Hi, Georgiana Great story. We all hold onto things from loved ones that we should probably let go of. the story takes the reader through her grief and lets the reader see progress and growth from her. I agree that these caring characters deserve to be continued? will she fall in love with the buyer, or become a famous artist, or keep the bike…[Read more]

Hi, Karina Nice story. It was an easy read. I felt the MC’s anxiety, Coco limited intelligence, and the boss’s reluctance and discomfort in dealing with personal issues. Very well written. You did a nice job of “showing” instead of “telling” on this one. Thanks, Sharon

Hi, Martin Such a lovely piece. So thoughtful and kind. We need more of these stories in our lives. I perhaps read more into the story, but I gathered that the little girls mother had passed away and he was able to understand her loss because he had suffered also. It was beautifully written, and it is one that will stick with me. My story is…[Read more]

Hi Hanna, love this story. Didn’t know you could write humor. I caught myself laughing at quite a few spots: the chewed down fingernail, the dog and the coffee grounds, broken credit card, just a new neighbor with poor hygiene, thinking he could steal her identity from the library card, and the misunderstand when he asked his dog to sit. Very…[Read more]

Thanks, Bev. I didn’tt realize I was bringing in the supernatural casually. Makes it sound like I did it on purpose, which I assure I had no idea that is what I was doing. So Thanks. I mentioned the bit about Becca’s mom to add a little suspense. Glad you liked it. Thanks again, Sharon

Thanks, Karina Hanna mentioned my POV switch also, so I’ll be sure to fix it pronto. I am glad you liked the twist about JR’s abilities. I am interjecting his character from a previous book (last years) hoping it will work. We shall see. Thanks for keeping up with my characters. I am trying to keep them interesting.

Thanks, Hanna I am glad you enjoyed the scene. I knew when I wrote it that I was switching POV’s. It is a major problem with me and I’ll try to do some editing now. My book from last year is called “Erasing the Future” and the book this year is called “Drawing the Future” and I am doing some intermingling with the two. I am not sure it will…[Read more]

Thanks, Georgiana I looked forward to hearing your comment, because I hoped you would pick up on the connection. I was careful to not mention JR’s last name because I knew you would put two and two together. What do you supposed JR’s first name is? Think hard, what does the “J” stand for? I like where this is going. it is fun to sit down and…[Read more]

Hi, Hanna OH – the plot thickens. Good suspense building. When I read your scenes, they go so quickly. I don’t think I read them any faster that the others, but it is so easy to read and has me intrigued the whole time. Very well written. this would be a book I wouldn’t want to put down. Bit confused about the pendant. Wasn’t it stolen…[Read more]

Hi, Georgiana Nice scene. I agree with Cobus about the dialogue. It is right on the money. I like how honest they ae with each other and how no topic is off limits. When they think back about how they don’t have as much energy as the kids, it is right on. When they get to the cliffs or shoreline, make sure you give a lots of description…[Read more]

Hi, Elizabeth I read the scene and have trouble believing that Amanda would really listen to static all night. She is too smart to do that. I can’t see your character being stupid. She is an intelligent woman with a degree and she would not let herself listen to static all night. So to me as a reader, it goes against how you have developed her…[Read more]

Hi, Karina Good scene. I can’t imagine having to sit in a drop off lane. I am afraid I would be the one to rebel and try to figure out a solution. Jack seems to have figured out how to stay out of the line. Moody is processing all the things and people she doesn’t like about her life. It was a good scene because now we know what she is…[Read more]

Hi. Julie sorry to be so late in getting to your story. I have read all your previous scenes and am intrigued by where the story is going. I haven’t commented on the previous weeks as I was just trying to get caught up

Hi, Julie This was a well written scene. it was easy to follow and the dialogue worked very well. I am glad she has a friend like Kay. Roman seems a little too pushy for her right now, but he is just excited. Thanks for the scene, Sharon

Hi. Julie i enjoy this scene. When you put the dates and months by the paragraphs, it was off a little. I read that they were going to meet at the funicular (They seem to be just getting to know each other), then it says June and she is already pregnant. I think more time would have passed before she thought she might be pregnant. I wouldn’t…[Read more]

Hi, Julie I am just getting caught up with your story. I have read all the previous scenes. I copied them and pasted them into a doc so I could read them all at once, so I wasn’t able to comment. I am enjoying the story, and the only thing I would suggest is to keep the reader grounded. When you add the dates to your scenes, it is confusing.…[Read more]

Hi, Estelle What a delightful story and I love the adventures of these two. It reminds me of The Magic Treehouse children’s book series. I used to red it to my young kids at school. You write very believable dialogue for the boys and the pirates had just enough “pirate speech” to make the story entertaining. This could be a really cute…[Read more]