Tricky topic to write about, so good job doing it well. All the stuff about bribes, councils and so on felt a little above my paygrade. I had no trouble following it (just didn’t care about it), I guess you wanted to show what his father was doing to give his son something he didn’t want. The wife felt very weak as a person, and I suspect the father is very domineering. So many layers happening in this story.
I can never understand why parents can’t just let their kids enjoy life and do what they want. As a parent your only job is to leave good memories for you kids (a quote from a movie). Not drive them away.
Nice one, that’s the second story this month dealing with suicide under the freedom prompt. 😉
Question: How does the astronaut image relate to this story? Or did you upload the wrong file… 😉 Or did I miss something.

I enjoyed your writing style here, the phrasing of your narrative. I agree with Michael that you could tighten up on the bribery end of the story. I liked how you show the mother speaking with a neighbor through the window, how you have her self-isolated from both father and son.I would live to know more about the son, more about the writing with bubbles – what is sketched there? I love these lines: ‘Freedom is costly,’ a character was saying. ‘If you can’t buy it,’ said another, ‘then steal.’
Is this a standalone or the start if something larger? Either well, a great read.

Such a tragic story and not the ending I expected. The astronaut image sort of fooled me into thinking the son had either been abducted by aliens or run away to pursue another career path altogether.
I think a small reference to the argument could have been mentioned earlier = something like ‘He was on familiar territory now, bargaining with clients, sidestepping their every move. If only the same could have been said during his argument with his son earlier that evening…’ that kind of thing.
Your style of writing reminds me of an excellent author of years gone by – but I’m afraid I can’t bring the name to mind – I remember reading one of his short stories about a man with one of the fatal gastro-intestinal diseases watching a tiger drinking from a stream. Maybe you know who I mean….
The use of the prompt is very good and quite subtle when I think back to the scribbled words in the notebook. I liked the title too.

This is so rich and powerful, exploding with imagery. A prose poem compelling and provocative and so terribly sad and yet…exquisite.

Your writing is so poetic. I especial loved this sentence: “A finch tries to match the play of its tail with the amplitude and frequency of the oscillating paddies.” For its poetry. I also loved how you described his mother pleading outside his door until she lost her voice. “Ma pleaded till her failing voice could.” One phrase that I didn’t quite understand was, “on the roof of his landlord”. Very well written. My heart ached for your main character between his inner torment and his desire to just be accepted for who he was. His last thought of being ashamed because he was naked was very telling.

This is very dense, Tapan. Full of evocative descriptions. I can’t say I understood a lot of it, but it felt like you were writing a stream of consciousness, rather than a story. Thanks for sharing.

Hi Tapan,
How are you? It’s been a while.
This is a very touching story – layered in emotions and intrigue.
I suppose yes, in death we are all equal. And death doesn’t care. How sad that in life that that can not be the case.
I like how you used second person here for the narration, it makes it really close and personal for the reader. And beautiful imagery as always in your story.
At death, the maya, or illusion is lifted – I hope our guy will find his place in the sun, and his happiness.
Well done and thank you for sharing.