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  • Hi Theresa,
    So although the story was based on a real event in another town a few years ago, I decided that our GP had a nice name and so he became the doc in the story.
    Mmm, I could repeat Sophie’s name in the place of ‘She’ to avoid confusion a la Rabbit. Thanks. It’s good to have people spotting these things. 😊

  • Hi Ruth,
    Thanks for your enthusiastic response and your comments and suggestions. Looking forward to reading more of yours in 2022

  • Hi June,
    Happy New Year! Thanks for spotting the ‘One man’ thing. It was a true story that happened to the daughter of a friend of ours some years ago.

  • Hi C Alexis, Thank you for your lovely comments. I’m glad you liked my story. 😊 Happy New Year and happy writing!

  • Hi Chantelle,

    Such a beautiful poem! I love the shapes you’ve created in your poem – “swaying on the/curve of the winds,” “… crests/ of waves or barren/

    desert dunes.” and of course the swallow’s wings and body shape. I love that adaptation doesn’t mean having to lose your essential self. In this sense adaptation is being resilient to…[Read more]

  • Hi Chantelle,
    Thank you for your kind comments and observations.

  • Hello Christian,
    Thank you for your generous comments. I’m glad you enjoyed it. 😊

  • Hi Jane,
    Thanks for your kind comments and for noticing the error in the last line. Many eyes and ears make a poem better. 😊

  • Hi Terri,
    Thanks for your comments and suggestions. I will check out the Word format you suggest. I think is is a good idea.

  • You’ve taken Hemingway’s novella and turned it into an epic poem, successfully and skilfully with rhythm and rhyme included. Well done, June.

  • This is a fabulous poem, the repeated line, ‘I’m learning to adapt’, works its own magic for a person who has to live with someone who is growing old and possibly losing their memory – ‘I’m learning to adapt/ To being the one remembering”. Learning to adapt in so many ways: To having to witness the physical changes, having to take on the work, to…[Read more]

  • Hi Karin,
    I don’t know why there’s a problem with the double print and there shouldn’t be 1977 brushes. I’ll see if I can repost it. Thanks for your comments

  • Hi Martin,
    Great take on the prompt. The repeat line is very effective in encouraging the main message of the poem. I love the day to day examples of where adaptation to spin the situation becomes a choice. Thank you for sharing this. 😊

  • Hi Sue,

    A thoughtful poem that gets the reader thinking. I love the message as well as the flow and rhythm of your poem. Excellent use of alliteration. 😊

  • Hi Jane,
    I really like your tricube poem! It may be short but it packs a powerful message which I want to read over and over again. Thank you for sharing.

  • Hi Christian,
    This is a beautiful and clever contemporary poem! I was intrigued by the right hand margin set up and then I read the message in the last word of each line – so clever. I agree with Symphony, you need to send this one in to a literary journal. Thank you so much for sharing.

  • Hi Deryn,

    This is a poignant poem that will resonate with everyone, I think. The last two lines convey the loneliness and despair underneath the ‘Life online – playing to the gallery’. A contemporary poem for a contemporary life of ‘new normal’. Well done!

  •  They expected you to leave behind your guitar, girlfriend’s kisses, your climbing boots, your long hair, free spirit, and sign the dotted line. Your body belonged to them now -And your soul? You had to march, tur […]

    • I don’t think we can ever underestimate how many scars were left by the normalisation of those inane conscriptions .
      I like the style you chose – unrelenting.
      On a technical side, your first line is lost by being printed over something else, so it’s not legible. Also, you might want to relook the last line – I don’t think the grammatical deviation was intentional.
      What I particularly like?
      ‘drop the 1977 brushes’; ‘risk their minds for someone else’s crazed idea’ and ‘sung in silence to the bedsprings above’ – the latter being a wonderful example of show, don’t tell.

    • Hi Karin,
      I don’t know why there’s a problem with the double print and there shouldn’t be 1977 brushes. I’ll see if I can repost it. Thanks for your comments

    • Hello Pam,
      This is a masterpiece of a poem. I was rivetted by the narrative and the way you tell it. It’s a powerful poem indeed.

    • Wow Pam, this one packs a punch. I like the way you chose to set it out, it is like a snapshot of the full year. It is also cleverly done to zero in on one individual and how it affected him. It is really well written and the background at the top helps the reader to know exactly what it is about.
      I agree with Karin that I think you omitted one word in the last line: Those uninvited ghosts still have the power bring unexpected resentment into your throat. – to bring
      Well done.

      • Hi Jane,
        Thanks for your kind comments and for noticing the error in the last line. Many eyes and ears make a poem better. 😊

    • Hi Pam,
      Well done with the updates! I particularly liked “learned by heart in your head, recited and sung in silence to the bedsprings above.” as well as your addition of AWOL to show the MC’s integrity was not compromised. Just a suggestion, because I like the visuality poems, there’s a feature of Word to format all lines to the same length, giving you a perfect square. It might add to the rigidity of the institution and the square peg in the round hole … feel free to ignore, just a thought.

      • Hi Terri,
        Thanks for your comments and suggestions. I will check out the Word format you suggest. I think is is a good idea.

    • Thanks for sharing this, Pam. It’s a topic that’s so often on my mind and I wonder about the long term psychological impact of these experiences. I like the question mark after “behind your soul?” It sets the tone for the rest of the poem – how much can they really take from you.? The recurrent theme of music worked well too – it’s a nice contrast to the rigidity and “control” of the military. I think you wrote an inspired poem, well done.

  • Hi Terri
    Wooo, that’s hot and steamy stuff! Well written flowing style with interesting character revelations – ” I feel a lump, and my fingers move to explore it. She opens her mouth to speak and I stop. She knows it’s there. She fears it. This is what has made her bold.” The reader’s heart goes out to her. Thanks for sharing.

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Pam Muller

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