This is a story which really defines “bitter sweet”. This issue is one where the process is inevitable because the son has distilled it out after a number of years. Just, to the mother, the result is seemingly impossible and, if not so, then negates all she did as a parent.
“you are burying your son, one memory at a time”. Oh, oh oh!
Terrymac commented on the post, What Lies Hidden – The Quest for Obsidian's Stone by Kim 1 year ago
Pretty scary for me. Opulence and evil go hand in hand. This is part of a longer tale I think. It promises a lot.
I think either “Jarae” to begin and “she” or “her” thereafter. There’s nobody else and no dialogue so “she” will do.
Are these telling or showing:
she nearly lost her nerve and ran
She hadn’t before considered that the r…[Read more]
One has to be careful with the tales of incompetence authorities and black people. There is no doubt that this situation exists but it can become a cliche. The “old confused man” but who still has strength and is from a rural background and is not wise in the ways of the world is a very old theme. No reason not to use this theme but retelling it…[Read more]
This is a good story. The suggestions of illness while not saying what it is other than it’s obviously terminal. The subtle setting of the story in the USA. A very fine ending.
We are often told that God is not a narrator. God is the only one who knows and sees everything. As a consequence, since we are not God. Thus “he felt like shroud of…[Read more]
I suppose that not that many people in today’s world know who Herman Charles Bosman was. Some may have an idea, a vague recollection, lying in the back of memory along with items such as slide rules, bell bottom […]
Finally! You got sorted. Very glad to see your story here
I found it rather sad, both that you tried to make a beautiful woman care, but who clearly couldn’t and for her part, that the only things that interested her seemed rather superficial. Clearly you were mismatched, and yet you still recall her with fondness.
I would say the better analogy is to say she was like a gilt-edged envelope but once opened the receiver found no letter.
A few typos , another pass at proofreading would sort that out.
Thanks for sharing this intimate account
Ps: I love your description of a Highveld thunderstorm….it’s exactly like shotgun pellets firing off-great imagery in that line!
I absolutely adore the weight of the analogy of the well. Well woven as to summarize the larger story. He kept throwing for as long as he could.
We need to be validated, all of us, and this man valued his the intellectual over the physical, while the girl was opposite. Their juxtaposition creates a nice thread of tension throughout.
Thank you for sharing.
I’m so glad I found your story. It is beautifully written! I love the language of the story, the contemplation and the attention to details. The dynamic of the characters creates a tension that carries the story really well. Like Kim said, another pass through of proofreading would be great, but otherwise, I think you have a great story. Well done!
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He woke on the beech and stood up carefully. It was low tide. There was flotsam everywhere as well as many contorted bodies. He walked along the shore and picked up an intact two litre plastic coke bottle and […]
An aerobatic pilot wrote that in aircraft flight it is possible to recover from any position from any location in the sky. He wrote about how it could be achieved in flight – climb to a good altitude and […]
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