Scene 51 by Linda Sansalone

  • : Supernatural thriller
  • : Trouble focusing -I want rewrite to focus on ending
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4 months ago

Hey Linda,
I never did like ouija boards. That was a nice and creepy way to bring back the Evermore spirit. I agree with Riana here about the Escape room scene and some other details about where they were living that seemed like fillers to me and something that didn’t do a whole lot to bring us to this last surprise. How did his grandmother’s spirit also get there? Have we seen her before interlaced with the house? I may have missed that detail, but that was surprising to me too. Overall you did a good job of giving a false sense of calm before this terrible surprise that the characters face. I hope that they are able to get rid of him!

Riana N
4 months ago

Hi Linda. This was quite an exciting way to bring Evermore back into the action! Wonder if there is an explanation about how the occulus got there? I liked the way the relaxed evening set the stage for the sudden surprise and panic.
The panic room scene didn’t feel like it quite contributed it to the storyline though, unless you perhaps tweak it a bit to raise the tension somewhat more. Perhaps play on the fact that the characters’ nerves are still a little frayed after all the supernatural drama.
Looking forward to the last! 😀