Redemption by Martin Haworth

People never forget. Especially when a loved one is slighted, damaged and lost. Never forget.

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Delrae Goodburn Lurie
10 months ago

Great storytelling in 1200 tight words. Enjoyable. Well-done.

Charles R.
10 months ago

Great story. Reads like some one got her comeuppance…at least that’s what I got out of your story. Nice tight prose with a nice punch at the ending. Well done!

Mark
10 months ago

Martin
a cracker of a tale with a great twist at the end

Peggy
10 months ago

Love the use of 2nd person POV to help align us to who is who. You gave us a good balance of here and now vs then and why. It might have been a bit extreme, but I’d say she got what was coming to her. Nice work, Martin!

SM Prasad
10 months ago

That was fun. I did worry that the ladies would be called in for questioning, since in this day and age, we have cameras. And hopefully all checks were paid in cash. Also, with the German Measles, were you trying to tell us something about the baby? That it was born with birth defects? I did follow the story and I love the evil plot of the four friends getting revenge for their friend. But I will tell you that the two “she’s”: So I am interpreting that in this section of your story,

“No point in us both missing out,” she told him, so he complied. “I’ll just go for a couple of hours.” He squeezed her hand and she settled down to an evening of television and the popcorn he had brought her.

As the evening wore on the party became more raucous. The drink flowed and there were casualties strewn across the floor and sofas and a curious mixture of smells pervaded in and also from the bathroom. As he opened the door to leave, he was forced backwards as she prevented his return and made her advances.

She overwhelmed him, discarding clothes as she went until she was naked before him.”

That the she in the first part is his girlfriend and the friend of these ladies who are dining together. The second time “she” shows up it has to do with the “curvaceous” friend who is clueless and has just shown up. I hope that’s right.
I really like the “sincere air kisses abound” and, of course, my favorite stiletto, (so much more useful than the kind for heels).
A great story in a very concise package. The graphic is really cool too!

Paul J P Slater
10 months ago

Ah Martin,
Revenge with a nice twist.
Good one,
Paul

KB
KB
10 months ago

Interesting story of sordid behavior and revenge. I did get a little lost in the middle and it took a few re-reads to figure out that the friend had died or rather when she died. I think that would be an easy fix if we had a few more words to work with.

Georgiana Nelsen
10 months ago

This one is really slick, Martin…:) love the stilettos and leather pants.
Nice work! Good luck!

R.L. Nel
10 months ago

Martin, this was a great read. I thought you did a great job with the characters. They were so different and distinct that I had no trouble telling them apart. Brilliant, bloody ending! I love tales of revenge! Good luck with the competition – Rachel.

Preston
9 months ago

This story has great potential as a tale of ‘undoing’ the social queen – a relate-able hidden desire shared by many. I like the story-in-story flashbacks giving us glimpses into the past from the present. I would have liked more detail about the main character and back story unraveled in the conversation and interactions between the ‘friends’ than told by the narrator.