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  • Good character development of your MC ,you’ve shown her using some great detail to highlight her agitation. Be mindful of not repeating the palm rubbing, incense etc too much in such a short word count – once is sufficient. In a longer piece you could get away with it,but in a short word count it becomes obvious/repetitative.
    My only issue in…[Read more]

  • Quite the gut punch to the plexus…this woman is brave and courageous to understand it was never about her,but rather his need to control,dominate- and that last line,where she wrestles control back to the ‘me’

    Creepy…but you captured it so well….

  • Kim commented on the post, Fragments by Peggy Rockey 1 week ago

    Frustrating reading this on mobile app as its cutting of all the words at the tail end of your lines

    HOWEVER, technical issues asides…I love the imagery of those broken dreams upon awakening,struggling to capture the remnants before wakefulness spirits the vestiges away…wonderful.

    Agree- consciousness doesnt quite fit the meter…have no…[Read more]

  • Brilliant ❤

  • 🤣🤣🤣🤣 both….and they mustnt know about each other!! 😁😄

    Yea…been rough few months didnt write. But have been keeping up with my poetry…that’s been my lifeline tbh…

  • I hate zoom calls. Your bra-up is perfect!!
    Loved this !

  • This brought a smile to my face.
    The first word drops …as in a mic drop?
    Fun 😊

  • I can feel the frosty alienation as this relationship slowly dies , very emotional .
    Loved the imagery of the tides, the wind,the cold – all of it coveys that frigid despair and of slowly sinking.
    Well done Charles – brave to let us into your heartache and courageous to share. Sending you 🤗❤

  • This was so touching – could just about see you bursting with pride, and perhaps a little fearful too – to let her go to find her own way in the world.
    Love the pic also,it is stunning
    Well done you Mama Bear – your daughter will always find her way back to you, enjoy those special moments ❤

  • Could definitely hear this as a rap by Eminem or Snoop Dog.
    Loved your line: soothe your pain with lyrical Novacain – real NICE
    Excellent.
    And yes- I was totally engaged and mesmerized 😊

  • Brilliant!!👏👏

  • I really applaud the bravery of one who realises their feelings arent reciprocated and walks away with their dignity intact. It takes courage and it is akin to mourning,which you touch on.
    Nicely ,and astutely expressed

  • Straight from the heart . Beautiful .
    Hope this gives others understanding.

  • Absolutely agree!

  • In Memoriam by Kim

    #

    First there was one

    Whose tail helicopter-spun

    boundless joy across the dappled green

    living viva la dolce vita

    –  as only she could

    Then came two

    A black-ish hellish brute

    At odds […]

    • Kim, my heart breaks reading this poem. Only those who have lost children can truly know the depths of this pain. I can only hope this is not true for you. And if it is, we can talk. ;(

    • Hi Kim…I have no words…unlike you who had lots of eloquent ones. Thinking of you. x

    • Kim a masterful poem reflecting your eloquent use of language

    • I didn’t know.

      This is the most beautiful piece you have ever written. It could win awards. Heartbreaking, skillfully crafted.

      This is your best work by a landslide. I have never read anything so masterfully executed on this site!

      My heart is with you sweet friend.

    • Hi Kim. It’s hard to detract from the heartbreak of this poem and see beyond it, but your words and the images you have created with them are exquisite. I so hope this is not your personal tragedy. So sorry if it is. Thank you for sharing.

    • Your words and the imagery are so very powerful, my eyes are swimming in tears and my heart aches for you, for the emotions you must have gone through to put these words on paper and to share them with the world. This is heartbreaking and breathtakingly beautiful.

    • What wonderful rhythm this has, accentuated by often subtle rhyming. Such a gentle tone that makes the heartbreak all the more powerful. 🙏🏼

    • Hi Kim… Wow. Such a powerful, beautiful and heartbreaking piece of poetry. The words chosen are perfect. Simple, elegant and paint a picture of four precious little beings. The loss at the end…… tragic. I hope you have not personally suffered this. Thank you for sharing.

    • Hello Kim, I was so sad to read this. The loving portraits you paint of your children are wonderful, but the death of one eclipses much of the joy of the others. A really emotional read and I hope you are ok.

    • Lovely writing and deep condolences on your losses.
      Wanda

    • Kim my heart breaks reading this powerful poem. Beautiful tribute crafted with care and love. Best to you.

    • Wow Kim! Your words are strangling my heart with their power. The rhythm pulls me beautifully to the brutal end.

      I send love and light for healing of the heartbreak in this poem. May the release of the words be a little helpful.

      Great work and thanks for sharing a piece of your soul.

  • Enjoyed this .each line reads as a one-liner comeback to someones elses passing retort .

    Read your reply about your father-in-law : I am very sorry to hear. I remember your piece from last month -it was raw and honest. I hope you feel some measure of solace, relief and acceptance for what was an untenable , hopeless condition . May he find…[Read more]

  • Kim commented on the post, The Lemming by Babette 2 weeks ago

    What a great thriller-wish there was more!
    You totally pulled me in and I was quite frustrated coming to the end of this and nothing to look fwd to.

    So she crossed,and then double -crossed her ex-boss/lover/agent?
    Hope you continue this later.

    I still dont get why you do not have a following -your writing is always good and intriguing- do you…[Read more]

  • There is something intriguing about this piece -am assuming its part of a larger work.
    An honest critique? – I think you could elevate it into the realm of lyrical mysticism if you pay attention to the details (without being flowery).
    The coil of the powerful undercurrent, the nightslip nothing more than a murmur etc- work on pulling the reader…[Read more]

  • Aawww such a feel good romance.
    Send me one of them handy Aussies pleez, I also need some building work done.. 😉😊

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Kim

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