Hi Lauren. We all wish we lived in an ideal world with standards as you put forward. But the reality is so different. Still, as a poem it is heart touching. Very well written.

oh yes, I love you wrote this. what if indeed. and when, I always wonder, does our perspective turn from that joyous open childhood to the breaking heart?

Ah yes! But those who thirst for power and control force the gentle lover into their schemes. Classic life struggle. It’s always good to acknowledge truths, no matter how painful.

What if this could be the standard for our world? What a lovely thought Lauren. I loved this poem and the personification you created for the ‘world’ at the beginning. Well done:)

Hello Lauren,
Dreaming is free… A good ‘what if?’ poem. Thanks for sharing.

A lovely poem, Lauren! Such beautiful thoughts but the reality is very different. Like you , I also wish to live in this world full of love and care. Hope it hapoens in the near future. Well Done!

After reading this intriguing story I’m interested in finding out what happens next.

The stream of consciousness works well and the atmosphere build throughout. ‘crickets screamed’ was unexpected

Great descriptions, the narrator’s choice of words really convey the character, and the stream of consciousness is well done

Hi Lauren, I had to stop myself from wanting to put full stops in. But as I read I can see it is mean to flow like a stream of consciousness. The narrator telling his story. This is cleverly done and you have a dropped a few little clues to link us back to church. Could it be the pastor who is doling out these poison pen letters….
One tiny edit required: they’ll never knew how much – know
Well done.

Hey Lauren and how goes it? This feels like the perfect representation of whoever started the poison pens. Great idea to let his/her thoughts pour forth, unfiltered. That edgy tone, the thrill-seeking comments, and the hint of mania answer a ton of questions. Great use of the prompt and the tiny word count. Best regards, Seyi

I love the breathlessness of all of it–it’s almost like the short prompt was built for this character. I’m intrigued to see what they look like to the outside world when their inner monologue looks like this….

Hello Lauren,
Interesting use of the flow of thought technique. It gives a very condense and intense story. Somewhat hard to understand but great representation of your POV.
Thank you for sharing! 🙂