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  • Hi June,
    Glad you liked that bit… I was trying to think a way of breaking the structure I’d established and that was what came to mind. I was worried it would come across as trite, but thankfully it does not seem to be the case.

  • Hi Pam,
    Thank you for your lovely comments. I guess this might be something that will hit many of us at some time in the near future as we face our own decline and that of those dear to us.

  • HI Penny,
    While I am happy it resonated with you I’m sorry you went through that tough time. Yet when the change is slow we do learn, bit by bit, to adapt, don’t we? Thanks for reading and commenting!

  • Hi June!
    Ah I remember this one. Kudos on being able to rhyme purple with circle! This give great visuals and I particularly liked “The fish came alive with its death in it”, but I must admit “upstream” as regards to the ocean and sea caught me as odd and a bit forced to rhyme with ice-cream. I know the ice-cream reference is from Hemingway,…[Read more]

  • HI Penny,
    At first I was thinking the current isolation, but this goes far deeper. I like the repetition of the attempts to be strong, yet remaining fragile, soft, like an unopened oyster that no one knows contains a pearl. It also makes me think of all of the poems and stories I am privileged to read here, (Just us), that the wider world may…[Read more]

  • Oh wow, talk about self-revelation, awareness, reconciliation. This body, this fleshy self, bare to its soul trying to become whole again. To write such as this gives great release, to share it shows great courage. Magnificent. I particularly liked this section:
    while i was waging our wars
    on all the wrong fronts
    pushing your body – my b…[Read more]

  • Hi Pam,
    Well done with the updates! I particularly liked “learned by heart in your head, recited and sung in silence to the bedsprings above.” as well as your addition of AWOL to show the MC’s integrity was not compromised. Just a suggestion, because I like the visuality poems, there’s a feature of Word to format all lines to the same length,…[Read more]

  • I’ve learnt to adapt

         To your grandmother’s bones emerging from your face

    I’ve learnt to adapt

          To enunciate words five times with increasing volume

    I’ve learnt to adapt

          To re-washing the w […]

    • Wonderful, Teresa. I love the whole poem, but this is excellent: ‘I’m learning to adapt / To being knife and fork to your spoon / where once we were a pair of chopsticks’. It’s a brilliant analogy. This is so well done. Thanks for sharing.

    • This is a fabulous poem, the repeated line, ‘I’m learning to adapt’, works its own magic for a person who has to live with someone who is growing old and possibly losing their memory – ‘I’m learning to adapt/ To being the one remembering”. Learning to adapt in so many ways: To having to witness the physical changes, having to take on the work, to being more adaptable in concert with the other. I love the last two lines. There is a great sense of acceptance and compassion without sentimentality. Thank you for sharing.

      • Hi Pam,
        Thank you for your lovely comments. I guess this might be something that will hit many of us at some time in the near future as we face our own decline and that of those dear to us.

    • Hi Teresa

      Love your poem, I was in a similar situation for 7.5 years, and your words moved me. The repeated line -“ I’ve learned to adapt” creates a space for pondering the accompanying sentence.
      Favourite line – “To being the only one remembering” very nice poem!

      • HI Penny,
        While I am happy it resonated with you I’m sorry you went through that tough time. Yet when the change is slow we do learn, bit by bit, to adapt, don’t we? Thanks for reading and commenting!

    • Hi June,
      Glad you liked that bit… I was trying to think a way of breaking the structure I’d established and that was what came to mind. I was worried it would come across as trite, but thankfully it does not seem to be the case.

    • Wow, what a powerful image – the grandmother’s bones emerging from your face. That one is going to stick with me forever. This is a beautiful poem, Teresa, poignant and quiet, with such a strong pull.

    • Hello Teresa,
      The more I read your poem, the more I get from it. It makes me feel very emotional. It’s a brilliantly crafted poem, telling about life with dementia as it is.

    • Hi Terri

      Brilliant.
      A sense of the sacrifice without all the drama,just a resigned acceptance.
      The knife/fork/spoon/chopstick imagery speaks volumes.
      Lovely piece from you xx

  • Thanks Adam, yeah I had to come up with a reason why this woman would seek such an encounter. As Kim pointed out to me the why is what really makes it. Thanks for leaving your comfort zone to read my work.

  • Thanks June
    I was trying to toe the line so as not to cross over from erotic to pornographic. The real challenge, after all of these assertions that this is a genre for me is to be able to repeat the process. Wish me luck!
    Teresa

  • Hi Paul,
    I’m not sure if this is a shining example of how it is done or a strong case of beginner’s luck when trying a new genre. Thanks for your lovely comments!
    Teresa

  • Ah inspired by the reception it received (I hope it’s not simply beginner’s luck) I’ve set myself a challenge to write a collection of similar pieces. Maybe if I can pull that off, then I can think about sending it somewhere. Honestly I mostly write for fun or catharsis without any intent to publish.

  • Oh Paul “applied himself to his task.” sounds so perfunctory. Give more free reign to Eros. I realize it’s an early draft, should the name of the perfume be capitalized? (maybe not if that is Dior’s way, just not one of my brands). The feel was kind of that both were using each other to get even with Tom. I’m not sure if that was your intent.

  • Hi Seyi! I have to say you inspired me to push the envelop and try this genre as you are so edgy in your writing. So kudos belong to you. I think this is fun to write (not scary), so I think I may play some more in this area. So Dominique is typically a female name. I’ve written a couple more (today) same genre where I deliberately use…[Read more]

  • Hi Pam! Wow you worked Hernan into the story. I’m guessing that even though mummy and daddy were there the real Santa was the nurse. Thinking on Ruth’s comment you could just reverse the last two sentences. One tiny thing that caught me and I had to re-read was when Rabbit wanted a Pony ride then she wondered what she would get for…[Read more]

  • Thank you Susan, I never spotted that glitch and I’ll fix it up right away. It’s the end of my second year in DWF and I keep casting about to find a style or voice and I wasn’t sure how this would play out (would it be censored out?) but so far the feedback has been great. Then again people who might read it an hate it could be ghosting it. Who knows?

  • Thank you thank you. I wasn’t sure how this would be received. I guess you’ve never heard of the butterfly I allude to but don’t adhere to. (I’ll PM it so you can look it up). It was honestly gratifying to write (take that any way you wish).

  • Hi Pam,
    This was an experiment to see what, if any emotional response I would invoke in readers (trying for a wide range), and a foray into a genre I’ve not tried. Thanks for being brave enough to read and comment!

  • Talk about a punch in the gut. I’ve never heard of autofiction so now I have something to explore. The “burned and scattered” sets the tone so well and recurs in the ever-present scorched emotions. Really should be published. Honestly great literary fiction… have you ever heard of Harper’s Magazine? Send it to them!
    Harper’s M…[Read more]

  • The biggest creature, and that was before it got off his knees! What a fight sequence! Fantastic visual language makes the movie play in my head. Keep going with this, seriously move over Marvel, Seyi is coming to get you!

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Teresa

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@tmprez5957

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