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  • Hi Marcena – As Jane says you’ve captured a whole story in a poem, and done so very well. I like that you draw on the different love languages – touch versus communication – and how that makes her feel.

    A rather sad poem, well-written as I could immediately empathise with your main character.

  • This is a very clever poem – such depth of language and I enjoyed the way rhyme holds things together.
    An excellent take on the prompt and every well executed.

  • Realy enjoyed reading this. I love the language you use – and the many possibilities that you list. This makes me feel really upbeat and excited about the potential of the blank page.

    Very well done.

  • Hi I also wrote about the blank page. I emjoyed reading your take and the idea of becoming the blank page. That is quite a philosophical concept – I shall muse on that for a while.
    Thanks for sharing.

  • A powerful poem that will resonate for many as well as being a response to the particular case you were writing about.

    Such sadness in the world. I find solace in writing poetry about the difficult things in life. I hope you do too and that your words will speak to those who read what you write.

    Thank you for sharing.

  • As a mother who lost a son this resonates deeply with me.
    Very beautiful and very sad.

  • Pristine, white, dangerously beautiful

    It lies before me, a virginal sacrifice

    To the whim of my muse.

    Fingers poise to despoil its purity

    Dark angry words splash across its surface

    Sweet expressions temper […]

    • Hi, loved this poem. Such wonderful descriptions for sheets of paper:) The vessel for our creativity and sometimes our torment. Well done.

    • The best line for me is ‘Dark angry words splash across its surface’, which is very visual. I like your take on the (difficult) prompt.

    • Generally, we write words on paper. You wrote thoughtfully the paper on words.

    • GREAT imagery— I loved the phrases “to the whim of my muse” and “fingers poised to despoil its purity.” I have despoiled many a blank page. You most definitely did not on this poem~

    • Love it! When I was in middle school a hundred years ago, I wrote a rhyming poem titled, “Literature in the Trash,” and this work of yours brought that memory back. (I have since lost the words, but I remember writing it out in pink pen in a scrapbook way back then.) I love these lines:
      It lies before me, a virginal sacrifice
      To the whim of my muse.

      I do so much writing on the keyboard these days. I miss the crumpling and tossing of defiled pages. Perhaps your poem will inspire me to go back to the blank paper. Thanks so much for sharing this gem.

  • I willingly gave

    You willingly took

    I hoped for reciprocation.

    I ceased to give

    You started to steal

    I hoped for repentance.

    I withdrew

    You advanced

    I hoped for negotiation.

    You attacked

    I defended

    I […]

    • Wow, this is a beautiful poem. I love the simplicity of the words and the directness. Really well done.

    • Give
      and take
      and conequence.
      A whole story neatly encapsulated

    • I love the use of free verse here, such a story, and you left it slightly open so it could be romance, friends, strangers etc.
      So much depth, two words saying so much, and giving me a great visual.
      The last 2 lines are very sad, you feel the pain, the loss.
      Great poem!

    • The poem surges back and forth between. ‘you’ and ‘I’, like rough waves on a beach. Certainly it is a sad poem about an unbalanced relationship.

  • I welcome the protection of this mighty oak tree

    With baited breath my fate undecided

    As in silence I bow, no place left to flee.

    From valley to mountain I walked fancy-free

    Until bad luck beset me and […]

    • Hi Sharon. Not quite a Villanelle, but some beautiful imagery in this poem. The ‘mighty oak tree’ offering protection is such a comforting concept. Well done and thanks for sharing.

    • Hi Sharon the technical demands of the villanelle are almost impossible, so I think you did an amazing and beautiful job with this. It is lyrical and full of beautiful imagery. There is such an urgency and almost a crescendo in the ‘Oh God high above’ sequence. Must be read aloud. Gorgeous.

    • Hi Sharon

      This is full of vivid imagery and soulfulness. I loved how you worked the villanelle to your advantage and made it part of the story. Great job!

      Martin

    • This has a medievel feel to it, at least to me, a story of lost friendship and hunted quarry. The image of the mighty oak tree is vivid and gives off a sense of strength and comfort. Nice work.

    • First I was drawn to your picture – gorgeous roots! And then I fell in love with your words – the power of the tree and the protection it gives, all woven into a (like Peggy said, almost Medieval ) melancholic piece. Beautiful.

    • I thought of Harriet Tubman, but I know this could be anyone fleeing for their life. I love the image of the mighty oak—one of my favorite trees. Its strength and protection are the perfect image for your theme. I don’t understand the first comment, “not quite a villanelle.” You’ve done a great job with a difficult form. And you tell a vivid story as well.

  • Excellent. You’ve captured the emotion of the times really well, and made writing a villanelle look easy!

    A great read. Makes me want to hug my grandson even more. Roll on normal life.

  • Sorry that should say ’emotional context’.

  • Very well done. I think you have captured the current times in a very tricky poetic structure really well. I like that it echoes Dylan Thomas – adds to the emotional contect.

  • Really well done. I guess the purists might say it isn’t a villanelle because you changed the last line of the refrain, but I love that you did that because your the small changes add so much to the poem. Besides, rules in poetry only exist to be broken, right?

    A very lovely read.

  • This is beautiful. I particularly like the ‘night-net of no regret’ phrase. What a wonderful image that creates.

    I like too your line about remembering the better not the envy.

    As someone who suffers from insomnia and frequently wrestles with dark thoughts in the middle of the night, this was a comforting poem. Thank you for writing it.

  • A very thought provoking poem.
    I like that each verse is similar yet different, and the mother in the final verse pouring away the milk is very sad without a care is a strong finish.

    Couple of things to consider for editing:

    In the second verse you use the word ‘too’ in line 5 and then again in line 7 – can you find a different word or…[Read more]

  • She means well but she’s not very wise

    Oblivious as she is to the threat high above

    A bigger more raggedy nest, not neatly hidden like hers

    Its owner, with striking black and white feathers,

    has no need of c […]

    • Sad, but so true. Better she doesn’t know till it happens.

    • Hi Sharon,
      This piece is clever and different. As Cathy said sad, but true. I always wondered why magpies did this to the other birds. Creepy bunch those magpies!

      Great job,
      Maria

    • Oh goodness, we have Magpies where I live and YES, this is such a true and sad situation. Well done!

    • This is well-observed and not at all sentimental. I like your final lines:
      They’ve got you targeted / A fast-food take-away / In the pecking order / Of life.
      This could apply to so many situations. A super poem. Thanks for sharing it.

    • Jane replied 3 months ago

      OH yes the very cruel circle of life. You have depicted it so beautifully I almost cannot imagine what is about to happen. Well done and thanks for sharing:)

    • Hi Sharon, I love your poem and how you have depicted the little blackbird as innocent and naive. I also especially loved the lines ‘Poor little blackbird, be afraid, be afraid,/As you flit in and out of the sweet-scented honeysuckle’ – such a beautiful image of the dainty bird just going about its business unawares. Thank you for sharing.

  • Ismael Rodriguez and Profile picture of MKpoetMKpoet are now friends 3 months ago

  • This is lovely – well done with coming up with so many different words to describe life with a dog. I particularly like these lines:
    Lashing, gnashing, thrashing, gnawing

    Bashing, scratching, ripping, pawing.

    A bark, a growl, a yip, a howl,

    A keening cry of waves most foul.

    I think it is because I am owned by a cat who yowls loud…[Read more]

  • What a wonderful poem. Love that it describes life with a parrot so colourfully and joyfully.
    I live with a budgie who has a large English vocabulary but also chatters away in budgie-speak. I couldn’t do half as good a job of capturing the latter as you have done here. It is delightful.

  • This made me smile. I too love that you’ve created a visual image with the words. Very clever – especially given how tricky I find it to persuade the formatting to include breaks between verses!

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