fbpx
  • I have always felt that writing is free therapy. Writing that sells is when your neuroses dove-tail with the spirit of the times (I hesitate to use the word “zeitgeist” because that would be just putting on airs…)

    And regarding half written stories: I submit to you that none of your stories are “half written,” they are gestating, growing…[Read more]

  • Jealous Of by John Deighan

    #

    I nearly committed suicide the first week I was on. Some knucklehead forgot to dull my sex drive, so I fell in and out of ‘love’ fifteen times in six days. I should have been able to […]

  • Work it into the narrative. There are a lot of interesting events, but you need to make it personal, something *of* you, not something about you. How you felt about the event.

  • Nicely done. A suggestion: is there a special memory or event attached to any of these? Something with an emotional tie? A gift of a handkerchief to a boyfriend, a memorable meal for some reason. That would “set the hook” for me.

  • sooooo I’m a little late to the party, but here goes.

    Have you ever read “A Clockwork Orange” by Anthony Burgess? He throws this Russian slang at you like a fire hose. I had the same (enjoyable) experience reading this. I kinda/sorta come from the “spook” side of all this, whilst “fighting” the Cold War and the Union Formerly Known as Soviet. I…[Read more]

  • WTC Exercise 1, or Great Expectations by John Deighan

    #

    I could tell you about how I went back in time to kill Hitler (it didn’t go well) or how I was kidnapped by aliens (we reconciled, but she still has […]

    • I appreciate your dad humor. Keep it up! I think you summed it up, we need to keep writing the crap out of it–enough said. Good luck to you!

    • I keep typing that I am writing the carp out of it but that’s a little fishy… 😀

      Your goals are great but if you ever get around to writing the Joanie loves Chachi with vampires I will definitely be reading that.

    • Hi John, I’ll be following you as I bet your characters have a wicked funny sense of humor. Truth be told, your goals could be a bit more specific, perhaps even SMART. You’re giving yourself way too much leeway for procrastination. What are you really wanting to get done? (Or perhaps, your goal in writing is just an outlet for your funny bone, and if so, that’s okay too!) I can’t wait to read you stuff.

    • Hi John, I’ll be following you as I bet your characters have a wicked funny sense of humor. Truth be told, your goals could be a bit more specific, perhaps even SMART. You’re giving yourself way too much leeway for procrastination. What are you really wanting to get done? (Or perhaps, your goal in writing is just an outlet for your funny bone, and if so, that’s okay too!) I can’t wait to read your stuff.

  • This is the only “wordy” goal set I’ve read all the way through. Adult ADHD, I guess, so that’s my failing, not yours. Anyway, good luck here, and keep writing!

  • John Deighan changed their profile picture 5 months, 2 weeks ago

  • Nicely done. A nit to pick:
    1: show, don’t tell —
    She couldn’t help but feel a little nervous about what lay ahead.
    maybe:
    Her hands trembled slightly, and she fumbled with the car ignition key.

    All in all, though, a good start. Needs some kind of resolution to the pent up animosity between mother and child. Looking forward to it.

  • Didn’t know about Submittable, THANK YOU. Good luck and keep plugging (sorry, I’m re-using that bit of encouragement. Good writers create. Great writers steal, er, edit).

  • Good luck on your journey! Keep plugging!

  • So let’s go with the good, the bad, and the ugly.
    The Good: Wow, strong opening. Stephen King worthy. Gathering dread, leading to…
    The Bad: Nothing. No payoff. No jump scare. You switch gears to give us a happy ending.
    The Ugly: Be mindful of your genre. Is this “autobiography”? Keep the first night terror section short. Is this horror? The…[Read more]

  • A 300 word gut punch. Nicely done. Withholding the towel at the end was a nice touch.
    MY OPINION ONLY: this line:

    “Why don’t you ask him?!” Kerry rebuffed after a long pause.

    might be better this way?

    Kerry’s voice came after a long pause, it was flat, like a death sentence. “Why don’t you ask him?”

    I enjoyed reading it!

John Deighan

Profile picture of John Deighan

@singularblue

Active 1 month, 2 weeks ago
Short Story balance: 0
Poetry balance: 0
WTC balance: 0
52 Scenes balance: 0