What I wish I said – (Nature Mage 184) by Michael van Koetsveld

Jenvik and her companions deal with a group of rogue Dwarves and Jenvik, together with her badger cub familiar, Poppet, have to make a difficult decision.

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HoneyMustard
Member
1 month ago

Hi Michael, I’m coming into this story very late, which explains why I couldn’t follow everything. Especially all the characters and their roles. But that’s no fault on your end. I’m fascinated and a bit in awe about your ability to think out such memorable and unique names for your characters. But mostly, I can see from your writing that you’re having so much fun with this – enjoy every moment!

Jennifer
1 month ago

This story just gets better. You really managed to give each character their own voice in this without making the scene feel clumsy or overwhelming. It’s been a joy to watch Jenvik’s growth throughout this, as well as the growth of the story as a whole. Thank you for sharing with us. P.S. Poppet is my newest favourite character, just saying.

Elaine Dodge
Member
1 month ago

Hi Michael,
I really liked the section that was only Jenvik and Poppet. Your descriptions of the environment and her emotions were so good. The beginning though felt too much like stage directions – Jane on the left by the well, Peter upstage by the door and Steve on the sofa on the left, for example. It was especially confusing as there seemed to be a myriad of characters. It also jumped between characters too much, I would have preferred to see Jenvik talking only to one or two in the scene. I lost track of who was who and why and who was saying what.
Your writing is very atmospheric. I really liked that.

Jessica
Member
1 month ago

Hi!
Like others, I did pick up that your story is part of a series. Overall I liked it and I was able to follow along. I liked the characters and the moral dilemma. This was my favorite sentence you wrote, ” The sound of her companions’ conversation faded behind her as Jenvik walked further into the woods until all she could hear was the fluttering of leaves in the breeze and the occasional rustle of small animals in the undergrowth.”
I like the visual of the setting. Fun read.

Seyi
Member
1 month ago

Hey Michael, and how goes it? may be a good idea to have Jenvik follow her own path for a while (with Poppett, of course). The group is quite large, and must have been difficult to keep the storyline moving forward, while giving the main characters their time in the spotlight. You’ve managed this very well so far, the dialogue and character development is awesome. I especially like how you have shown dwarf characteristics, so consistently (the throwaway line about Kagrobelle’s beard made me laugh). Well done with your epic, and best regards. Seyi

Seyi
Member
1 month ago

Hey Michael, and how goes it? It may be a good idea to have Jenvik follow her own path for a while (with Poppett, of course). The group is quite large and it must have been difficult to keep the storyline moving forward while giving the main characters their time in the spotlight. You’ve managed this very well so far, the dialogue and character development are awesome. I especially like how you have shown dwarf characteristics, so consistently (the throwaway line about Kagrobelle’s beard made me laugh). Well, done with your epic, and best regards. Seyi

Randy Hughes
Member
1 month ago

Reading through the comments, I get that this is a much larger text. I may have read one other, involving a cave, but don’t remember the details. I thoroughly enjoyed the narrative, with Jenvil’s disappointment clear. If she suspects foul play by the others, is it wise to leave them angry and alone with the prisoners tied to trees, and with the treasure? I don’t know. A thought: you might consider building out Poppet’s personality during the story. It is clear he/she is upset and wanting to hide, but we don’t see much action. (that may have happened in other episodes, so may not be relevant.)

Thanks for sharing this. It appears you will have a great book of fantasy and adventure developing here.

Jane
Member
1 month ago

Hi Michael, I am quite sure this is going to be an amazing novel when finished:) I am so glad I get the weekly updates so I can keep up on the whole story. I love this snippet. Jenvik is growing in strength and her own convictions. I like how she is standing up to them all. And her strong desire for non-violence.
I wonder what she will decide to do about the poisoned water. Oh wait, I might be able to find out. Heading to finish off reading my email now:)
Well done Michael. Keep the great, imaginative work coming:)

Amy Trakos
Member
1 month ago

Hi Michael how exciting that Jenvik is now out on her own. (I promise I will find the time to catch up!) I really dont know where you manage to pull all this stuff out from and whether it just comes to you or takes a lot of thinking/imagining. I know you must have a very clear image of these lands in your head and you do a fabulous job at putting those into the minds of your readers.
I enjoyed this episode as I have the others but as I say, am really glad Jenvik is going it alone for a little as I think we will (and already have here) see more of Jenvik’s characteristics. Well done!

Cheryl Rush Cowperthwait

I’ve grown to enjoy Jenvik and the twists and turns this journey had taken her. The greatest difficulty for me is remembering who the other characters are since the names are not commonplace, but much like my dragon stories, it wouldn’t be hard to discern reading everything from start to finish without a month’s break in between! As always, an enjoyable episode. 🙂

Fizza Younis
Member
1 month ago

Jenvik’s character has grown so much since this story started, I really love her character’s development. And each episode is more thrilling than the previous. It has so many twists and turns and I absolutely love how the story is going so far. Can’t wait to see what happens next. Thank you for sharing this exciting journey.

Melissa
Member
1 month ago

I’m guessing this is part of a larger work, but it’s still enjoyable even though I don’t know the larger context. It leaves me wanting to know more about the poisoned stream and the dwarves as well.