Yesterday Dev told her about the blue blue sky, but all she could se was just another lemon tree. Fun read with a surprising twist 😂

You sketch the new circumstances of the narrator well. Giving in to that temptation of swimming like the children seems to say that the narrator accepts her new circumstances. I like it, I would love a little more hints at their backstory, where they are from why they are there etc.

Thank you so much!

Thank you so much

Thank you so much!

Thank you so much

That sounds fun! I will enroll one day…

Well I’m glad you’re trying different things. I enjoyed the story.

This is a very good idea. And I think you have a great MC. For me the setting of each scene and changes were difficult to follow and understand. But I think with a larger word count that might not have been the case. Well done!

I like your internal monologue and the narration. It’s reflective and dare I say sarcastic. I think the short form is definitely suited for this story but it needs some more descriptions etc. I think one thing you may change is that dialogue, especially that of the narrator is being replaced by internalisation, and I think pure dialogue may be…[Read more]

I liked the mentally ill component of the story. I also think this is an idea that will work well for a full length novel.

Very thoughtful tale of the first time. Sadly soany people experience this. The only suggestion I have is to read and correct missing words and pronouns.

Captivating story and narrator. Was it a zombie apocalypse? The first paragraph makes the second one confusing. I think the first one she is on the hill and the second one in the school. I think it needs a transition. And the three rusted wheels: if they literally don’t turn it would take forever to get the trolley from one place to another. Not…[Read more]

Wow what a good read. I can see it’s part of a bigger story but easily can stand up on its own. Really enjoyed it. Thanks

Lovely story. I’m glad for Chloe. I don’t have mucht to suggest. There are only small things which I am sure you will pick up on a re-write. Very heartwarming. Oh, the only thing I think the reader might want clarity on is why the girls were crying after the tournament.

Thank you! You definitely saw to the core of the story.

Hi Elaine. Glad you enjoyed it, that is all we want as writers 😁. Jewels > crown jewels > you wear crown on your head > bulhead crown. The way I see prompt are that they are exactly that, a prompt. It’s something that triggers or sparks a thought that turns into a story. The end product may later not even be relatable to that prompt, but the…[Read more]