• Hi Terri
    Wooo, that’s hot and steamy stuff! Well written flowing style with interesting character revelations – ” I feel a lump, and my fingers move to explore it. She opens her mouth to speak and I stop. She knows it’s there. She fears it. This is what has made her bold.” The reader’s heart goes out to her. Thanks for sharing.

  • O dearie me! Poor Ted to have such a horrible affliction. But you wrote a very funny story and you captured the holiday season in it a most amusing way. I’m glad it ended on a happy note – FRAAAP 😉 😂

  • Hi Donal,
    A good example of, ‘No matter how far you travel you bring yourself along.’ The stress is palpable in what is not said and how what was said is taken up in a bad way. If only they could have a real rip roaring row to clear the air rather than the passive aggression and sarcasm. But that’s the whole point of this well written ‘holiday…[Read more]

  • Hi Ruth,

    Well, I thought the old fashioned names were those of the craftworkers. I was well and truly slow on the uptake right to the end! 😂 But it explained the dieting! A great yarn altogether.
    I wonder if you might think about italicising the parts where Hen, Mildred and Tom are talking just for a wee bit of clarity for the slow ones like…[Read more]

  • Hi Chris,
    A very interesting and moving story. I like how you unfold more information about Yuri as the story proceeds. I feel that this could become the template for a much longer story, even a novel. Thanks for sharing.

  • Sophie skipped and danced around the Christmas tree in the living room. She helped hang coloured baubles all around the lower branches while mommy reached up to the high ones. They would wait for daddy to come […]

    • Ahhhhhhh, with all the crap that’s been flying around the world this year I have to say I’m a sucker for a good old gentle, sweet, traditional Christmas story. Thank you for this, Pam. I especially love love LOVE (did you get that I love this bit?) the fact that she wakes up to just one present – so much more special that a ‘pile’ of plastic gifts 🙂 If I had any suggestion it would be to cut the final sentence. I think the penultimate sentence rounds it off nicely. Great job and Merry Christmas x

    • Teresa replied 2 days ago

      Hi Pam! Wow you worked Hernan into the story. I’m guessing that even though mummy and daddy were there the real Santa was the nurse. Thinking on Ruth’s comment you could just reverse the last two sentences. One tiny thing that caught me and I had to re-read was when Rabbit wanted a Pony ride then she wondered what she would get for Christmas… I thought at first the rabbit was expecting a new playmate. : D The child’s perspective and telling was really well done, you got a good sense of the world through Sophie’s eyes.

    • This is such a sweet story. At one point I thought Santa on his sleigh was going to swoop her up before she fell from the window. Just one teensy little thing – a South Africanism, ‘The one man told her he had to put a plastic collar on her neck’ this should be ‘one of the men told her…’ The way you’ve written it implies that there was only one man, when in fact there were at least two that I could determine. I loved the way you brought our local GP into your story. 🙂 Thank you for this easy, uncomplicated read.

  • Hi June,
    True, winter has its own beauty and I actually like walking in the country side and love the colours at this time of year. But I wanted to convey that in-between time when nature becomes all mouldy and manky and sludgy around Halloween time before one settles into the short days and long nights. Thanks for your comments and appreciation.

  • Hi Karin,
    Thanks for your positive comments. Glad you enjoyed it.

  • Hi Chantelle,
    Thank you for your positive comments. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  • Hi Chantelle,
    I really like this poem. The first two lines drew me in and immediately engaged my emotions. There is something chilling about the poem, knowing the moth will not survive to fly again (or if it did, a cat’s claws would be waiting). The “never-dark and never-silent cities” is kind of creepy too, and leaves the impression of a ghostly…[Read more]

  • At first I thought, This is a list poem, and wondered where it was going – but the last line sheds light and gives it meaning. Then on second reading I felt the soft gentle lightness which seemed to me to be a gentle healing and freedom. Well done.

  • Thanks Terri, I’m glad you enjoyed it. 😊

  • Hi Christian,
    Thank you for your positive comments. I’m glad you enjoyed my poem.

  • Hi Sue,

    I love the idea of bringing the light of charity/unconditional love into creative writing/music and art. It certainly shines out of your poem. Thank you for sharing.

  • Hi Megan,
    Such an honest look at a moment in a privileged white childhood. You capture very well the social/political atmosphere “The charged electricity/Of my hometown/Under summer siege”, as well as the weather. How well you write the order, “Lillian (her slave name),go look. That dog/Has no sense. He’ll get drenched.” and “Lillian” must go out…[Read more]

  • Thanks Jane, I’ll see if I can do it. Glad you liked my poem. 😀

  • Such a kind tribute to your friend. I feel the sorrow and the heartfelt appreciation in your words. May he shine forever.

  • I couldn’t seem to get the formatting right again. I don’t know if I can resubmit it?

  • Hi June,

    A beautiful, bittersweet poem. I love the way the prism brings light and colour to an otherwise grey and sad day. Thanks for sharing.

  • Hi Terri,
    This one got quite an emotional response from me (a gasp and long sigh). Yes, indeed, something we can’t ignore, even in the early stages. The rhyming word at the end of each line works well. Thanks for sharing.

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Pam Muller

Profile picture of Pam Muller

@pam-muller

Active 3 days, 3 hours ago
Short Story : 12
Poetry : 11
WTC : 0
52 Scenes : 0
Dialogue : 0
Flash Fiction : 0