• This story is coming along nicely. I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to see what will happen next. I’m looking forward to the next installment of this saga. I think the tension is building up very well and can be used to your advantage to propel you onwards into the next piece. Keep going! – Otter

  • This is a great story that tells of hope and heartbreak. The details are excellent and give the right framing to the time and place so you know the where and when of what is going on. The senses are activated by many points in this story, the bread, the button, Jarvis’s keen embarrassment. This was well thought out and done. Keep going! – Otter

  • What a lovely story. This strikes me a memoir from the POV or that sense of it. I love the switches between the generations and how the hopes for the future in the last generation are expressed. The reflection of the making the bread and how something new and perfect has finally come to pass after the hardships seen before is wonderful. Thank you…[Read more]

  • This is a very good start to something. I like how neither of them are completely telling the other every thing entirely and there is suspense on whether they will survive the weekend together or not. I think it brings out the characters very well. They feel like they are truly interacting with each other as if they have known each other…[Read more]

  • Very interesting story. I love the way that everything is decaying and falling to dust as he moves through the world. It was well done in how the bathroom scene was done in the end and the transformation was done. The last conversation was a bit confusing but could easily be cleared up with something breaking up the conversation a bit. I really…[Read more]

  • Jalirna moved carefully through the hallway around boxes and crates of various cargo and supplies. It was her first day and already they were having her put things in order that she did not understand. At least […]

  • Captain Glanger stood over her monitor watching the documents fly by, stopping them occasionally when one piqued her interest. Michaels joined her, staring over her shoulder wondering if he understood any of what […]

    • I loved the concept on which this story is based…about the courage one needs to be vulnerable. Your story flows well and has a good mix of description and dialogue. However, I was lost as to what the negotiations and the treaty were about…is this part of a series?

  • Very nice! This was a great story of intrigue and lawyers and how they work together. I loved the details you have of Jane recovering from her attack and also coming down with a cold or something like it. It was interesting to see her go into work mode once she was granted access to the files and her curiosity overrode her state of being. The…[Read more]

  • Wow, this is an exciting story. It ended on a cliffhanger and now I want to know more of course. What happened to Laura and Kevin? The details were amazing. It keep me reading and my heart pounding. It definitely showed that sometimes choices are foolish. This was a great read. Thank you.

  • This is a wonderful slice of life of these school girls. I really loved the details of the characters and how they are all interwoven together. I really loved the concept of making school a better place to be and to be fun and encouraging. I was lucky enough to go to a school that was and it was very helpful in developing me into a better person.…[Read more]

  • All I can say is wow! It had me on the edge of my seat to the very end. Now I wonder what happened to the others and if was ever stopped. Very good details of the thing that was haunting Melinda and then came full force on Tina and Liam. The contrast between the normal everyday and the horror scenes was perfect. I really loved it. Thank you for sharing.

  • “It’s so hard,” Dylan said to no one in particular.

    “Do it anyway,” came the voice of one of his roommates, probably Stacey. She was always after him to do his school work.

    Why did he have to pick something […]

    • Hi, Otter Morryn (OtterSilver),
      Thank you for sharing your fantasy story.
      To help with my gramma, I read my stories out loud with as little hesitation as possible. If I hesitate, I check the gramma. Also reading out loud tests the pacing and continuation of the story theme. I hope this will help. Most of all, keep writing, keep telling stories.
      Thank you once again.

    • Hi Otter,
      This was interesting to read. I guess the setting took more words as the fantasy part was limited to the last section of the story. I’d have loved to see more of the faeries. And even how the duo managed to replace the book. If you plan to continue this next month, it would be fun to see what Prof. Greenly does. (Nice name selection, by the way. He reminded me of an elf). 🙂

  • Srivalli : Thanks for the feedback. Yes and no on the programming flaw – it is that and more. Again, thanks. Have a great day.

  • Thanks very much for your valuable feedback. It is much appreciated by me.

  • Thank you so much for your valuable feedback!

  • Thank you so much for your valuable feedback!

  • Thank you so much for your valuable feedback!

  • What a great story. The descriptions gave a sense of place that was clear. The interspersion of the italicized dialog really moved things forward and helped drive the narrative. Really liked the ending, and how it wraps up the story completely.
    The images in the garden, across the sea, and of the houses was just the right amount to make you…[Read more]

  • Good continuation of the first part of the series. It has good descriptions and brings to mind the images of a time past, but it is not certain where exactly or if it is of this world. That is a nice touch because it makes it more believable and easier to fall into the story.
    The first meeting with the old man, no transaction happens, so not…[Read more]

  • Really good story, would love to see how this plays out in the long run, how the characters both change and grow as their plan comes to fruition. Some very good imagery with the descriptions of both the women, just enough to tell them apart but not so must that we can’t get our own picture in our heads.
    The only thing I would work on is…[Read more]

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OtterSilver

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active 1 week, 4 days ago