which you used as a metaphor. Well done – I have no critique.

Paul J P Slater
10 months ago

Hi Delrae,

This was a rollercoaster with imagery to accompany the ups and downs.
The play on the bird’s entanglement like a marriage with its challenges and betrayals added to the fever pitch.
If I have any critique, it might be that too many sentences start with a pronoun, but it’s no biggie.

Well done and Good luck.
Paul

R.L. Nel
10 months ago

This was amaaaaaazing! I can’t add anything that hasn’t already been said by other commenters. I too loved the bird metaphors. You handled this so deftly. Best of luck in the competition! I really hope that you do well – you deserve to! Your writing is superb!