• Hi Peggy,
    I am quite moved by your comment. From those above, you can see that this is unfortunately something that happens often enough to so many people, and in this time of social media, it can be achieved through just “ghosting” and not even getting any type of explanation at all…(my friends have had this happen to them).

    You should know…[Read more]

  • Hi Srivalli,
    I always admire a leap into new territory and using the cat as the narrator for the scene was an interesting idea. You write the action scenes well and it is easy to visualize it. I liked the comparison of the crunching of bones of the face cracked on the pavement to the animals that the cat eats sometimes. It made it easier to…[Read more]

  • Hi Hanri,
    Thanks for your comments. Yes, it’s fun to tie things neatly and admire the symmetry of the plot, but I took this story from a real life experience, so maybe it was easier to leave ends hanging but not feel like the story didn’t finish. Thanks so much about noticing the background-it was not easy to do.
    Thanks for reading and leaving feedback!

  • Hi Del,
    Yes, it is more about envy than jealousy-I was a little worried about that, but I couldn’t come up with a story I liked using just jealousy…I also agree with you that there are so many amazing writers on this site…There are so many stories I read that really stick with me. Thanks so much for your comments. It is hard to span a long…[Read more]

  • Hi Marcena
    Yes, adolescence and middle school are particularly awful for so many, I hated it. I am glad that you appreciated the character development. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  • Hi Srivalli
    Thank you very much for commenting on the story. I am happy that you didn’t find it too emotional, it’s a hard line to walk where you want the reader to feel but you don’t want it to be too much on the page. I really appreciate your POV on that. Thanks again!

  • Hi Kaiser,
    Thanks for reading and leaving your feedback. Yes, this could possibly be expanded, I will have to think about that. It was a tough story to write. Thanks again.

  • Hi Susan, wow! You had a strong preference here-and I find that very interesting. Although I tried to show their very different personalities and tried to balance their weight and their “fortunes” in life, you felt that there was a real imbalance. I will have to work on making Diane a little more sympathetic so that the reader can care when she…[Read more]

  • I found the story very sad because Mamie couldn’t be happy no matter what she did. She lived with the idea that the things she didn’t have were what would make her life better. It’s hard to know why Papie put up with it. Also, if she is so negative, how did she end up with the kids and her daughter in the first place? Wouldn’t she have just…[Read more]

  • I loved this take on the same old same old Cinderella story which is much more nuanced, and our hero advocates for herself so that “marriage” isn’t the prize. And I love the “Portly Prince”-A great modern twist with a much more modern message. Very well written, especially the rhythm with variation of short and long sentences. I especially loved…[Read more]

  • SM Prasad commented on the post, Silk by Sue 1 week, 6 days ago

    Hi Sue,
    This was a story where I felt sorry for the MC but also exasperated by her naivete and by her spending so much time being jealous of the wife when she was really not that important in this relationship. But a life lesson, I guess. I like the foreshadowing of the shopkeeper taking the money and not making any comments about the couple. At…[Read more]

  • Hi Stella,
    You covered a lot of ground in this story, from the battle scene to the present to Chris’ childhood. As I got to the end of the story, I understood this phrase, but when I came across it, I was confused, “ but feared if he returned home she would find him and he wouldn’t be able to watch over her.”
    You did a great job with dialogue a…[Read more]

  • Hi Kaiser.
    This was a sweet story and I pictures a Japanese Anime style animation that would go with this story were it to be animated. Its a deceptively simple story that has a lot of wisdom embedded about appreciating the roles we play in our lives. Very well written.

  • Hi Chantel,
    Thank you for your comments. Even though I know its part of life, I am struck by how universal this experience is for so many people.
    Since the characters are still alive, who knows? They may be hope yet. Thanks for reading and leaving feedback.

  • Hi Jes,
    Thanks for your comments. I liked the girl scout handbook part as well. It was the kind of advice that you would find in a 1970’s handbook that promised way more than it could ever deliver. The line that you singled out-so I almost took it out because I was afraid it was too much “telling” and not enough showing in a story with very little…[Read more]

  • hi fizza
    thanks for reading the story. i am glad you liked both characters – I tried really hard to balance them so it would feel like they had equal say…ty for your feedback

  • I love the title. And I found myself wondering whether the monster was real or an imagined embodiment of her anxiety that no none else could see. But of course, I was wrong about that. When Becky can’t get up that morning, was this part a plan of hers to get back Alice, or just a fantasy that the monster would get “Malice” or was it just what…[Read more]

  • Hi Cheryl,
    As the others have said, I love the visual and sensory nature of this writing. The hardness of the axe handle, the coarse braided beard, the agony of climbing the side of the mountain in the freezing cold, these are described so well, we are right there with Razorre. The shaking in the Olive tree, which Razorre writes off to “inventing…[Read more]

  • With SEX in the title, we need to see a lot more commenters really soon!!!

  • Hi Del,
    I really enjoyed this story. The observations the MC made about Suze and how they all had no “education” unless Suze taught them was great. And it seems that Carla may have been a bit of a fair weather friend although she was supposedly “non-sickly” nice…that was an excellent description of teen girl intrigue. I loved the code of not…[Read more]

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