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  • Eliezer Araujo commented on the post, Th-e Glitc-h 6 months ago

    Thank you for your comment, Michel. It was good feedback. I’ll try to improve the text as a whole. It was the first time I wrote like this. It was different and I think it was worth it. But I recognise the limitations.

  • Eliezer Araujo commented on the post, Th-e Glitc-h 6 months ago

    Thank you very much, to tell you the truth, I’ve never written anything with this structure before. It was a trial and a risk. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  • Eliezer Araujo commented on the post, Th-e Glitc-h 6 months ago

    Thank you very much for the kind comment. Certainly kindness navigates through our time-space with energy that is proper to it, passing through subconscious gates in which it generates effects of positive affection. In the meantime, I can’t help but state here: I’m no smarter than Ahmed, surely.

  • 12 midnight – Major Ahmad Orebi received a call to go outside and repair the relay’s component from the sensor RT-433104. It was a Coronel Duncan Owen speciality, but he was informed that the Coronel was alr […]

    • This is awesome. I got super lost in the jargon, and definitely feel like you’re smarter than I am. I’m seeing some words that are missing the space between them, I’m guessing its on purpose to fit the word count. I’d love to read more of this, but maybe a bit easier to understand for the non-physicists among us.

    • Thank you very much for the kind comment. Certainly kindness navigates through our time-space with energy that is proper to it, passing through subconscious gates in which it generates effects of positive affection. In the meantime, I can’t help but state here: I’m no smarter than Ahmed, surely.

    • This is very good. An intriguing story, with a well-developed plot. I like the structure, the timed paragraphs.

      • Thank you very much, to tell you the truth, I’ve never written anything with this structure before. It was a trial and a risk. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

    • I enjoyed the first part, and some way into the middle. After that you lost me. I’m not a complete clod when it comes to this kind of science. I’ve read about Hawking radiation theory, black holes, and understand some elements of quantum theory. I also didn’t recognise some of those names. But like I said I’m more of an armchair enthusiast. As a suggestion, I think that perhaps you should cut the high-end technical stuff (especially the equations). Rather fill up the space with dialogue and find a way to explain things in more simple terms. What I’m trying to say is if I’m battling to follow what’s going on (with my limited knowledge), I can almost guarantee you’re going to miss the mark when it comes to the general reading public – even science fiction fans (which I am one). Please don’t view this as a negative, I’m interested in reading more from you, but I think you’ll have more success if it’s less technical. As always, these are just suggestions. 😉

    • Thank you for your comment, Michel. It was good feedback. I’ll try to improve the text as a whole. It was the first time I wrote like this. It was different and I think it was worth it. But I recognise the limitations.

  • She can also receive her mother with this: “Surprise, we adhere to minimalism!”

  • What a (bad) surprise! Your story really gets us in “short pants”. You were able to make the reader feel that feeling of being suddenly robbed. How horrible. It got really good.

  • A strong, tense story that reveals to us a somewhat gloomy aspect of our contemporaneity. Your sensitivity in each time has given a special quality to the text.

  • Thank you very much Camila, I will verify all your points.

  • For Hire has always been an atypical case. As the others gathered, it spread. They were all born with smooth hair, he, spiked. It was only later that he got this name, when the puppies were put up for sale at the […]

    • Aw, that’s cute! What a creative look into the prompt!
      I just wanted to point out some issues. First, what did you mean by ‘stoned’ in “They were all born with smooth hair, he, stoned” ?
      Second, in “an Grandma’s initiative”, you should use ‘a’ instead of ‘an’. We use ‘an’ before a vowel, and ‘a’ before consonants.
      Other than that, I think it is pretty good.
      I’ll keep following your posts!

  • A lovely, simple story that reveals the magic in the child’s eyes. I’ll keep up with your posts.

  • Captivating. From start to finish. I love sci-fi and this story brought back memories of great scenes, of great books. Or is everything just a kind of mental manipulation? Perhaps through writing it is possible to control the thoughts of others? Wow, what a fear. I loved.

  • Camila, your story has a special touch that makes us think of volunteering as a life experience. This already makes it special. But beyond that, you introduced us to Cameron and the sanctuary and now I want to read more about him. What can I do? Will I have to wait for the book? … lol … I’ll keep an eye out for what you’re going to write next.

  • The magic is in your unique way of looking at the text Camila. It is in the relationship that it springs. Thanks.

  • I’m glad you liked it John. Thanks.

  • I love the way you explore the prompt ‘coalition’ here. A story full of sweetness, which brings an important message of courage and solidarity, values so precious today.

  • Dear Anthea, I’m grateful for your kindness with this comment.

  • Eliezer Araujo posted an update 8 months ago

    Check out my new short story post ‘The oldman and the wind’. A little bity drama and fantasy to talk abut time and life and death.

  • The cool wind announced the arrival of winter. Spreading and gathering leaves across the floor. No standards or expectations, just for fun? To escape the nostalgia of vague afternoons? A vulgar scene, some would […]

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Eliezer Araujo

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active 5 months ago