Me,too. And exhausted…and exhilarated. I think I’ll write my story as the next 52 scenes. What about you?

Perfect. Don‘t change a thing.😊

Hi Becky, I like how you construct the dialogue between the members of the family. The banter, the little niggling, Freddy‘s excitement. You seem to have your characters well sketched and that shows here in an easy-going dialogue. Great scene!

Thanks Hanna. Yes, you spotted the conflict alright…I won’t spoil it for you 🙂 I’ve been trying to find your scene this week…

HI Patty, thank you for handling the party the way you did. We all know what happens, you give us plenty of hints but you’re not explicit. I wouldn’t have wanted to read that….I like how you’ve used the motif of home throughout the scene. Anton and Daria have a very different understand of what it is, as to Will and Laura and Christine when…[Read more]

HI Nina, what a big reveal about Arvilla and Frank. I admire that you found just the right touch of bittersweetness. I did wonder about Frank signing the letter “all my love”? For me, that’s a little too much emotion to be platonic…but maybe that’s just me.
Your language was beautiful throughout but this line is particularly beautiful: “Loud as…[Read more]

Nope, there won’t be a fire truck 🙂 glad you liked my scene. Thanks for reading!

Hi Debby, yes, I will definitely expand this in the first draft. I find it increasingly hard to write scenes in 500 words…thanks for reading.

Yes, we have a few drama queens in this story 🙂 Thanks for reading, Dolly!

Hi Sherry, do you mean the narrator‘s voice when you say you‘re not satisfied with the voice? In some parts the narrator sounds too grown up. For example, would Nixie really say, ’1948 maroon Plymouth‘? I think a child may mention the brand and the color, but probably not the year. Nixie might say, ’our old car’, or trusty, ’we‘ve had it since I…[Read more]

Oh my, that family has its share of conflict. I think you did a good job with the conversation between the sisters. The back and forth about Levi maybe being Freddy‘s father, and the need to come up with a story. Nancy is still too overwhelmed, Mary knows she needs to give something to her curious daughter. The push and pull motif is then also v…[Read more]

Hi Sherry, I have a suggestion – please feel free to discard this, since I haven’t read all of your book. If you want to end your book like this, then you’re basically having a circular structure, saying life is an eternal cycle for Eleanor and the kids, right? I think you just need to emphasize this motif more. This could be done by having Nixie…[Read more]

Sounds like a good plan! Are you going to write the book in the 52 scenes challenge?

Hi Sherry, is this really the end of the End scene?. Or is this a longer scene and we‘re just getting the beginning of it. It feels like that… Somehow I‘d like to see where they‘re going. I like your descriptions, all your scenes are so lifelike. And you take Nixie‘s POV so well. Well doen!

Hi Dolly, I‘m glad your characters settle into a happy ending, although it‘s not a traditional happy ending. The image of the tree is such a strong one! As is the fact that Sally chooses to paint in color now. I‘d love to hear more details about he picture.

Hi Becky, I think you did a very good job at giving us some introspection. I especially liked this line:“ A place where she didn’t have to pretend to know who she and where she fit within the small part of the universe that she occupied.“. I also liked the „toolbox“ of teenage Gretchen and the fact that she is aware of her tools. She‘s quite smart…[Read more]