-
Oswald Henri Retief and
Bogdana are now friends 1 month ago
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, Temptation by R.L. Nel 1 month ago
Yesterday Dev told her about the blue blue sky, but all she could se was just another lemon tree. Fun read with a surprising twist 😂
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, A Moment by Priyanka Gupta 1 month ago
You sketch the new circumstances of the narrator well. Giving in to that temptation of swimming like the children seems to say that the narrator accepts her new circumstances. I like it, I would love a little more hints at their backstory, where they are from why they are there etc.
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, Thrown into your face by Hanrie Retief 1 month ago
Thank you so much!
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, The Quality Control Cowboy by Hanrie Retief 1 month ago
Thank you so much
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, The Quality Control Cowboy by Hanrie Retief 1 month ago
Thank you so much!
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, The Quality Control Cowboy by Hanrie Retief 1 month ago
Thank you so much
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, Postcards from the Void by Cobus Kruger 1 month ago
That sounds fun! I will enroll one day…
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, A Beach At A Canal by Ramon Martensen 1 month ago
Well I’m glad you’re trying different things. I enjoyed the story.
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, Abject City by Chantel Dresser 1 month ago
This is a very good idea. And I think you have a great MC. For me the setting of each scene and changes were difficult to follow and understand. But I think with a larger word count that might not have been the case. Well done!
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, A Beach At A Canal by Ramon Martensen 1 month ago
I like your internal monologue and the narration. It’s reflective and dare I say sarcastic. I think the short form is definitely suited for this story but it needs some more descriptions etc. I think one thing you may change is that dialogue, especially that of the narrator is being replaced by internalisation, and I think pure dialogue may be…[Read more]
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, Postcards from the Void by Cobus Kruger 1 month ago
I liked the mentally ill component of the story. I also think this is an idea that will work well for a full length novel.
-
Oswald Henri Retief wrote a new post, Thrown into your face by Hanrie Retief 1 month ago
She looks at me. The furrow in her brow growing deeper. Karin must be thinking that I didn’t hear her.
“Are you daft, Eugene?” She asks me. “Or just deaf?”
So, no that’s not what she was thinking.
I stare at […]
-
Very powerful story. I really wonder what she said (I guess the answer may be in the last sentence). The internal voice is very strong, as well as the contrast between the thoughts and the actual dialogue. It made me wonder what relationship they have. Well done!
-
Thank you so much!
-
-
So enjoyed the MC standing his ground. Excellent story.
-
Hello,
Great piece but I think you would do great to give more backstory and maybe another dialogue between these two characters.
Thank you for sharing! 🙂
-
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, The First Time by Priyanka Gupta 3 months ago
Very thoughtful tale of the first time. Sadly soany people experience this. The only suggestion I have is to read and correct missing words and pronouns.
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, Rounds by Lenore Butcher 3 months ago
Captivating story and narrator. Was it a zombie apocalypse? The first paragraph makes the second one confusing. I think the first one she is on the hill and the second one in the school. I think it needs a transition. And the three rusted wheels: if they literally don’t turn it would take forever to get the trolley from one place to another. Not…[Read more]
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, Sacrificing Paradise (Blue Breakthrough part 5) by Renee Shurilla 3 months ago
Wow what a good read. I can see it’s part of a bigger story but easily can stand up on its own. Really enjoyed it. Thanks
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, PRIDE TO WEAR BOOTS by claire 3 months ago
Lovely story. I’m glad for Chloe. I don’t have mucht to suggest. There are only small things which I am sure you will pick up on a re-write. Very heartwarming. Oh, the only thing I think the reader might want clarity on is why the girls were crying after the tournament.
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, The Bullhead Crown by Hanrie Retief 3 months ago
Thank you! You definitely saw to the core of the story.
-
Oswald Henri Retief wrote a new post, The Quality Control Cowboy by Hanrie Retief 3 months ago
I don’t believe in wearing any other boots than these quasi work-loafer mixture. Better yet if they’re slip-ons, epitome of comfort. The distinguished choice. Why cram your toes in those slim Italian numbers? The […]
-
There some deep humor in this tale, Hanrie, and in my head I can hear the music playing in the background as I read the story. Admittedly, it was a little hard to follow, but the imagery and the dry humor carried me through to the end and in the end, I was quite entertained. Thanks for that!
-
Thank you so much!
-
-
Fun story! I love the voice and the character that comes through in the language. At first I was confused about the presentation of the MC at work, but then the explanation of the bus came in and it was great.
Loved the dry humor and descriptions. Great first draft!-
Thank you so much
-
-
Hello Hanrie,
You intertwined a western and contemporary story in a quite enjoyable read. It is unexpected and quite fun. I like the sense of humour and the way you show the contrast between the characters.
Thank you for sharing!. 🙂-
Thank you so much
-
-
-
Oswald Henri Retief commented on the post, The Bullhead Crown by Hanrie Retief 3 months, 1 week ago
Hi Elaine. Glad you enjoyed it, that is all we want as writers 😁. Jewels > crown jewels > you wear crown on your head > bulhead crown. The way I see prompt are that they are exactly that, a prompt. It’s something that triggers or sparks a thought that turns into a story. The end product may later not even be relatable to that prompt, but the…[Read more]
- Load More