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  • Thank you Yona, for reading my story and your lovely compliment. Truly appreciated.

  • Thank you your words really made my day. Put a smile on a dreary Monday

  • Thank you Martin for your very informative advise reading back some of the punctuation I have missed however in all honesty there are times when I am not sure when I should or shouldn’t use comma’s. Something I am most definitely going to have to work on and the shortening of sentences.
    I am truly happy that you did enjoy the story πŸ™‚

  • Martin and Profile picture of StellaStella are now friends 1 week, 3 days ago

  • Stella commented on the post, Silk by Sue 1 week, 3 days ago

    Hi Sue
    I enjoy the way you have written the story. I strongly feel your narrators disappoint of leaving alone and jealousy towards the unknown Laura more than her pain.
    I also felt for the ‘boyfriend’ in a way, taken from where she mentions the in-laws his age. I can only imagine the discomfort in that meeting for him, having to pick up his life…[Read more]

  • Sue thank you so much for your lovely comment. I am truly thrilled that you took the time to read and enjoy it, thank you

  • Love prevails by Stella#Drenched in sweat Chris reared up from the parks bench waking from his usual nightmare. Burying his head heavy like cement in his hands forced over and over to relive every moment of that […]

    • A touching and realistic story. One can feel Chris’ fear of meeting with Annie and her possible response – which turns out to be a humorous one. I loved it.

      • Sue thank you so much for your lovely comment. I am truly thrilled that you took the time to read and enjoy it, thank you

    • Hi Stella

      What I liked

      This is a good story with an excellent flow, setting the tale up well, good backstory and an ending that brings everything together nicely. I enjoyed the way the story pulled me along with it, as well as creating an emotional engagement too.


      What would make it even better

      The story is a bit hard to read with some sentences that would benefit from being shorter. There is also quite a bit of work to do on punctuation, both technically (like commas at the end of dialogue; dialogue continuations and also breaks in sentences, whilst staying in the one sentence. Here are some – though not all – the examples.

      β€œYep, sitting ducks here, mate” replied another. – comma ending dialogue
      Chris lay his friend down covering him with an army issue jacket – comma after ‘down’
      β€œI have let you down Alex. I don’t know any other way to keep my promise taking care of Annie,” Chris said looking up towards heaven. I am a scarred man, Alex, unable to fit back into society or find a job. – comma after ‘said’ and the dialogue seems to continue, but without any punctuation.

      These comments are upgrades to what is a great story.

      Thanks for sharing.

      Martin

      • Thank you Martin for your very informative advise reading back some of the punctuation I have missed however in all honesty there are times when I am not sure when I should or shouldn’t use comma’s. Something I am most definitely going to have to work on and the shortening of sentences.
        I am truly happy that you did enjoy the story πŸ™‚

        • Hi Stella

          Now worries, punctuation is something I had to learn along the way. Dialogue is still a mystery sometimes. There are plenty of online resources that keep it simple and as you review and correct yourself, if becomes second nature.

          This is not a bad place to be at all, for your storytelling is excellent.

          Martin

    • Stella what a perfect description. Those who have been in the heat of the moment, under an ambush in a bunker will thoroughly relate. Thank for sharing.

    • Hi Stella,
      You covered a lot of ground in this story, from the battle scene to the present to Chris’ childhood. As I got to the end of the story, I understood this phrase, but when I came across it, I was confused, “ but feared if he returned home she would find him and he wouldn’t be able to watch over her.”
      You did a great job with dialogue and your descriptions are written very well. Here is an example of a phrase I really liked, “ picked up his rifle and roaring with the ferocity of a lion exited the bunker.”
      You definitely move around in your tenses a bit so it was hard sometimes to understand which time frame we were in. I would suggest that you go back and proofread those.
      You wrote a very original story that was very absorbing!

  • Stella commented on the post, A Room Shared by Stella 1 month ago

    Hi Pat

    Thank you so much for your comment and good advise truly appreciated and glad you like the story line.
    Would it be cheeky to ask if you would comment on my misunderstood submission. I am still all so knew in the throws of writing and trying hard to do it well. Therefore hungry for feed back. I am not sure if it hasn’t been read or not…[Read more]

  • I loved your story, his name Freek and the afrikaans slipped in there I could imagine this boer dressed in his kaki best traipsing down the mountain (his backyard :). I also loved the mooi mooi reference. When my daughters were little girls they used to call the shoes they wore to church their moisy shoes and the name stuck for years. I had…[Read more]

  • Oh dear such sadness in this family and I didn’t expect the connection between them all. I do need to know why John fell apart. Why did he pull away from Abi all those years ago when he clearly did love her.
    Thank you I did enjoy your story.

  • Well done my friend, as in the comments you received I also love your use of words for describing scenes and situations.
    The sadness so real for a person who jumps in and helping is so unloved and misunderstood by undeserving people.
    Keep on keeping on πŸ™‚

  • wow. I enjoyed reading this, probably because it is all so close to home. Especially the fogging glasses part. I have had a couple panic attacks too and always leave the building sweating and flustered. I am sure normal breathing is linked to the body temperature control switch πŸ™‚
    I truly hope mask wearing is temporary and not our future.

  • Signs from a Loved One by Stella
    #
    Frustrated Angela slams her laptop closed after reading an article β€˜Signs a deceased loved one is still here’. Scouting her pretty garden, there is not one they had s […]

    • Stella,
      This sad situation is well described, her pain is evident. I am happy for the turn in her outlook at the end.

  • Hi, thank you for your comment
    Yes Jasmine is one of the personalities. Edward is the original.
    I am thrilled that you enjoyed reading my story. thank you your words made my day.
    πŸ™‚

  • Thank you Linda for your lovely comment truly appreciated. πŸ™‚

  • Stella commented on the post, My goals by Stella 2 months ago

    Hi Peggy

    Thank you for your welcome and your lovely comment.

    I will be genuinely grateful and accepting for all feedback good, bad and suggestive changes. πŸ™‚

  • Hi Randy
    I had a bit of a giggle at your comment, thank you for that. πŸ™‚

    It is all much simpler than a chimpanzee, possibly could have thrown one in the mix though
    Edward, however, was the original Captain but has abandoned ship and left the rest within him to get on with it. Not a case for Detective Morris by any means.

    I had fun with…[Read more]

  • Hi Randy,

    Thank you for your lovely comment. Much appreciated. πŸ™‚

  • Stella and Profile picture of BeckyBecky are now friends 2 months ago

  • Stella and Profile picture of PatrickPatrick are now friends 2 months ago

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Stella

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active 1 week, 2 days ago