Sister (FINAL) by Mark Patterson

The curtains waft to the warm Highveld breeze from outside the window. If you could get up from the bed you would see the attractive garden, the roses pink and white in full bloom. I hope you can smell the fragrance of them or is it death you smell in this room?

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Martin
10 months ago

Hi Mark

This is a deeply passionate story that took me right alongside you. I too have sat with the last breaths and those lingering instances where the breathing stops and then starts again, and I too can breathe again. I loved the way your reminiscences reminded me of such moments where old memories rise up to the surface again. I do this too with my own brothers and sister.

It’s a lovely journey you take us on and although a sombre story, it just felt an honour to be allowed along with you.

Thank you for sharing it.

Martin

Charles R.
10 months ago

Mark, this reminds me of my own Mother’s passing 5 years ago. Today would have been her 94th. Very intimate, immediate and well done story.

Delrae Goodburn Lurie
10 months ago

What a moving meditative story. I also enjoyed the intimacy and detail – and the privilige of being the beneficiary of such a sad final whisper. You captured the youthful drama of gender roles so well. Goodluck.

Peggy
10 months ago

Oh, Mark! This story is so moving; I love the small improvements you’ve made to strengthen the story. Every time I read it, I still find a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. You’ve captured the deep love between these two siblings, that carried them through a lifetime together. This is so well written and so moving. Well done and good luck!

R.L. Nel
10 months ago

Oh wow, Mark. This is beautiful. I too have sat vigil and your descriptions of those awful last breaths brought it all right back. You’ve packed a lot of story into the word count. And, heartbreaking as it is, I don’t blame your narrator for pinching the morphine in the end – everyone he loves is already gone. Well done and good luck in the competition!

Paul J P Slater
10 months ago

Hi Mark, You have recreated the last vigil. Such a Poignant story. Emotionally hard to read as it conjures up painful memories. Well done. Good luck in the comp.