Scene 46 by Adam Jeffrey

  • : Historical Fiction

Comments

  1. Deryn

    Hi Adam we are only too familar in SA with mobs and riots and they are very scary creatures, one never knows how a peaceful mood can change and things turn nasty. I had my heart in my throat that the market would be overrun by angry protesters and Lucy would be swept up/away. Great, tense scene .

    1. Adam Post author

      Yes, your beautiful continent has seen more than its fair share of mob violence and rioting. There is a book called The Year of the Beast by Steven Carroll and he writes so brilliantly of the Beast, which is in fact the mob and how it can create such menace and power when it finds its feet and energy and voice and courage in anonmity. This is a caricature of that level of writing, but I will continue to work it up in subsequent drafts. Glad even in this early stage it landed for you. Thanks for reading as always.

  2. Ben Hunt

    Hi Adam, this is a fantastic scene. You’ve absolutely nailed building the foreboding but also the mood of the escalating events. There were many brilliant bits of description in this scene, as usual, but ‘Her boots scuffed crankily up the path’ really spoke to me. The proof that adverbs when used skillfully can add so much. The contrast between the usual liveliness of the market and the eerie feel of the day was very effective. As a reader, I grew increasingly worried for Lucy and Lucio and Lucio’s refusal to go notched up that fear for them to the next level – really well done.
    I saw your note that the riots didn’t take place in the market. Were they localised or would there have been some form of looting all across the city? It might be worth more research as these things usually spark off in several places. Just a thought.
    PS. I enjoyed learning the word spruik. A few more chapters and I’ll be fluent in Australian slang 😉

    1. Adam Post author

      So much research to do, to support the creative telling. Yes there were a number of outbreaks of looting in the city and a few suburbs too and some serious violence, including loss of life. Stay tuned! Didn’t know spruik was an Australianism…there you go – I just assumed everyone used it – its such a great word. Learn something every day. Yep, not many scenes to go – yikes!

  3. Michael

    Such an ominous scenario, nothing more deadly than an angry mob. You built it well from the bus stop, Lucy’s reluctance to go to work – set the tone well.
    Lucio is treating her very well, respectful, I could almost sense him battling with what to do about her – get her safe and sacrifice his stuff or let her stay.
    There was such an air of present danger during this scene, I could easily imagine a flaming bottle come flying out of nowhere.

    1. Adam Post author

      Thanks Michael, Not an easy thing to imagine or bring to life – quite a foreign environment for me in my peaceful little rural haven. Glad it came to life ok. Thanks as always for reading and encouraging me.