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  • Thanks for your comments, Mike.

  • Good opening and use of anaphora to set a rhythm. You did a good job of introducing the main character/environment, and using the story to set apprehension from the beginning. The story begins in the middle, having already made a decision, and being at the location which we assume is the Aunt’s house. Who is Carrie? What did she want her meet…[Read more]

  • SM,
    Thank you for your comments. This was a fun story to write, and I am learning so much from these exercises.

  • Kidnapped by Randy Hughes

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    Felicity had grown used to the damp and dark of her concrete home. She suffered in silence—the bloodied lips, bruised ribs, emotional battering, and dazed-drug states, but a […]

  • So true, Mike. We are all like children of eighteen months at times.

    Thanks for the comments

  • Hi Linda,
    Good opening. The only thing might be comma placement.

    Thanks for sharing this.

  • Hi Linda,
    100 words was a nice break, and fun to see what could be stuffed in.
    Thanks for the kind words.

  • Hi Linda
    This was a very interesting story to read. I liked how you worked Stevie’s emotions back and forth, throughout. I also thought you did a good job of managing the conflict within the story.

    Mike is made out to be the antagonist, but I thing Stevie plays both roles. Making Mike a jerk helps her make the tough decision to let him go,…[Read more]

  • Hi Marilyn,
    Definitely an action packed story with many twists and turns. The plot-line appears to be about how Vivian is strong in the face of adversity. For her to run, without any attempt to help the carpeted children seems a little out of character, and puts the theme about survival at all costs.

    The story is interesting, and regardless…[Read more]

  • Lifecycle by Randy Hughes
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    The canal water, dirty tan with catkin stems and reeds along the edges, lapped over gray, sludgy mud. Water skeeters danced across the surface, avoiding Josh and Betty’s shadows and m […]

    • Good story! Interesting use of the ‘whale’’ prompt. Your story brings back childhood memories of my own, when I used to catch tadpoles at the pond on the property that my parents owned. Then take them home and watch the tail disappear and the legs appear and then bring them back to the pond to release the frogs.

    • Hi Linda,
      100 words was a nice break, and fun to see what could be stuffed in.
      Thanks for the kind words.

  • I didn’t know those things had a pause button. I like that idea…does it work for phone calls?

    Good job on the scene. Luckily those whales like to jump. You do cover a lot of ground in 100 words. Thanks for sharing.

  • The view of a beachhouse during a hurricane comes to mind in the first paragraph. Good detail. In the second, we finish out the story well, circling back around to why she lives there.

    Nicely done in 100 words. Everything is there, and with feeling.

  • Well done story. I enjoy the depth of interior emotions you bring out in your work, and how you use language to drive visuals. Almost poetic.

  • Thanks for the kind words, Peggy.

    With kids and their technology these days, I won’t be surprised to see something on the news about a baby born with a cell phone in hand. Maybe with a pre-wired headset.

    This was kind of a fun exercise.

  • Alternate Agenda by Randy Hughes

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    For a hundred years, the sun setting over the western horizon created a picturesque view of an orange and gold mist, remnants of toxic residue from the Tenarian’s last v […]

    • Peaceful to violent and back to relatively peaceful after battle. Then double cross.
      The description of the cannons rising … ‘through the ground, dripping dirt, trees, roads, landscape in their wake.’ Gives a very vivid description of the unveiling of the tremendous firepower – that has no effect. But gives the chance and justification to use ‘the blockade.’

    • Thanks for your comments, Mike.

  • Hi Peggy,
    Nice job on this story. The visuals were excellent and the pace kept things moving along. There were plenty of twists and turns and good foreshadowing. The girl at the end was a good add.

    Style: Freight train without brakes.
    Tone: Action/detective
    Senses: Appropriate for keeping pace up and for an action audience.
    Like: Yes.…[Read more]

  • Linda,
    This story was a ‘Where the Red Fern Grows’ kind of story–of love and loss. It was very well told, with deeply felt internal emotions and use of senses. Paul and Angie made a unique coffee couple with a lot in common. The story flowed from start to end in coherent lines, ending with a theme about our inability to control fate, but…[Read more]

  • Beginning: A 19 year-old, living on his own in a one bedroom, is set upon by his parents during a pandemic.
    Middle: His parents throw a party, without masks, relegating him to the bathroom.
    End: He gets past it all and realizes to loves them, and that’s what life is about.

    Plot: growth adventure story – learning to live with parents.…[Read more]

  • An interesting detective story, where the case may be impossible to solve until someone starts talking.

    I enjoyed the tale, though not sure where it was going, and some focus on punctuation would be good, particularly comma usage.

    I am guessing Stella is our culprit, perhaps a chimpanzee? Perhaps Jasmine’s multiple personalities.

  • Little Devil by Randy Hughes
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    Jared Reynolds was an exquisite boy. At one, he could walk, run, read, and knew his alphabet, though he did have trouble pronouncing Australia, which he persistently called […]

    • I see this as a combination of fantasy, comedy, and horror all wrapped into one funny and intriguing story. At first I thought you must have written it wrong, and meant 18 years rather than months, but realized right away that it was intentional, and so I suspended my belief imagining a barely-toddler typing on a computer, hacking into systems and controlling technology to such an extent. I thought you did a great job transitioning to his mom trying to wean him off his “booby snacks” and the ending was hilarious, using reverse psychology to get his way.
      Well done on meeting the intent of this exercise, with this fully developed story that has an obvious beginning, middle, and end.
      Nice work!

    • Thanks for the kind words, Peggy.

      With kids and their technology these days, I won’t be surprised to see something on the news about a baby born with a cell phone in hand. Maybe with a pre-wired headset.

      This was kind of a fun exercise.

    • Oh, the stories of conflicts that have been over this. Those from moms, doctors, dads, siblings. Any time one is forced to give up something of comfort there will be conflict. A good showing of Jared’s reaction of being denied what he wants. While thinking like an adult on most things he responses like a child of eighteen months. And like a good number of parents since there was no immediate danger there was a reconciliation and compromise.
      But what will happen when he is two? Or ten?

    • So true, Mike. We are all like children of eighteen months at times.

      Thanks for the comments

    • HI Randy,
      This was great! So much fun to read. I loved the descriptions of his brilliance in terms of things he did when he was bored, hacking into electrical grids, balancing checkbooks, refinancing. We adults really live mundane lives. I love that as gifted as he is cognitively, he hasn’t figured out how to deal with emotional issues, so he needs to revert back to his 18-month toddler emotional resources. That was great. I really love how exhausting that was for him. I thought that the references to yanking the rope of guilt as he thinks about Freud, Skinner, and Piaget were just brilliant. We see that he’s learning how to import his knowledge to use it to manipulate Mommy.
      Clever! I really enjoyed this story, it was funny!

    • SM,
      Thank you for your comments. This was a fun story to write, and I am learning so much from these exercises.

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Randy Hughes

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