Dear Jan

I liked the world building and vulnerability of the characters which are mighty otherwise. As I have not read the preceding tales, it was not easy for me to place them in the world they are in. I will wait for this to be built up into a novel and enjoy the credible images you create through your words. All the best!

The story is well crafted. It follows all rules of a good story, well etched characters, interesting settings and a twist in the hand. The concept of a hunter head-hunting a professional to put her career at jeopardy, though, seems stretched. If a motive of Chuck to hunt the protagonist down and spoil her career through two things she can’t…[Read more]

“Didn’t occur to them they’re not identical and are opposite genders.” A gem of a line in its unraveling of mundane into funny.
Enough has been written above this story. I will not add. This story can feature in a story writing class as it has everything right. Almost copybook in its structure (start to evoke curiosity, middle to settle with a…[Read more]

Dear Nina

I liked the scene unfolding like an episode of a long web series. It sure has that potential. Use of store is creative and unexpected. Orphaned Soshona is portrayed well. I hope it becomes a longer and complete story on its now (sans the prompts). Thanks for sharing. It was quite educative for me.

Mucho gracias, Jan, to come back and read my story. I am glad that my words could speak to you

Thanks for reading it June. I am sorry that my intent couldn’t reach you

Gracias! I am glad that my intent could reach you Jennifer

Gracias! Your encouragement means a lot to me

Thanks for your observations

Thanks Gold! It’s an honor to listen to such encouraging words from a fellow writer.

Pretty intriguing narrative, leaves the reader craving for more. Episodic cliffhanger almost! The first rule of fiction writing is that there is no rule, I had learnt this long time back. So Mia, don’t whip yourself over it (as in reply to one of the comments above). I like this genre much. Visual elements could be further enhanced

Decadence was almost Roman! Gradual, spiraling down, till it reached abyss. I wonder how much of work was getting done there! Quite an amusing story! My setting this month is similar, and the tone is of decadence. I liked the pets getting center stage towards the end of the story and couldn’t help thinking about the privileged position some people…[Read more]

I enjoyed the ambiance! Ms Botha (not Mr) as the ever demanding client will stay in my mind. I smiled throughout the story, chuckled at a few places. The world of cerebra mapping to the virtual universe is quite a fun take! Well done

Narrative is anchored in reality. Sentences are well formed, good choice of words to explain Miranda’s situation. The narrative seems a part of a longer fiction, and thus, the end could have been more of a cliffhanger, an episodic revelation of death of a relationship. The narrative has potent ingredients to build up to an intriguing narrative. I…[Read more]

Quite a climax! An innocent victim, POV of a conniving crook, the exact details of a boardroom, all worked so well in the hands of an experienced writer like you. I learned a thing or two from this reading. Thanks for sharing!
And Pleasance is such a contrary surname for the CFO! Those guys are anything but pleasant

It seems personal and loss is palpable through the words. Elaborate preparation builds up much expectation and put to rest, no pun intended, in the end. I felt emotional as a reader. Details are much and at one point, I was getting distracted. In another draft, is it okay to replace some details with a few anecdotes with the mother? It may make…[Read more]

Are you a practicing scriptwriter? For it sure felt like one fast paced scene. Powerful visuals, speed in telling. Nice!
Just that it felt like a part of a larger story. I could not place the context right.
Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for your observation Nina. I struggle in keeping sarcasm concealed in my voice in real life, though! Hasn’t fared well for me in work life