• Thanks for the read – I just can’t help myself with the funny bits here and there. Glad you are enjoying it. 😉 Having fun with this – just don’t know how to end it.

  • Great scene, love the new dynamic and especially the honesty with which you approached the whole setup and delivery. It’s always a challenge to write and I think you did a marvellous job with this. I look forward to the next episode. 😉

  • That PA of hers. Wow, bit on the, how shall I put this – itching to get fired side. She’s a group PA and not just for Fran right. LOL. They’re supposed to assist you, not give you uphill. But Fran played her right.
    Laszlo never changes, you’ve done him so well I can smell the cigar smoke and just too much after shave. Love it. I see he’s st…[Read more]

  • That was a great scene, very powerful and well put together. I like that there was no discussion or backwards and forwards – straight up demands and all delivered in a concise manner. The fact that you did it from the other side’s perspective is even better – made it very clear.
    The summary of the gathered men was funny.
    One thing I spott…[Read more]

  • Well, well. That’s a lot of revealing information and ties up some of the whole father daughter relationship from much earlier in the story. Lucky the old lady kept it all.
    I read what you said about her personality and the dresses. It’s an interesting character dynamic and one you should lean into. Have her feeling things and doing things tha…[Read more]

  • I liked this line, “She pulled at the sleeves of her sweater as if that might make up for her wrinkled dress…” I also enjoyed the descriptions of the house and the conservatory. 😉 So much small details that pulled so much together. Really good. You might need to provide some dialogue from Glenn to get her to leave the docks and go to the hou…[Read more]

  • I like the idea of sacrificing jumpers to get further, more interesting time jumping lore for you to work out all the rules for. I felt that tiredness on Nell, these poor characters haven’t had a proper rest in a while. In desperate need of some teatime for their souls.
    All this betrayal and battling, it’s rather fun but these guys really nee…[Read more]

  • Madison stood inside the tunnel connecting the two stone and wood doors and shone the torch along the wall, pausing at each of the bamboo tubes. Something was nagging at her about the way the tunnel was shaped, a […]

    • This has a definite Indiana Jones feel to it, lots of contraptions and mechanisms to puzzle out, and the mystery around who put this here and why. I loved the humor throughout the scene, Ethan and Madison are clearly getting very comfortable with each other. Ethan’s mock call to the doctor about the tablets cracked me up. Great scene, Michael – am thoroughly enjoying your story.

      • Thanks for the read – I just can’t help myself with the funny bits here and there. Glad you are enjoying it. 😉 Having fun with this – just don’t know how to end it.

  • It’s tricky for sure. What might help is define the rules of your universe. Magic can be a thing and if it follows the ‘rules’ people will accept and enjoy it. It’s a real challenge for sure, and fun to write about.

  • Thanks for the read. Yeah, River God – I enjoyed that book. Didn’t love it like I’ve loved others from him.
    I agree, I always spend most of my time when visiting museums in the Egyptian section. I have yet to visit the Giza plateau for real – but it’s on the list – eventually.

  • I imagine they took turns changing. Ethan wouldn’t have hung around for a sneak peek – he’s not that kind of guy. 😉 Yeah, I’ve grown tired of women screaming at skeletons – it’s over done these days. I really do like your foreshadowing, when thinking about the two skeletons. I will make a passing remark about that for sure – what a great bit of…[Read more]

  • They say characters are supposed to grow and learn – holding thumbs. 😉

  • A girl friend of mine use to tell me how she packed her suitcase depending on who she was going with, how new that person was and so on. Only worrying about the ‘where’ later on in the process. It was a fascinating insight. I just throw in the usual stuff I wear everyday and never think about it again. 😉 Thanks for the read!

  • Thanks for the read. Glad it worked out – I left it way too late and was worried about it. But I guess that whole procrastination theory with writers must be true. I spend too long cooking it up in my head, then rush to get it on the page. Damn curse. I like Madison as a strong person – her dad helped get her like that. Her mom provides the…[Read more]

  • This was a fantastic scene, it felt so light and breezy coming off the last few and the pressure cooker that Fran was in. Excellent change of pace and tone here.
    It was a great idea to start with guy to set the mood right – I was expecting a bit of a rapid-fire catch-up session between them – his reaction would have been funny. He was right aft…[Read more]

  • Michael commented on the post, Tin's Bended by nsbnina 1 week ago

    Damn, this is a solid 10 out of 10 in terms of scenes. I don’t even know where to start, I loved the moments with Billy, strange how one child comes to her when the other is missing. I was expecting something from Billy’s dad during all of this – but Clarissa needed to feel like she did.
    Nice bits on the beach with the glass.
    Where on Earth…[Read more]

  • Not sure about the PG warning, LOL. I saw nothing. 😉 This was an excellent scene. These two after a battle with all the emotional and other complications – good they found a kind of something with each other before getting back to life – those black flags. Nice touch.
    I was wondering about the time jumpers bringing back bodies. Could they not…[Read more]

  • Yeah, I do think you’ve got a tragic romance vibe going on in your story (I do dark in my short stories sometimes). But it fit the character. She’s a bit of a disaster. 😉 I do often wonder what the hell I’m doing – apparently it’s common for us writer folk.

  • Well not yet, they’re in a cave. LOL. Thanks for the read.
    I think I’ll be happy with a respectable 3 out of 5 rating for this story. It’s just never going to fit into whatever framework you’re expecting from it. I hear what you’re saying, but this is kind of my style. The situations and environments and characters are all as real as they can be.…[Read more]

  • Indeed, how to wrap this up in 15 000 words is the real question. Gulp.
    Thanks for the read and kind comments – I was a little concerned about the description of the environment. But I’m glad to see it landed okay.
    One thing that I have failed at are their provisions. Here goes. Ethan arranged all that high-end camping gear, backpacks and sat…[Read more]

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Michael

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@michael

Active 2 hours, 7 minutes ago
Short Story : 10
Poetry : 0
WTC : 0
52 Scenes : 42
Dialogue : 0
Flash Fiction : 0