19/10 Signature by Elaine Dodge

Alfred has plans, and they don't include Batman!

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JM Barrie
11 months ago

I really enjoyed your character assassination of poor old Alfred. There have been many iterations of Batman, but Alfred has remained more or less the same. Really enjoyed the look into the sarcastic, devious, inner Alfred.

Loved your referencing the old tv show, I could see and hear it in my head, especially the car returning to the Bat Cave. A sinister and dark response to the lightness of the tv show, a refreshing new perspective, a fun story to read

Susan O'Neal
11 months ago

More! I want more! This is utterly brilliant and an inventive use of tense and POV – I loved it. Nothing to improve, the sarcastic tone, the sub-plot, the cultural references are all spot on. Off to find my husband so he can read it too….

Mark
11 months ago

Ah Elaine!
A superhero is put to death on the sword of your pen.
Loved it. Particularly liked the Holy Politician oxymoron.

Hyle Bathurst
11 months ago

This was so fun! And I absolutely love the Batman and Alfred twist. I can only imagine how infuriating it would be to serve a vigilante, let alone bratty Bruce Wayne and moody Batman.
Fantastic job! Thanks for sharing!
Hyle

Adam
11 months ago

Hey Elaine, as a Batman devotee in my childhood, I just loved this from the very first image. Great creativity and ingenuity for the task you set yourself beyond the prompt. You should challenge yourself like this every month. The voice is so consistent, and appropriate for Alfred’s doddering but astute (and clearly cunning) soul. Where it could be improved? It’s strong from start to finish. Don’t change a thing – except extend it into a small novella! Thanks for writing

AJ Millen (pen name of Mandi Millen)

Oh, I LOVED this! No.1 it’s great to see this from the point of view of the ‘bit player’ revealing the idiocy of the ‘star’. Also, it’s an interesting (and successful) example of writing in the 2nd person, something I have never plucked up the courage to do.
The pace was good, Alfred’s disdain for and clear superiority for his boss was clear and I definitely felt myself cheering him on in his dastardly plan.

Lisa Woodard
11 months ago

The first thing I said when I started reading was “It’s in 2nd person!” We so rarely see it, and it has to be done well. You definitely pulled it off. I also enjoyed the sinister take on Alfred. I never trusted him. Great job! Thanks for sharing.

SM Prasad
11 months ago

So Elaine, I read this with a big smile on my face. I’ve often wondered exactly what is going through Alfred’s head and had trouble believing that he enjoyed being the lone butler who has to “go with the flow” and “keep secrets”. I’m glad that Alfred has the sense to look after himself since no one else will. And yes, Batman’s shallow pronouncements could drive anyone to the mercenary steps that Alfred has to take. At first, I was a little suspicious of Alfred and felt he was ungrateful, but you definitely convinced me to like him and take up his cause by the end of the story. I really love the use of the future tense-It reminds me of an expansion of “If you give a mouse a cookie…” which is exciting. because it gives the reader a sense of superiority about having the ability to predict the future. Great fun…masterful!

Martin
11 months ago

Hi Elaine

This is such a fun romp of a story! I loved the way you scattered any illusions anyone might have of the character and his fictional power, by bringing him right down to earth. I loved the snooty Alfred with a great take on all the butlers we have ever known , from Jeeves to Stevens in ‘The Remains of the Day’.

What a joy to read!

Martin

Peggy
11 months ago

Oh Elaine,
This was brilliant. Having grown up on batman, I was completely drawn into your story and found myself falling slightly in love with Alfred’s cynicism, his wit, and his brains. I always knew there was more to the butler than was portrayed, clearly he was the brains to the whole operation, and you’ve portrayed him so well here. You nailed the 2nd person POV, something I have yet to try, but may challenge myself someday in the fairly near future. And thanks for sharing the story about the bank robber named Butler; I take it he got away with it?

Debbie Gravett
10 months ago

Loved this Elaine. Second person worked well to pull me in and I liked the twist on the tale.

Well written with great pace and voice.

Well done.

Paul J P Slater
10 months ago

Hi Elaine,

I wonder what poor old Alfred did for such a rib-tickling expose, but it is an enjoyable read.

Of course, you have a few more of those “ly” words than necessary.
Perhaps consider killing off “just” a few of them.

Thank you for sharing your character assassination of Alfred.
Keep writing.

Cheers,
Paul