• Thanks for the feedback. I’m glad it worked right the away I planned.

  • Thank you for the feedback. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  • This had unique conflict with the two characters, Molly and Ms Harris. They were not head to head, but yet you could tell there was a conflict of their relationship as teacher and student. The end of the story had a wonderful twist to it and lent an air of reality making it feel as if did really happen. Great job and keep writing!

  • This was a very good story. It brings up a strong set of emotions about family and what they mean. Seeing Vera’s change of heart and having the focus change did make it a bit disconcerting. Overall, it was a good work. Keep writing!

  • This had very strong imagery amidst the struggle of what a caregiver goes through, especially with an uncooperative patient. The little details of the ordeals Grace has to overcome and the guilt she must deal with just trying to cope are well written. Great job and keep writing!

  • I like the conflict between Professor Carpenter and Adam, and the final contrast with Greta and her top student. It makes for a good story. I also liked how you touched on the fears and difficulties of a changing world and the struggle within to deal with the change. Good job and keep writing!

  • The Portal by Otter Morryn

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    “I did it!” Ysuel shouted. She entered her brother’s dorm room and flopped on his sofa.

    “Did what?” Mekhal asked.

    “I opened a portal in class today,” she replied. “It was the b […]

  • The Sculptor by Otter Morryn

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    Delicate was his hand. Touching only what needed his caress to guide it into shape, forming to the music in his head. Even he did not know what the stone, metal, and wood would […]

    • Ah, what a sad tale. I feel like it’s part of a longer story ‘encapsulated’ here into the 500 words. I thought your dialogue was spot on and the relationship between husband and wife just gorgeous. It was so nice to read a piece that relied so much on the senses. Little typo in second last line ‘Where’ instead of ‘were’? And after all that wonderful dialogue ‘showing’ us the whole story, I thought the paragraph about the fire suddenly went a little into ‘tell’ mode. I wonder if you could have shown us this, too – he smelled the smoke, didn’t have his glasses, the terror of getting turned around, last wish that the family all got out – and THEN the EMT asking etc.? Just a suggestion. Really lovely piece of writing.

  • Rhonda, the emotions you portrayed in this piece are well done. They tug on you, draw you in and make you want to shake her son awake. I like the ending were she decides to make the changes so she gets what she wants, access to her granddaughter. Great job and keep writing.

  • Patrick, I loved the progression through the story of Bartosz as he learns his story. Imagination is the balm to writing difficulties. Great job and keep writing.

  • Ruth, the song of this story is the song so many have in their minds. I love all the back and forth self dialog going on. The ending was a little unexpected too. Great job and keep writing.

  • Laura, very creepy setup on this. It makes me wonder what the guest do and how they play into all of this too. I wonder if the police will ever find out. I echo Sharmayne’s comments in that keeping all through Bree’s eyes might make it even more creepy and give you more room to go further. This would be great as a longer piece, but does stand well…[Read more]

  • Thank you for your feedback. This was from a fire in a lightening struck field next to the woods near my house. I went to watch it grow back every day in the summer. It was fascinating. Strange what inspires us later in our lives.

  • Thank you for your feedback and reading of my work. I am a hopeful person and maybe I can pass it to others.

  • Very interesting take on the theme, and social commentary. The subtle talk back in the parenthesis are what make this work so very well. Great work and keep writing.

  • The memories this brings forward are wonderful. The images are spot on with the contrast of the white to the bright colors brought out by the “lil’ people” and their joy in playing. Great work and keep writing.

  • This evokes the senses, making one feel the images created in the work. The descriptions really tie everything together. Great work and keep writing.

  • The imagery calls forth the water of life and the swirls within it. It has a song like quality which makes it uplifting with hope , even to the end. Great job and keep writing.

  • Ekaterina’s Place by Otter Morryn

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    Fire sweeps away all her living things

    Rain comes and washes away the ashes

    Bare ground is left

    Do you dare step upon it

    The pristine soil

    Nothing to mar the s […]

    • We can only hope there will be a new carpet for us all to step upon once this pandemic fire has spent itself.
      I read this twice, not something I’m usually enticed to do. It paints a clear picture with the reminder of hope.

    • Hello OtterSilver, What a lovely theme for your poem – the natural rebirth that happens after a fire. I recall seeing severely fire-damaged countryside in Yellowstone, and being reassured that within a few years all would be renewed; that the best reaction to forest fire was inaction. Thank you for shining a spotlight on this.

      • Thank you for your feedback. This was from a fire in a lightening struck field next to the woods near my house. I went to watch it grow back every day in the summer. It was fascinating. Strange what inspires us later in our lives.

  • List of Short Story Goals by Otter Morryn

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    List of short story goals:

    write 12 short stories based on prompts, completing each by deadline and meeting the prompt parameters
    work on descriptive, poetic […]

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OtterSilver

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@ottersilver

Active 5 hours, 29 minutes ago
Short Story balance: 2
Poetry balance: 1
WTC balance: 2
52 Scenes balance: 0