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  • Hi Christian,
    Thank you for that poem. It’s one I can genuinely emphasise with memories of a breakup, which for me, meant freedom. Thank you for a poem which stirred my emotions.

  • Thank you, Becky, for those kind words.

  • Thank you, Jane. Your kind words are much appreciated.

  • Thank you so much, Christian. Much appreciated.

  • For You, BabeI watch you as you stand thereWith your hands upon your hips,Sizing up the next piece of work.Just a few odd jobs you say,Things that need doing,Repairs to be made.To me, those jobs are not […]

    • This is very heart-felt, Maria. I love the dip in the middle (weak, diagnosis, worry), with a hope and warmth on either side of it. I feel gratitude and love in these lines. Lovely poem!

    • This is beautiful Maria, I’m so glad your partner is well again, it must have been a scary time for you. Familiarity is warming in this poem – and your words are touching and filled with a deep respect and love:) Thanks for sharing.

    • Hello Maria,
      I like the way love shines through this poem, both in the recognition of the job one does for the other and the worry over health. Lovely poem.

  • Hi Jane,
    This is a lovely poem, beautifully woven together in two languages. It is a beautiful expression of the love that a mother has for her child and the yearning that goes with it when they pass. Thanks for sharing.

  • Hi Teresa,

    This was a lovely poem, cleverly worked out. I think it’s worth polishing. The theme is good. It did give me pause for thought. Thank you for sharing.

  • Hi Becky,
    This is such a thoughtful poem. It reminds me of that cliche, ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’. But there is nothing well worn about your piece. The words are fresh and original. I liked it a lot. Thank you for sharing.

  • Hi Zannie,
    A beautiful poem. It’s well paced with great phrases. As others have said, it expresses the feelings of many. Thank you for sharing.

  • Hi Seyi,
    Gosh, this rips along. As someone else has mentioned, there are a lot of images there. It’s a very visual piece. I admit that I shall have to go back and refresh my memory of what happened before. A month is a long time:-) Great writing and for the record, having to research the stories a bit never puts me off. It adds to the intrigue.…[Read more]

  • Hi Seyi,
    So good of you for taking the time to read my piece and for your constructive (and very complimentary) comments. They are very much appreciated, but now I can’t get my head through the door😂. Your suggestion to improve things are welcome. I’ll have another look tomorrow with a view to editing those areas. Thank you again. Have a great…

  • Hi Jane,
    Thank you for taking the time to read this and for your kind comments. Yes, I will be continuing it, although I still have no idea where it’s going to lead me. But I’m enjoying the discipline of writing the story bit by bit. Yes, I agree about the edit and will sort it out. Thank you for spotting it. Have a good month:-)

  • Hi Amrita,
    Thank you so much for your kind comments. They are appreciated and so encouraging.

  • Thank you, Marilyn, for your inspiring comments. I sometimes wonder whether I should bring this series to an end, but comments like those you have made are so encouraging. Thank you.

  • Hi Amrita,
    I enjoyed this. You really ramped up the tension by your description of Rene and her actions. I wanted to know more. I’m left wondering what happens next. Thank for a great read.

  • Hi Marilyn,
    What an interesting story with interesting characters. The only thing I would add is that it felt like a basis for a longer story. It would have been good to have read about how they found out and why the detective went to Madame Berkley in the first place. I would liked to know more about that. I do appreciate that we had word count…[Read more]

  • Hi Nelly,
    What a descriptive piece of work. You have built up this alien world beautifully and developed the story with a gentle pace. I didn’t anticipate the twist at the end. Thank you for an enjoyable story with just the right amount of creepiness:-)

  • Is Someone Telling Porkies? 

    “Are you awake now, Andy?”

    The rough rasping tone of the voice shot through his brain. He was comfortable where he was. Waking up was not an option he welcomed.

    With his eyes stil […]

    • Hi Maria,

      I totally enjoyed the suspense and tension build up! You are building this story so well and I love that Andy is safe. The alien strategy is based on logic and I hope Pam is able to ward off the evil Captain Sparron and his henchmen. I wonder how she will get out of this tricky situation now. Great pacing and writing! Thank you for sharing!

    • I enjoyed the way the dialogue carried the story along.
      I had not read the earlier stories, but was able to catch onto the theme of this one, nonetheless, which is good.
      Interesting that your stories of aliens come along as we are starting to receive acknowledgement of what we figured all along, that we are not the only life in the universe and perhaps have even been communicating with others for a long time.
      And of course, the test of a good story is if it leaves you wanting to read more.
      This met the test!!!

      • Thank you, Marilyn, for your inspiring comments. I sometimes wonder whether I should bring this series to an end, but comments like those you have made are so encouraging. Thank you.

    • Jane replied 3 weeks ago

      Hi Maria, I really enjoyed this instalment. It flowed well and the speech was natural. I read it really quickly and am looking forward to next months story. I hope you continue on with this storyline as you are doing a fabulous job. I’m glad Pam has received the message so that she at least knows her husband is alive and safe (at present). Let’s hope she can keep the Space Agency interrogators at bay for a while.

      One tiny edit required on these two sentences, a full stop in the wrong place and it doesn’t quite flow:
      She opened the kitchen door and through to the back garden without hesitation. went straight outside. – Maybe – She opened the kitchen door and walked straight to the back garden.

      Well done and thanks for sharing.

      • Hi Jane,
        Thank you for taking the time to read this and for your kind comments. Yes, I will be continuing it, although I still have no idea where it’s going to lead me. But I’m enjoying the discipline of writing the story bit by bit. Yes, I agree about the edit and will sort it out. Thank you for spotting it. Have a good month:-)

    • Hello, again Maria. I think this is one of your best-constructed chapters. It answers a lot of questions while keeping the tension high, and I liked the additional physical description of Vitora (contained in ‘The rectangular pupils flickered from side to side.‘) I’d suggest for the second sentence, you try ‘Vitora’s rough rasping tone shot through his brain.‘ It saves you a few words, I think. Also, with the sentence beginning ‘We are too far away for you to video call…‘ perhaps you can consider ending it with ‘a message that will be transmitted to Pam.‘ Or if you prefer Vitora to remain formal, ‘a message that will be transmitted to your wife.‘ Hope this helps and very best regards, Seyi

      • Hi Seyi,
        So good of you for taking the time to read my piece and for your constructive (and very complimentary) comments. They are very much appreciated, but now I can’t get my head through the door😂. Your suggestion to improve things are welcome. I’ll have another look tomorrow with a view to editing those areas. Thank you again. Have a great month.

  • Hi Sue,
    What a facinating piece of writing and an original take on the prompt. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It reminded me about my mother, who had all her teeth out in her early twenties. I remember one occasion when she went to eat a scone with jam and cream and her false teeth got there before her mouth:-) The embarrassment was doubled because as…[Read more]

  • Hi Jane,
    This was a good continuation with the past coming back to Bethany in a dream. Very clever. I found the pace of the piece just right and was gripped by the unfolding tale. I’m also pleased to see that it may well be continued. Thank you for a great read.

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Maria Kinnersley

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@marialynch

Active 1 week, 4 days ago