Sing a Song of Vengeance by Amber Lambda

This was for her own sanity. Glory. Vengeance. And this was the day. That last apathetic beast was hers.ย 

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Liron
1 year ago

Wow, just wow. This was an incredible short story. From the rhythmic poem and the story that emerged from it. I was so torn between the insane hunger of the maid to the crowning suspicion on who left the flower. At last the final triumph for her felt almost bitter and sad to me. Vengeance has a price and is not always sweet.
Incredible job!

Hyle Bathurst
1 year ago

Oh my goodness!
Loved the song in the beginning. I was reading it out loud because I loved the rhythm. Such a fantastical piece! She was deemed mad because she was after the birds. I’m curious if they were really after her or if they were teasing her. That last bird that gave her gifts makes me believed their play was innocent, but I can’t be sure.
I loved this. If this were a full book, I would have devoured it in one sitting.
Thanks for sharing!
Hyle

Melissa
1 year ago

I always wonder what the back story is to nursery rhymes, and I love this interpretation. Nice twist at the end, although I still wonder if Adora has really killed all the blackbirds or if more will appear as the seasons change.

Christy Kunin
1 year ago

I love what you did here! I always think itโ€™s such a fun exercise to use a poem, nursery rhyme or fairytale as a jumping off place. And this was really well written. I guessed at the twist (foreshadowed by no footprints) but I thought he might turn I to a prince at the end. A creative story of vengeance. I loved it.

maria delaney
1 year ago

Hi Amber,

Like the others, I enjoyed the children’s poem in the beginning. Your MC sounded lonely and sad and I had a question if the birds were actually, real? Or did Adora make them up in her head and that was why everyone considered her mad?

A clever piece this month. I like what you have done with the prompt.

Maria

Jes
Jes
1 year ago

Fun twist on this month’s prompt. I think anyone who reads your story will agree the first part is awesome! My favorite line you wrote was: “all they saw was the maid with no nose. ” It set the tone for the story and the meaning for Adora’s actions. Fun read ๐Ÿ™‚

Paul J P Slater
11 months ago

Hi Amber,

Congratulation on spinning such an engaging bittersweet story. Adora’s triumph is short-lived when she discovered who brought the yellow flowers.

Some thought for your perusal.
In the warning, do you mean “some hunting violence” or “some haunting violence”?

I compliment you on your low adverb count but it is interesting that you have only used “just” and “perhaps”, though each used multiple times. Well done.
Perhaps “black birds” should be “blackbirds”. There may even be a difference in its use between the opening nursery rhyme and your story.
I wonder if “Adoraโ€™s pulsed beat” should be “Adoraโ€™s pulse beat”.

This is a real treat to read. My comments hopefully only serve to improve an already enjoyable read.

Thank you for sharing.

Cheers,
Paul

Peggy
11 months ago

OMG, Amber, this was fantastic! I love what you did with this nursery rhyme, it was so creative. And how come these nursery rhymes are all a bit on the violent side? Like “rock a bye baby” where baby and cradle fall from the tree.

I thought you made Adora out to be a fully fleshed, believable character, her motives and intentions quite clear. I liked the foreshadowing and the importance you gave to the gift of the yellow flower, and while I suspected the ending would come as it did, it still packed a powerful punch. This was such a fun story to read, clever and creative and so very well told.

JM Barrie
11 months ago

Taking us into the life of the maid is so unique and so well done, Amber. The twist with the yellow flower is wonderful and gives the flower much more significance – why is the bird bringing her the flower? Is it an apology perhaps? A timely reminder to not condemn the collective for the actions of the few

Thank you sharing, I enjoyed it a lot

Natasha B-Jackson
11 months ago

Oh, man I am going to have that song stuck in my head all day long!
I loved it! I loved the angle you took and I envy your creative genius ๐Ÿ˜‰
A few missed typos – “pulsed” for example, but easily fixed.
Well done!

Timaeus
11 months ago

Holy moly Amber. That was riveting. You had me hooked from the start. A very interesting take on the prompt and I love how you brought the poem in to set the scene. I thought it could be the bird bringing the flower and honestly was saddened by the ending. Vengeance is bittersweet and you so accurately portrayed that. A brilliant piece. Well done.

Timaeus
11 months ago
Reply to  Amber

But it is the fun in the discovery as well as the character discovers what happened.