• “I don’t know, but it seems like there is a lot of leftover screws. Were you following the directions?” Josie asked her husband, Mark. They had recently moved into their new home in the city.

    “What directions?” […]

    • I feel this story in my bones. You were really able to capture the true frustration of trying to get your partner to use the directions. Your dialogue is highly relatable. Great use of the prompt and great story.

    • Sounds like they bought their furniture from Ikea. Matt this was a nice peak into a domestic home life situation. Just hope the bed doesn’t collapse when they get in it.

    • Hey Matt and how goes it? This is a cool take on the word prompt, I am sure you will get a lot of resonance with half the site 😀 I like the line ‘That’s because the floors were uneven, obviously,’ because I’ve used it in pretty much the same context before. Well done and regards, Seyi

    • Nice one Matt, you really brought the reader into the fray and held our suspense throughout the process. I love the man’s cockiness (haven’t we all been there? 🙂 )
      I might suggest you consider ending the story with him on the way to get the hammer. I think that ends with more power and you can find ways to use the additional words elsehwere in your story….just a thought.

  • Chantel – Thanks for writing and sharing. How hard up is this guy for money? Let me with more questions than answers. Is this a piece from a bigger story? Thanks! – Matt

  • Brian – Thanks for writing and sharing! I usualy am not a fan of historical or timepieces, however, this was easy to read and kept my attention. I would gladly read more to see what happens!

  • Lauren – the first word that came out of my mouth after reading was, “interesting!” Definitely not a direction I expected but it was easy to read and follow – I have so many questions about the content and would read more!

  • Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment! – Matt

  • @ckuninThanks for the feedback, Christy! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment! It was something I did think about and wanted to try in an attempt to further push the character into identity loss etc – but it didn’t work ahahah Thanks! – Matt

  • Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment! – Matt

  • “But, that doesn’t make any sense,” Dad spoke abruptly, “How could there be a monster in your closet? Or under your bed? Or in your toy chest? It is just nonsense, Lily. We don’t have time for nonsense, I have […]

    • I love these monsters. What a bunch, like hoodlums from the South Side, “Hey chief.” They also reminded me of the sharks in Finding Nemo – well done with that – great characters. I really enjoyed the interaction between them and the dad and of course Phil. Dying to know what that was all about. Nice job man. Specifically, I don’t really look too hard for mistakes. If I read a story and enjoy it, I’m happy. Since you asked, I did notice a single typo – this word. About 7 paragraphs down, “signed”. It’s amusing because I’ve made this mistake myself too many times. But good one, I give it a like. 🙂

    • This was a fun and creative take on the prompt. In my mind these were Monsters inc type monsters. I found that the use of Dad for your main character, rather than giving him a name was little stilted, but other than that it flowed well.

      • @ckuninThanks for the feedback, Christy! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment! It was something I did think about and wanted to try in an attempt to further push the character into identity loss etc – but it didn’t work ahahah Thanks! – Matt

    • Good job, Matt. I loved your monsters. You crafted a funny yet poignant tale. A balancing act that’s not easy to accomplish. So I’m giving you two thumbs up! 👍👍

    • This definitely didn’t go in the direction I thought it would! This is a sweet tale, and I hope you write more about the monsters. I would suggest breaking up the large paragraph where they are rummaging through the snacks–having that be a lot of separate dialogue would add to the chaos of the scene. Thank you for sharing!

    • Again another story I am happy you expanded. You were able to make the Monsters more relatable and different and wonderful. I have to say at the beginning the girl said that it was some woman in the photo but then as she was going back to her room at the end she said she missed mom. So was that not mom in the photo? that was the only think I was unsure of. Great job.

    • Bryan replied 3 days ago

      This was a great story with a nice twist that I didn’t see coming. Your hook line on the previous page got my attention and I wasn’t disappointed. I would have liked to attach a name to your main character other than Dad but other than that this was a thoroughly well done story.

    • Hi Matt
      Firstly, absolutely charming story. I love the characters and realness you’ve given the monsters, and you communicated the relationship between father and daughter extremely well. I do agree that when you mentioned a ‘woman’ in he photograph rather than ‘mother’, it sort of detaches Lily’s emotion from it and makes it a little confusing, and I also think giving the dad a name would be a good idea, to give him a sense of identity and to make the prose flow a little more naturally. And I’d love to know more about the different purposes the monsters serve and why, though obviously the word count prevented that. It’s something you can maybe think of expanding on. It’s a brilliant world you’ve created. I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Very well done.

    • This was an excellent story again Matt! Just as before I had no idea where you were going with it and I was surprised at where it went. The whole flow was fantastic, really pacy and I just adored the Monsters. I also like that you didn’t give Dad a name but simply refer to him as ‘Dad’, it sounds like a simple thing but I found it very effective as well. You managed to keep the interest at Peak levels from the moment you mentioned the funeral food but did so in a very subtle way that I think is hard to come by. It’s a very minor point but as you like constructive feedback I thought that as the story was so interesting and unusual I wonder if your title could have given more of the idea of what the plot would involve so as to do it justice? Well done again!

  • Christy – Thanks for writing and sharing – very interesting take on the prompt. I am always interested in seeing someones take on a classic. I appreciated the detail. Had to re-read the ending a few times to let it sink in, might want to make it a little more clear – just my perspective so if you disagree that is totally cool! Thanks again and…[Read more]

  • Michael – Thanks for writing and sharing! You created a world here. I appreciated the balance of humor and detail. Food for thought, less is more, there were a few times where I got caught up on descriptions or extra wordiness – just my opinion – and if you disagree than disregard haha – great piece all in all! – Matt

  • Amy – Thanks for writing and sharing! I really love the balance of humor and detail. There is a lot to unpack in this post. The point of view was spot on, really sucked me into it! Thanks! I would read more about this! – Matt

  • C – Thanks for writing and sharing. Repetitive, but kept my attention. Great take on the prompt, is this something you have had experience with before? – Matt

  • “What the hell happened last night? We were supposed to go to my parents for dinner, and you never showed!” Tara exclaimed, stamping her foot. “Then, I find you on the fucking lawn like a drunk piece of shit? What […]

    • Oooh, Rod, the poor bugger. Had he been my boyfriend or husband, I would’ve been just as livid and “sweary” as Tara though! The dialogue between the characters is very good. There are a few minor typos and grammar issues – parents should be parents’ for example, but nothing that a bit of editing won’t smooth out. Thanks for sharing! – Rachel

  • Maria – Is this a piece to a bigger story? I like where it is going! – Matt

  • Awesome use of the prompt – lots of tension – keep it up! – Matt

  • Glen – Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment! Working on what happens next! – Matt

  • Beth – I agree – let’s see what’s in store for him next! – Matt

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Matt Bates

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@yourfriendmatt

active 2 days, 15 hours ago